Aqua Dots thinning the herd

Once upon a time there was a teenager who had outgrown all toys and thought things purchased in the children’s department or toy stores was beneath them. Then came China with their wonderful manufacturing techniques, low wages, oppressive government, ill-will towards the United States, and patent disregard for workplace safety and environmental policies that would make Dick Chaney feel squeamish.. This is where the story begins but definitely not where it will end.

At first China was thought of to be a small and nearly powerless country, just laboring away making toys and electronics and clothing for other countries, all the while making relatively incredibly low wages and working endless hours. It was at some time during the last year that it seemed China was just like having an illegal immigrant working at your house, the labor was cheap and though the results weren’t spectacular, it was more than you were willing to do for yourself.

Then China recently started accidentally turning out products that were less than safe. Or actually, maybe it wasn’t accidental, and in a more scary thought, maybe it wasn’t that recent either.

Just because the lead paint monkeys (and Red Wagons, Thomas & Friends, pajamas, and many others) are not safe. And the cribs are dangerous. Well, I wouldn’t assume this to be an accident. Either China is plotting to take over by slowly poisoning and killing the United States, or maybe this is just what happens when the lowest price wins because American’s are cheap and won’t pay $2.99 when they can pay $1.42 for something. According to Kuma Gu who owns a factory putting out death toys “A lot of Chinese companies have a saying,” he said between drags on a cigarette. “Do you want to kill yourself? Then do business with Wal-Mart.”

Here at Retard Zone, it comes as no surprise that we found something retarded. The thing is that, well, we aren’t blaming China, we are blaming Americans. We blame you for buying cheap merchandise while requiring it even cheaper, for being willing to let your kids lick and ingest things they shouldn’t, for not paying attention to kids when they do things that they shouldn’t. Look at this as something more than product issues. How about, as Darwin’s natural selection weeding out the slower of the pack.

As for the Aqua Dot issue… one of my neighbors are teenagers who live in a house mommy and daddy bought and let them use (that way the parents don’t have to actually live with the kids). The teenagers are taking advantage of the Aqua Dot issue. Yes, taking advantage of it.

The teens went to Costco and purchased every last package of Aqua Dots they could find. When I saw a truck with dozens of the Aqua Dot boxes I asked if they were going to send them all back to the manufacturer, the response with sort of sinister. It was laughter. Apparently there is evil to be done and the teenagers plus Aqua Dots are the equation.

I’m not sure what the evil is going to be, but I’m pretty sure that it will involve either extreme illness or potentially worse. The only negative I’m seeing is that natural selection doesn’t work as it should and these teens are able to grow up and repopulate, lowering the average IQ of society and later splitting into the lower species. At least they aren’t getting high on poop.

If the only thing keeping you breathing is warning labels like this you should not have children and remove yourself from the gene pool immediately – technically you are walking human pollution…

Classic Saturday Night Live skit about unsafe products for children.

Back to the China recall stuff. If you’re interested in a list of the just some of the recalls…

Retro Toy Robot
About 2,600 “Collectable Toy Robots” are being recalled by Schylling Associates Inc., of Rowley, MA. The surface paint on these retro toy robots contain excessive levels of lead.Click here for more details about these recalled Chinese toys.

Dizzy Ducks Music Box
About 1,300 Dizzy Duck Music Box toys have been recalled by Schylling Associates Inc., of Rowley, MA. due to surface paints with lead violating the lead paint safety standards.Click here for more details about these recalled Chinese toys.

Spinning Top Recall
About 3,600 additional tops were recalled (66,000 were recalled in August) by Schylling Associates Inc., of Rowley, MA. The surface paint on these children’s toys contain excessive levels of lead.Click here for more details about these recalled Chinese toys.

Dragster and Funny Car Toy Cars
About 7,500 toy cars (similar to Hot Wheels, but a different brand) have been recalled by International Sourcing Ltd of Springfield, MO. The surface paint on these toy cars contain levels of lead in excess of federal lead paint standards.Click here for more details about these recalled toy cars made in China.

Big Red Wagons
Northern Tool & Equipment Company of Burnsville, MN has recalled about 7,200 “Big Red” wagons due to surface paint containing excessive levels of lead, violating federal standards.Click here for more details about these recalled toy wagons made in China.

Imitation Pearl Beads Sold with Girl’s Gift Sets
About 4,000 decorative pearl-like bead attachments sold with Girl’s gift sets called “Sparkle By Too” from Tween Brands Inc., of New Albany, OH have been recalled due to surface coating that contains excessive levels of lead. These pearl-like bead attachments were pink and came on the outside packaging of the gift sets, and a zipper wrist band on a cosmetic lip gloss set.Click here for more details about these recalled Chinese toy sets.

Galaxy Warriors Toy Figures
About 380,000 “Galaxy Warriors” toys have been recalled by Henry Gordy International, Inc., of Plainfield, NJ. These toy action figures are posable spacemen and were sold in various colors. The paint used to create these colors exceeds federal US lead safety standards. They were made in China. Click here for more details and pictures of the recalled action figures.

Ribbit Board Games
SimplyFun has recalled 1,500 Ribbit board games due to the five frog-shamped wodden pieces containing excessive levels of lead surface paint. They were made in China. Click here for more details and pictures of the recalled gardening toys.

Toys “R” Us Recalls Elite Operations Toys
Toys “R” Us has recalled about 16,000 Elite Operations military toys manufactured by Toy World Group, Ltd. and Chun Tat Toys Factory Limited of China. The toys contain surface coatings with excessive levelsof lead.Click here for more details and pictures of the recalled gardening toys.

Halloween Ugly Teeth Recall
The worst thing about this particular recalled Halloween toy is that kids are actually supposed to put them in their mouths. Who thought it was a good idea to put lead surface paint on something children put into the mouths? Click here for more details and pictures of the recalled gardening toys.

More garden Tools Recalled by Jo-Ann Fabrics
In addition to the 16,000 toy rakes and 6,000 toy watering cans recalled in August and September, Jo-Ann Fabric stores of Hudson, OH is recalling about 97,000 more children’s toy gardening tools, including hoes, rakes, shovels and brushes. Click here for more details and pictures of the recalled gardening toys.

Orange and Yellow Diego Splashing Boats Recalled
Fisher Prices has recalled 38,000 more toys due to surface paint levels in excess of Federal standards. These are orange and yellow boats that squirt water with cartoon character Diego in the driver’s seat. Click here for more details and pictures of the recalled toys.

Shrek and Spiderman Flashing Rings
About 110,000 units of children’s jewelry are being recalled due to excessive lead levels. These were imported by Weglow Children’s Metal Jewelry and include Flashing rings that resemble Shrek the Third, and Spiderman cartoon and movie characters. Click here for more details and pictures of the recalled rings.

Children’s Jewelry Recall by Dollar Store
About 200,000 units are being recalled because this jewelry for little girls contains high levels of lead. The recall includes Beary Cute, Expressions, and Sassy & Chic Children’s jewelry. Click here for more details and pictures of the recalled jewelry.

Purple Halloween Pails With Witch
About 142,000 Halloween candy pails have been recalled by the CPSC and Family Dollar Stores due to violation of the federal lead paint standard. Click here for more details and pictures of the recalled pails.

Plastic Animal and Dinosaur Toys from Wal-Mart
After conducting its own lead testing on toys, Wal-Mart found these small, plastic farm animals, jungle animals and dinosaur toys to contain excessive levels of lead in surface paint. See “related images” on the right side of this Wal-Mart press release for pictures, or the page for more information. And thank you Casey for bringing this one to our attention.

Plastic Halloween Skull Pails
The surface paint on the eyes, nose and teeth of these 55,000 plastic skull pails sold by Albert’s this year contains levels of lead in excess of the federal lead paint standard. Click here for more details and pictures of the recalled item.

Winnie-the-Pooh Play Sets
These Winnie-the-Poo play sets by Disney and sold at JC Penney were recalled due to a violation of lead paint standards. The recall involves about 49,000 units. They were made in China. Click here for more information and photos.

Bendable Dinosaur Toys
These Bendable Dinosaur Toys by Kipp Brothers, of Carmel, IN have been recalled due to excessive lead paint levels. The recall involves about 10,000 units. They were made in China. Click here for more information and photos.

Kidnastics Balance Beams
These balance beams for kids by Flaghouse Inc., of Hasbrouck Heights, N.J. have been recalled due to excessive lead paint levels. The recall involves about 2,400 units made in Taiwan. Click here for more information and photos.

Baby Einstein Color Blocks
These Kids II Baby Einstein Color Blocks were recalled due to a violation of lead paint standards. The recall involves about 35,000 units. They were made in China. Click here for more information and photos.

Children’s Decorating Sets from Toys “R” Us
These decorating sets for kids were sold exclusively at Toys “R” Us, and Manufactured by CKI Toys in China. The recall includes about 15,000 sets. Click here for more information and photos.

Cub Scouts Totem Badges
These cub scout badges were recalled by Kahoot Products, Inc. of Roswell, GA due to lead paint standard violations. The recall involves about 1.6 million badges. They were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Bookmarks and Journals
These journals and bookmarks from Antioch Publishing of Yellow Springs, OH were recalled due to lead poisoning hazards. The recall involves about 150,000 units. They were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures.

Dollar General Key Chains
These metal keychains from Dollar General Merchandising, Inc., of Goodlettsville, TN were recalled due to high levels of lead. The recall involves about 192,000 key chains. They were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures.

KB Toys Wooden Kids Toys
These wooden toys for children were recalled by KB Toys of Pittsfield, MA due to high levels of lead. The recall involves about 10,000 toys made in China. Click here for more information and pictures.

Tumblers (baby and toddler cups)
These tumblers from Dollar General Merchandising, Inc., of Goodlettsville, TN were recalled due to lead paint standard violations. The recall involves about 63,000 units. They were made in China. Click here for more information and photos.

Eveready Toy Flashlights
These Eveready Battery operated toy flashlights were recalled due to lead paint standard violations. The recall involves about 79,000 units. They were made in China. Click here for more information and photos.

Children’s Metal Jewelry
These various pieces of TOBY & ME metal jewelry for children by TOBY N.Y.C. of New York, NY were recalled due to lead paint standard violations. The recall involves about 23,500 pieces of jewelry. They were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures of the recalled jewelry.

Knights of The Sword
About 800 of Britain’s “Knights of The Sword” series toys were recalled due to excessive levels of lead in the surface paint. The toys were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures of the recalled toys.

Target Children’s Gardening Tools and Chairs
Made in China, these gardening toys and chairs for kids may contain excessive levels of lead in the surface paint. About 350,000 units have been recalled. Click here for more information and pictures of the recalled items.

Spinning Wheel Metal Necklaces
These children’s spinning wheel-metal necklaces were recalled by Rhode Island Novelty of Cumberland, RI due to lead paint standard violations. The recall involves about 800 units made in China. Click here for more information and images of the product.

Fisher-Price Bongo Band Toys
These musical instruments for kids by Fisher Price, were recalled due to high levels of lead. The recall involves about 8,900 toy bongos from China. Click here for more information and images of the recalled toys.

Fisher-Price Geo Trax Locomotives
These Geo Trax Locomotive Toys by Fisher Price, were recalled due to high levels of lead. The recall involves about 90,000 toys from China. Click here for more info and images.

Barbie Accessories by Mattel
Various Barbie accessories were recalled by Mattel due to potential lead poisoning hazards. The recall involves about 675,000 Chinese made toys. Click here for more information and pictures of the toys.

Wooden Coloring Cases
These Wooden cases with coloring instruments, such as crayons and pencils, were recalled by Toys “R” Us Inc., of Wayne, NJ due to high levels of lead. The recall involves about 27,000 units from China. Click here for more information and images of the products.

Watering Cans for Children
These children’s watering cans were sold exclusively at Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft Stores and were recalled due to lead paint ban violations. The recall involves about 6,000 units. They were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Guidecraft Puppet Theaters
These puppet theaters for children were recalled due to lead paint ban violations. The recall involves about 10,000 units. They were made in China. Click here for more information and images of the toys.

Toy Rakes
These toy rakes were sold exclusively at Jo-Ann Fabric and have been recalled due to excessive suface paint containing lead on the handle of the rake. The recall involves about 16,000 units. They were made in China. Click here for more information and images of the rakes.

SpongeBob SquarePants Address Books and Journal
These SpongeBob Square Pants Character address books and journals were recalled by Martin Designs, Inc. of Ashland, OH due to lead poisoning hazards. The recall involves about 250,000 units. They were produced in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Divine Inspiration Charm Bracelets
These children’s charm bracelets from Buy-Rite Designs Inc., of Freehold, N.J. were recalled due to lead poisoning hazards. The recall involves about 7,900 units. They were produced in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Original TOBY and ME Metal Jewelry Recall
This children’s’ jewelry set recall was expanded (see above), but originally included only 14,000 units that were recalled due to lead poisoning hazards. They were produced in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Various Characters From Fisher Price
This was one of the first major toy recalls to gain media attention from the “big networks” and involved high levels of lead paint used on Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer and other children’s toys. The recall involves almost one-million toys made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Children’s Earrings Sold at Wal-Mart Stores in Florida
This ear rings were recalled by Uncas Manufacturing Co. of Providence, RI and were sold at Wal-Mart stores in Florida during early 2007. They were recalled due to lead poisoning hazards. They were produced in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Future Industries Metal Jewelry
These children’s jewelry sets by Future Industries of Cliffwood Beach, NJ were recalled due to lead poisoning hazards. The recall involves about 20,000 units and were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Children’s Necklaces by GeoCentral
These children’s necklaces by GeoCentral of Napa, CA were recalled due to lead poisoning hazards. The recall involves about 19,000 units that were produced in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Tween Brand Jewelry Sold at Limited Too
These jewelry pieces from Tween Brands, Inc., of New Albany, OH were sold at Limited Too and have been recalled due to lead poisoning standard violations. The recall involves about 103,000 pieces that were produced in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Troy-Bilt Children’s Gardening Gloves
These Children’s Gardening Gloves by MTD Products, Inc., of Valley City, OH were sold at Limited Too and have been recalled due to lead poisoning standard violations. The recall involves only 80 units. They were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Children’s Rings
These Children’s rings by Cardinal Distributing CO. Inc., of Baltimore, MD are recalled due to lead poisoning standard violations. The recall involves about 300,000 rings. They were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Children’s Necklaces, Bracelets and Rings
Various pieces of jewelry amounting to about 200,000 units were recalled by Spandrel Sales and Marketing Inc., of Tempe, AZ due to high levels of lead. The jewelry was made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Rings from Cardinal Distributing
About 200 rings were recalled by Cardinal Distributing CO. Inc., of Baltimore, MD due to high levels of lead. The rings were made in India. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Children’s Necklaces by Oriental Trading Company
These children’s necklaces by Oriental Trading Company Inc., of Omaha, NE were recalled due to lead poisoning hazards. The recall involves about 132,000 units that were produced in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Necklaces and Charm Bracelets
These Children’s necklaces and charms by Cardinal Distributing Co., of Baltimore, MD were recalled due to violation of lead safety standards. The recall involves about 900,000 units that were made in India. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Huge Children’s Bracelet Recall
This jewelry was recalled by A&A Global Industries of Cockeysville, MD due to violation of lead safety standards. The recall involves about four-million bracelets made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Dollar General Key Chains
These keychains from Dollar General Merchandizing, Inc. of Goodlettsville, TN were recalled due to violation of lead safety protocols. The recall involves about 396,000 metal key chains produced in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Claire’s Children’s’ Necklaces
These necklaces for children sold exclusively by Claire’s Boutiques Inc., of Hoffman Estates, IL were recalled potential lead poisoning hazards. The recall involves about 58,000 necklaces that were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Necklaces at Accessories Palace
These children’s necklaces sold exclusively at Accessories Palace were recalled by the CPSC and United Imports Inc., of Flushing, NY due to violation of lead safety standards. They were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Boys Jackets
These boys’ heavyweight jackets by Samara Brothers LLC, of New York, NY were recalled due to violation of lead safety standards. The recall involves about 8,000 units that were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

DM Merchandising Bracelets
About 86,400 bracelets were recalled by DM Merchandising Inc., of Elmhurst IL due to violation of lead safety standards. They were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Rachael Rose Kidz Rings
These children’s rings by Shalom International Corp., of New York, NY were recalled due to violation of lead safety standards. The recall involves about 280,000 units that were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Butterfly Necklaces
These butterfly necklaces from U.S. Toys Co. Inc., of Grandview, MO were recalled due to violation of lead safety standards. The recall involves about 113,800 units that were made in China. This is an expansion of an earlier recall. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Powerpuff Girls Necklaces
These Powerpuff Girls necklaces by Rhode Island Novelty, of Cumberland, RI were recalled due to violation of lead safety standards. The recall involves about 48,000 units and were produced in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Cars Movie Toy Chests
These toy chests with pictures from the kids movie “Cars” were sold at Toys “R” Us and made by Delta Enterprise Corp., of New York, NY. They were recalled due to lead poisoning hazard. The recall involves about 3,000 units that were manufactured in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Juicy Couture Children’s Jewelry
These various jewelry items from Liz Claiborne Inc., of North Bergen, NJ were recalled due to violation of lead safety standards and involves about 2,800 units that were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Reebok Bracelets – Death Involved
In late March Reebok recalled about 300,000 of their Heart-Shaped Charm Bracelets after receiving a report of a death possibly caused by lead poisoning of a 4-year-old child in Minneapolis, MN after the child swallowed a piece from one of the now recalled Reebok bracelets. Reebok had these bracelets manufactured in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Beaded Photo Charm Bracelet
These metal charm bracelets imported by Oriental Trading Company Inc., of Omaha, NE were recalled due to violation of lead safety standards. The recall involves about 25,000 units that were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.

Art Accentz Changlz Charms
These metal charms imported by Provo Craft and Novelty Inc., of Spanish Fork, UT were recalled due to lead poisoning hazards to children. The recall involves about 29,000 units that were made in China. Click here for more information and pictures from the CPSC.