Adopt a pet and satisfy an appetite

I don’t much like spam. I know, you all would agree with me and say that you get a lot of spam and don’t like it either. The difference is that one of my menial jobs is to go through pre-classified spam for executives of the company I work at and verify that the emails marked as spam are really spam. So what would you do if you just kept reading through spam? Have a little fun with it.. me too.

One of the spam messages was from "James Shearman". It seems that James is having some problems with his latest trip to Africa, as his email subject line reads "Christmas English Bulldog and Yorkshire Terrier for adoption". Since the boredom with email spam monotony has overtaken my willingness to continue just doing my job, I decided it was time to have a little fun.

The first step was to find a reason to reply to this email, which was a unique and different approach to spam/scam. The sender of the email is claiming to have puppies that require adoption because of his inability to keep them and work at the church. So I thought about how to disturb even the craziest of spammers in order to get a response. It came to me when I was about to get a bite to eat… yes, you guessed it: what if I hinted toward eating the dogs.

Before animal activists say something — you never know until you try it

So I started the process to email a reply, showing interest in funding this animal-shipping scam while adding in some pretty awkward parts.

First thing is first, need to get an email address. Of course I could choose some anonymous name, but why not have fun with this too:

(I’m my own best audience, I laughed just making this account up)

Now that the account is setup, I need to write a reply to the email. I thought it would be best to actually take a screen shot of the sent message just so that people could see that I sent the message and didn’t just talk about making it.

So the content of my reply followed by the original message follows:

************************

James,

I can not tell you how excited I was to receive your email! I can not find many people willing to "adopt" out their animals to me. Especially the AKC with papers, mostly because of their extra-cared for upbringing.

Please tell me how much you are asking for the shipping for the animals and if they are a little fat or if they will require a little fattening before they are ready.

Methods of payment will also be appreciated to know.

Greetings,

Eets

—– Original Message —-
From: James Shearman <jamesshearmapets@yahoo.com>
To: undisclosed-recipients
Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2007 4:20:42 PM
Subject: Christmas English Bulldog and Yorkshire Terrier for adoption

Goodday,

I am Rev James Shearman and I am emailing regarding my English Bulldog and Yorkshire Terrier puppy for adoption.I live in jacksonville,FL in the USA, but right now I’m in West Africa for a missionary transfer from my church and I have the puppies right here with me… I am giving these pups away on adoption because of the bad weather condition and also there’s no body to pay proper attention to the them while I’m busy in the church.

They are in there perfect state of health, AKC registered and shots are given up to date, house and Potty Trained. They both love toys and perfect with kids.

All papers will accompany the puppies.

I am giving them out on adoption for free but you’ll have to pay for the shipping of the pup to you.The pup(s) will be shipped to you via Express Delivery on next day after payment has been made by you to the shipping agent.So if you are interested in adopting any of the pups, or both, Please get by to me by email.

I am giving my babies out on adoption mainly because of the bad weather condition and also there’s no body to take proper care of the pup cos i’m always busy in the church. So if interested, I would want you to promise me that you’ll take perfect care of the pup with love and attention.

Reply via email if interested.

Thanks and God bless.

James.

***************************

As for the Internet Headers (ya, I’m a geek and check those out too) they are:
Received: from death.retardzone.com ([10.10.10.15]) by reaper.retardzone.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.211);
Tue, 27 Nov 2007 16:34:15 -0800
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for <me>; Tue, 27 Nov 2007 16:30:16 -0800 (PST)
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Received: from [127.0.0.1] (port=33394 helo=localhost)
by host2.zerowebhosting.net with esmtpa (Exim 4.63)
(envelope-from <jamesshearmapets@yahoo.com>)
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(Horde MIME library) with HTTP; Tue, 27 Nov 2007 19:20:14 -0500
Message-ID: <20071127192014.5nufbx1vcw4ww4s8@industrialprophets.com>
Date: Tue, 27 Nov 2007 19:20:14 -0500
From: James Shearman <jamesshearmapets@yahoo.com>
Reply-To: jameshearman@yahoo.com
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: Christmas English Bulldog and Yorkshire Terrier for adoption
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset=ISO-8859-1;
DelSp="Yes";
format="flowed"
Content-Disposition: inline
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
User-Agent: Internet Messaging Program (IMP) H3 (4.1.3)

I’m not sure if I will receive a reply but if I do, I will update this post to show whatever and wherever it goes.

And for those of you that think that animal consumption is entirely too serious and overlooked, here’s some facts to make all of you hippies happy:

3.5 billion
The number of fur-bearing animals that are killed each year by trappers in the United States.

2.7 million
The number of animals that are harvested on United States fur farms annually.

$5 billion
The amount of U.S. tax dollars that are put towards animal experiments every year.

70 million
The number if animals that are killed in U.S. laboratories each year.

10 billion
The number of animals that are slaughtered for consumption annually in the United States.

200 million
The number of animals that are killed each year on U.S. federal land alone.

5%
The percentage of households in the U.K. that claimed in 2004 to contain at least one vegetarian family member.

6%
The percentage of households in the U.K. that contained at least one person who did not eat meat, but did eat fish, in 2004.

2.5%
The percentage of adults in the U.S. that are vegetarians, meaning they eat no meat.

2%
The percentage of children in the U.S. ages 6-17 that are vegetarians, meaning they eat no meat whatsoever.

1 in 200
The number of kids in the United States that are vegans, meaning they eat neither meat nor animal products.

20
The number of pure vegetarians who can be fed on the amount of land needed to feed 1 person consuming a meat-based diet.
(Source)