FOND DU LAC, Wisconsin — It’s possible that the world’s largest toilet paper prank is in the making, and though we few and proud at Retard Zone are known for pranks, this isn’t our doing.
Fond du Lac County Executive Allen Buechel said someone has been repeatedly stealing toilet paper from the men’s public bathrooms at the Fond du Lac City County Government Center since June. Unfortunately it appears that the Fond du Lac City police department aren’t as smart as the thief.
Buechel suspects the person comes in once or twice a week around midday and gets about six rolls a week from dispensers. Some rolls weren’t even full, he said. The thefts haven’t been a big loss. “We don’t buy the best toilet paper,” Buechel said.
He expects the thief to get caught. “Someone is going to walk in on him when he’s doing it and we’ll catch him,” he said. Courthouse officials are on the lookout for suspicious activity. County sheriff Capt. Dean Will didn’t return a call for comment Friday.
Though I can tell you what’s happening here, as I’ve been planning the big toilet paper caper since 4th grade (it was a long couple years, I had the time to plan things). The toilet paper will wind up decorating trees throughout a few neighborhoods, making it sort of look like Christmas time, only if snow were toilet paper. As we all know, there a 1,001 uses for toilet paper.
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