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God Hates Road Rage

God Hates Road RageSeems that the Vatican has come forward to issue “10 Commandments” for good motorists. Stupid? Ya, I think so. And when I think it is, it must be bad because I’m retarded. Let me run down the list for you.

  1. You shall not kill.
  2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
  3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
  4. Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents.
  5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
  6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
  7. Support the families of accident victims.
  8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
  9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
  10. Feel responsible toward others.

There are some Commandments missing. They may not be obvious so let me place them here now:

  1. Thou shall not drive objects of any kind into alter boys.
  2. Thou shall drive vehicles at any speed necessary to see Jessica Biel, anywhere, at any time.
  3. Take as many pictures of car accidents as possible, and share them among RetardZone.
  4. Giveth the middle finger to motorists that cut in front of you.
  5. Only rubber-neck when you aren’t in front of me.
  6. When happening upon a motorist that is in need of assistance such as changing a tire:
    a. If person is a female in need of assistance
    I. -and she is hot, exchange labor for labor — you know what I mean…
    II. -and she is not hot, honk and laugh while driving past
    b. If person is a male in need of assistance
    I. -and their car is nicer than yours, stop and offer help in exchange for cash
    II. -and their car is crappier than yours, drive on; Men don’t need help.
  7. Thou shall not drive with signal indicator on for more than 500 feet.
  8. Thou shall not drive while being asian female.
  9. Thou shall not tailgate without a really, really good reason.
  10. If thou driveth to my abode bring beer.

God Hates Road Rage

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Posted By: Michael Sharpe

News Category: Rants, Retarded



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