If you can’t stop smile as you go under

Sometimes people who drive horribly encourage road rage.  Road rage is like roid rage, only without the steroids or homeruns or dead family members (we’ll miss you Benoit).  Though I’m not usually the kind to have road rage, I am not immune to it or it’s effects.  Now though, I have parking lot rage.

Parking lot rage, like road rage, occurs because someone does something with their vehicle that illicits a negative emotion.  You have definitely come in contact with some vehicle that causes parking lot rage.  How about the old woman that parks so bleading-close to the white boundary line that you know she door dinged your car when she opened her door to get out?  The guy with a Mercedes that parks in two spots, near the front of the store, trying not to get a door ding?  Someone that parks so crooked you could swear they were cockeyed?

While shopping for shoes at Payless (ya, I’m broke and buy cheap stuff) for a replacement of the laces for my duck taped Reeboks (thank the homeless for giving me shoes) I got to experience a parking lot rage that shouldn’t have actually bothered me since my bicycle with training wheels wasn’t affected.

Welcome to Retard Zone you squirrel.

I guess parking in four spots is pretty retarded.

Why not just run over the tree while you are at it?

Nice aligning the truck in the spot, couldn’t get closer to the line without going over?

I’m guessing that God wanted you to park like crap.  Nice license plate frame though.

You do have a big truck.. I’m wondering if you could see over the steering wheel to see the road.

Well that was close to sticking in your own spot.  When I say close, I mean you suck.

Nice view from the front.  Oh wait, that’s not part of the parking lot your tire is on…

that’s one of God’s plants that you have decided to destroy.  Heathen.