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Kids getting high on poop

Poop drugsUrine and poop aren’t just for tasteless pranks anymore. Kids need only a soda bottle and a balloon to converted sewage into a hallucinogenic drug. This has all the hallmarks of a good internet prank so local police might want to wait before going out and breaking up poop labs.

We’re not sure what they’re inhaling down in Collier County, Florida, but here’s the bizarre “information bulletin” prepared by the local sheriff’s intelligence bureau about a purported “new drug” favored by the kids. It’s an inhalant called “Jenkem,” and causes hallucinations and a “euphoric high.” Of course, as the bulletin notes, Jenkem users dislike its sewagey taste, which can last for days. That’s because Jenkem’s active ingredients are urine and fecal matter, hence its street names like “Butthash” and “Fruit from Crack Pipe.” We’ve tried to speak with the bulletin’s author, Lieutenant Al Ganich, but he has not returned TSG calls. Perhaps he’s realized that his “CONFIDENTIAL” September 26 report–which is authentic, according to a sheriff’s official–may be itself full of crap.

The story sure looks like a prank in of itself – but on the plus side I got to say poop.

Poop drugs

On 09119/07 (‘p1. Disarro received and email from a concerned parent regarding a new drug called “Jenkem”. The parent advised their child learned about this drug through various conversations with several students at Palmetto Ridge High.
Jenkeni originated in Africa and other third world countries by fermenting raw sewage to create a gas which is inhaled to achieve a high. Jenkem is now a popular drug in American Schools.

Jenkeni is a homemade substance which consists of fecal matter and urine. The fecal matter and urine are placed in a bottle or jar and covered most commonly with a balloon. The container is then placed in a sunny area for several hours or days until fermented. The contents olthe container will separate and release a gas, which is captured in the balloon. Inhaling the gas is said to have a euphoric high similar to ingesting cocaine but with strong hallucinations of times past.

Once ingested the onset of the high takes approximately 10 seconds with the most severe hallucinations happening in approximately 20 minutes. Several articles indicate that the stiject immediately passes out atler ingesting the gas then regains a magical/hallucinogenic state within seconds of regaining consciousness. The high has been described by subjects as a feeling of “being out of it” and talking to dead people. The feeling of being “out of it” may last for several hours or days.

All subjects who used the Jenkem disliked the taste of sewage in their mouth and
the tact that the taste continued for several days. -tt

Slang terms: Winnie, sh*t. Runners, Fruit from (‘rack Pipe, Leroy Jenkems. Ni iglit. I3utthash, and Waste.

Remember kids just say no to poop – then again it is recycling to hippies everywhere have got to be besides themselves – drugs and recycling in one product!

Happy Hippy

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Humor, News, Pranks, Retarded, Science

 

12 Responses to “Kids getting high on poop”

  1. […] I’m not sure what the evil is going to be, but I’m pretty sure that it will involve either extreme illness or potentially worse. The only negative I’m seeing is that natural selection doesn’t work as it should and these teens are able to grow up and repopulate, lowering the average IQ of society and later splitting into the lower species. At least they aren’t getting high on poop. […]

    Aqua Dots thinning the herd on 09 Nov 2007 at 12:12 pm
  2. HAHAHA

    “slang terms: Leroy jenkems” hahah

    robert on 02 Apr 2008 at 2:14 pm
  3. every ones doin it do it to.

    meep meep on 05 Apr 2008 at 1:42 pm
  4. you know i love my butthash so dont hate bitches

    angie on 14 Sep 2008 at 2:24 am
  5. This is like that southpark episode,,,,I’m cheesing my f-in balls off

    David Youngblood on 26 Feb 2009 at 9:38 pm
  6. what the f*** you are stupid as hell to actually smoke your own ****

    anonimis on 16 Mar 2009 at 6:37 am
  7. Now that’s just nasty..but interesting very berry interesting haha ha

    karin on 17 Jun 2011 at 10:15 am
  8. Great, now whenever the police pull you over, even if you are innocent, they can charge you with possession of your own crap.
    On a more serious note, why am I not surprised that people are so pathetically addicted to getting high that they will use their own ****… Humanity is really going somewhere…down the ****hole.

    Clarity on 19 Oct 2011 at 4:54 pm
  9. Officer Pigsly: We found some Jenkem during the cavity search… So we threw his ass in jail.

    Don’t think that will happen? Think again.

    Carl with K on 19 Oct 2011 at 4:57 pm
  10. It won’t be long before they bust down the stall doors on public restrooms and accusing us of brewing drugs. They will have to keep 24 hour surveillance on sewage treatment plants to stop kids from robbing them blind. Hey, that ****’s valuable now!

    Clarity on 19 Oct 2011 at 5:01 pm
  11. That really changes the meaning of getting high on your own ****….now don’t it!!

    shaun on 08 Mar 2012 at 9:14 pm
  12. […] When the former co-worker was caught stealing nobody knew that the person was a meth user. Of course not all Apple thieves are meth users, some are cocaine users too and others probably just use whatever is around (poop is a drug too). […]

    Drug users most likely to steal iPad on 15 Mar 2012 at 10:40 am
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