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Top 10 reasons Dumbledore was gay

Top 10 reasons Dumbledore was gayAuthor JK Rowling recently revealed that beloved wizard school master Dumbledore was gay. This stunned most of the world, but there were signs all along and we break down the top 10 reasons we should have known all along.

1. Author’s Agenda
What better way for a liberal author to influence millions of young impressionable children than to have them unknowingly idolize a gay person. What else would make kids see that sort of thing as normal as to have their beloved father figure slash imaginary friend be a fudge tunneler.
dumbledore gay
2. Dumbledore Was a Priest
Catholic priest, magic priest – it doesn’t matter a certain number of priests see Harry Potter and think Jessica Biel. Dumbledore was probably sent from magic religious school to school by magic bishops who didn’t want things public. Never leave your kids alone with priests, grown men don’t like hanging out with other people’s kids.
dumbledore gay
3. Wore Very, Very Gay Clothes
Come on for god’s sake what straight man wears ruffles and flamboyant purple dress like outfits that would make Liberace green with envy. Short of walking around with a sign that says I’m gay or opening a bed and breakfast at Hogwarts the signs were there.
dumbledore gay
4. Magic Was Only a Metaphor
The whole magic thing could have all just been a metaphor, little boys playing with their wands all day – with instruction on how to handle them. The whole subject of magic could have all been a metaphor for child abuse that the young boy Harry tried to rationalize trips to his uncle Dumbledore in terms his little mind could handle.
dumbledore gay
5. School Was to be Kept a Secret
Harry Potter was instructed to keep the whole school a secret from his everyone, was a sure sign of something funny was going on there.
dumbledore gay
6. He Was British
Two world wars removed the more aggressive males from the gene pool. Sixty plus years of a nanny state have robbed the former empire of it’s more aggressive social attitudes, who feel more guilt than pride over their nation’s impressive history. And face it the British act kinda gay to begin with.
dumbledore gay
7. Hired Only Ugly Women
Dumbledore ran the school and hired some of the least attractive women to be on film, short of anything starring Whoopi Goldberg. The poor impressionable kids were surrounded by some of the ugliest women teachers imaginable. No boy was likely to have a formative crush on one of these she beasts. Straight men will in control of hiring will at least a few good looking women to look at regardless of talent.
dumbledore gay
8. Took an Unseemly Interest in Harry
This old perv couldn’t keep his eyes off Harry Potter, you never saw him paying attention to any of the girl students. This old guy couldn’t spend enough time gazing longingly at Harry Potter.
dumbledore gay
9. Always Making Flamboyant Gestures
Dumbledore was repeatedly making very flamboyant hand gestures and kept a flaming bird as a pet.
dumbledore gay
10. Unmarried Old Guy With no Women
This old guy was never seen hanging out with women of any shape or description on his personal time. No women in his life at this age either makes you a priest (which he was to an extent) or the flamboyant older uncle that never married.
dumbledore gay

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

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8 Responses to “Top 10 reasons Dumbledore was gay”

  1. […] Retard Zone wrote an interesting post today on Top 10 reasons Dumbledore was gayHere’s a quick excerpt[ Top 10 reasons Dumbledore was gay]Author JK Rowling recently revealed that beloved wizard school master Dumbledore was gay. This stunned most of the world, but there were signs all along and we break down the top 10 reasons we should have known all along. 1. Author’s Agenda What better way for a liberal author to influence millions of young […]

  2. He is gay, oh well. Get over it.

    Ray on 02 Dec 2007 at 10:30 pm
  3. I tried to but now I am strangely attracted to my Dumbledore lunch box and feel kind of guilty about it.

    Jerome on 05 Dec 2007 at 1:48 pm
  4. ur mom’s gay u gay guys

    some gay dude on 05 Oct 2009 at 9:13 am
  5. gay gay gay is that all u talk about u freaking gay guys

    some other gay guy on 05 Oct 2009 at 9:15 am
  6. ur the freaking gayest guy ever u stupid pos sob fpos mfpos freaking ****gots
    gay guy coming right up hes gonn post

    the last gay guy on 05 Oct 2009 at 9:17 am
  7. yea ur right im not gay but i k now u are u sob u aswipe and ur a boy toy u gay guy

    asdf on 05 Oct 2009 at 9:20 am
  8. ur gay ur gay ur momma says ur gay u gay **** heads bo give ur self a bj

    fafghghsjghgf on 05 Oct 2009 at 9:23 am
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