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Speed Racer movie looks craptastic

Speed RacerMovies being converted from cartoon to big screen films are pretty hit and miss. Speed Racer comes out May of 2008 but you can see the trailer here, and save ten bucks. I always liked speed racer and always call anyone hurrying by that name but based on what I see in the trailer I have serious reservations about seeing this one.

I hope that I’m wrong and it’s a fun movie but take a look at the evidence carefully and be sure to read the reviews carefully first. This could turn out to be another craptastrophe like The Incredible Hulk, Dick Tracy, or Batman and Robin.

Movie Trailer…

First Look at…

Movie Stills…Speed Racer
Fred Flintstone here could ruin the film single handedly.

Speed Racer
At least the car looks vintage cool.

Speed Racer
Why is the guy wearing a McDonald’s hat – wait if this moron blows a 150 million dollar film at least he’s already got the hat for his new job.

Speed Racer
Christina Ricci doing her Isabella Rossellini impression.

Speed Racer
Mathew Fox from Lost could lose the audience with this fight scene alone. Look out criminals the ambiguously gay duo are on the big screen.
Speed Racer
When graphics from video games look more realistic than the movie you’ve got some serious issues. Wakowski brothers ruined the Matrix with ridiculous CGI and I’m hoping they don’t do it again.

Speed Racer
Wow, just wow – this is amazingly realistic looking… I can see the Purple Teletubbie beating him though around the giant orange building from The Little Mermaid.

Speed Racer
When your script stinks bring out the chimp, at least better looking than the 70 year old Susan Sarandon.

Speed Racer
And we’re off… To go see something else next summer. Let’s go see something with more believable special effects like, oh I don’t know the Strawberry Shortcake Trilogy from the Wakowski brothers, coming May of 2009 – don’t miss it.

Again, I really hope they do a decent job with the film I am just really skeptical at this point and will go watch the Flintstones on channel 278 if I am tempted to go watch this without seeing at least a B+ on yahoo movies.

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Entertainment, Humor

 

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