I had an idiot friend in high school who’s pet rattlesnake got loose in his room and he went looking for it with pillows wrapped around his legs and a mop. This guy is even dumber than Paul, who went on to wash cars for a living…
Mark Voegel, 30, was found dead in his Dortmund, Germany apartment. His body was draped in spider webs and more than 200 spiders, several snakes, thousands of termites, and a gecko were feasting on his corpse.
Proper authorities were alerted when concerned neighbours noticed a horrendous stench eminating from the apartment.
His black widow, Bettina, is believed to have administered the deadly bite.
Voeger’s apartment has been described as both a “zoo” and a “jungle” by authorities. He never let people visit.
A police spokesman said: “It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa. Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth. There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles. Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.”
The spiders and termites managed to escape when the heating elements exploded and opened the lids to their tanks.
The lizards were allowed to roam.
Voegel also kept a pet boa constricter and several poisonous frogs.
He was dead for somewhere between seven and fourteen days when his corpse was found. Enough time for the creepy-crawlies to make a new home out of his apartment.