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Googltrocity

GoogltrocityGoogle + atrocity = Googltrocity
How does a retard like me get listed on Google, to the top return of their search engine?  Do you want to know?  Sure you do.. but this isn’t Google-hacking or Google-whacking or Google-spanking or Monkey-spanking.  The trick is …

… to come up with a word that doesn’t currently exist, say “Googltrocity” and then blog about it.  But actually have some sort of content to your blog so that people want to read it.  Add some retardation and humor, sprinkle in some pictures and .. BAAAMMM! (– all due respect to In Living Color).

Google is case sensitive, when it wants to be.  How do I know, I Googled “google” and got 714,000,000 results:Googltrocity case sensitive

Then I Googled “Google” and got 1,040,000,000 results:
Googltrocity case sensitive

Now I’m not really sure that there are 1 billion web pages about Google, since other Google searches seem to indicate that Google has indexed approximately 8,640,000,000 pages (I’ll explain my approximation at the end of this article).  That means Google things almost one in every eight pages on their indexed world wide web is about them!  That’s pretty conceded.

Google is stupid?  Nope… Google is “stoopid” though:
Googltrocity Google is stoopid
I actually think that Google is really creative and more genious like, but I’m retarded so what do I know.

Googletard would be Google is retarded, but Google insists that anything with Googletard must mean Googlebar:
Googlocity Googletard

Maybe Googletard is incorrect and it should be Googletarded:
Googltrocity Googletarded
Nope, not Googletarded.  Googleturds though, why would they recommend that?

How about a quick search on what secretes on Google’s sites:
Googltocity secrete
Google replaces “secrete” with “secret” and doesn’t even bother giving a correction.

Why would Google replace “secrete” with “secret” when searching within their own domain?  When searching on Google for “secrete” without defining a site, there is a recommended word replacement “secret” but the search does not do it automatically.  This makes me wonder if Google will correct with a suggested spelling on sites in order not to give a zero response (which is something someone else can check out, my A.D.D. is kicking in now).

Alrighty then, how did I come up with that 8,640,000,000 pages?  I Googled “www”.  That’s the most common word that I could think of, but maybe there’s better and my tight helmet restricting blood flow to my brain is not allowing me to come up with a better test.  Can you do better?  Probably not (but if you do, comment and let me know what you used).

Interesting searches through Google:

Word Searched Search Day 6/8/2007 Search Day 6/15/2007
http 2,140,000,000 2,000,000,000
if 2,540,000,000 2,460,000,000
for 4,350,000,000 4,430,000,000
the 4,860,000,000 5,310,000,000
and 5,400,000,000 5,120,000,000
a 8,670,000,000 8,640,000,000
www 9,190,000,000 9,070,000,000
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Posted By: Michael Sharpe

News Category: Rants, Retarded, Technerd

 

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