World’s slowest new car not that smart

I have owned a fair share of cars (so far) in my lifetime, including a few Chevy Camaros, Lincoln Towncar & Continental, Dodge Magnum, and more.  Since I have liked every car that I have owned, including the one that caught fire, I’m too smart to ever be caught driving a Smart.

While driving home one day I saw a small car.  I mean small.  I thought that I was in Europe or maybe a couple Mini Coopers got together and had a retarded midget child.  Having my camera with me and not caring about traffic around me (it’s Southern California, nobody drives safely anyway) the paparazzi in my came out. 

The Smart has been in the news for a while, though not headline news, there are several articles about it and it has been written about in several car magazines.  Well I’m here to tell you that after reading about this car, I’m less than impressed and pretty sure that the only purpose of this car is to decrease the human population or just for the entertainment of others to look upon.

Some of the more interesting facts about this “Smart” car, the ForTwo are:

• only 8.8 feet long makes this car shorter than a Mini Cooper by almost 2 feet
• 5.1 feet tall means that even a short woman can still reach the top to wash the car
• 5.1 feet wide means the car looks like a rectangle
• 0-60 MPH in 15.5 seconds would make you feel like the guy using the walker in Office Space movie intro is kicking your butt
• with a top speed of 90 MPH, it goes fast, but I think that speed is only when being towed

I’m not sure what I would expect from a previous manufacturer of watches, Swatch.  Honestly, the car could probably fit on someone’s wrist.  I’m just seeing some Jetson’s cartoon action happening where George pushes a button and the Smart TwoFor bounces from his wrist and starts unfolding.

There are more pictures of this car over at RetardMedia.