Hummertarded

Thank Fred for Hummers.  I mean, without Hummers I know a lot of wives that wouldn’t have nice jewelry, “working girls” that would have to become waitresses, waitresses that would lose tips, Champagne rooms that would become sparkling cider rooms, and your mom would have to get a real job.  Let’s not even talk about your sister’s business.

But this isn’t about that kind of Hummer, it’s about the retard-nation that drives Hummers to and from work, when they work in neighborhoods without dirt roads or obstacle courses.  Those nansy-pansy people that drive their H2 from their covered garage to work and back home, sometimes stopping at the grocery store for some Charmin.  What is the purpose?

If you want to show off that you have a lot of money, wear a Rolex or throw wads of cash at strippers.  Don’t drive your immaculately clean and dusted H2 in my neighborhood.  And don’t place 26″ wheels on it, you look like a Dumas.

26″ wheels.. right, that’s necesssary in suburbia: