Retarded Halloween office party

This year’s first annual retardzone staff Halloween celebration was appropriately retarded. Although Halloween is now being banned in some school districts where it offends Muslims it is quite literally the last politically correct holiday remaining. I did my best to set this one last acceptable holiday back to getting even it banned.

Costume Contest: We decided to figure out who had the most retarded costume…

Mine was far and a way the more offensive of the two.

My first thought was this is cool, but not offensive enough.

Zombie mask was terrifying, but cost eighty bucks and would require more of a body outfit. Plus it was really hard to breath in, and we’d be wearing our costumes all day long.

Mike finds a good meaty mask that should scare small children, including me.

I’ve always wanted to have a pair of these for my very own…

It’s beginning to look a lot like something… The big spider was a cool touch, but the webbing made the office.

Testing the fog machine. The good news is that it did not activate the fire sprinklers - which is a good thing and kept us from getting fired for the time being.

You can never have enough spider webs, you kind of had to limbo to get through the door - but we need the exercise.

Receptionist desk decorated just for fun, it’s next door so we had to upgrade the neighborhood.

We totally won the company halloween decoration contest. True no one else entered, but like corrupt government contracts they are the most fun to win.

She’s a witch! At first she was a little frightened but she’s a good sport.

And I got my first action of the day!

Mike with a the good looking but semi retarded blond girl who can’t park.

Chicks just can’t keep their hands off me - playing effeminate or pretending to care is not necessary if you are going to be the female husband in the relationship.

This has to be the most offensive Halloween costume I could come up with…

At first she was shy but by morning she had come to terms with her new orientation, I think I have always been a lesbian trapped in a large man’s body.

The front of the building had so much smelly fog juice that the poor receptionist initially thought there was a fire. Fog juice kind of smells like burning soap, and leaves a bad taste in your mouth and a funny smell to your clothes. Definitely not an everyday thing - but we do have enough fog juice to turn it on once a month at least.