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Reserve your ticket to heaven today

Ticket to HeavenIn what is the perfect Christmas present for yourself or friends who believe in the afterlife purchase your ticket to heaven online. Why bother doing any good deeds, or wasting your Sunday afternoons when you could be watching football or out doing something more fun. This online site offers a money back guaranteed all access pass to the pearly gates for only $24.95.

Sure religious groups are upset, and why wouldn’t they be – but act now supplies are limited. That song I’ve got two tickets to paradise isn’t just a lame classic rock song anymore it’s a sales pitch for the afterlife. A Seattle-based company is offering to hold a spot for you at the pearly gates, and it will even throw in a money-back guarantee. ReserveASpotInHeaven.com sells “travel kits”— complete with boarding passes, certificates and “Heaven 101” booklets — that offer the “chance to enjoy your sin-filled life” without consequence while lowering the “risk of eternal damnation.”
How it works
Here’s how it works…

The kits are intended to be gag gifts, but some critics don’t think there’s anything funny about getting into heaven.

The reservation packages have been a big hit this holiday season and sales have been brisk in the month since the company launched, according to the creators. The number of visitors to the site has gone from 80 the first day to a few thousand daily, they said.

“We don’t want people to take it seriously. It’s more of just a fun idea we came up with that we thought we’d turn into a novelty gift,” said Edgar Kim, 22, a retailer by day who started the business with his childhood friend Nate Davis, a 23-year-old product designer. “We’re not trying to offend anyone or anything like that.”

But they are offending some people, nonetheless. The company has been blanketed with a steady stream of hate e-mail, calls and message-board postings from those who find the site insulting.

“Your marketing of ‘tickets to Heaven’ is absolutely one of the most asinine things anyone could ever do; to disrespect something as sacred as Heaven and God’s grace,” one naysayer wrote to the company’s “comments” address.

“You are making a mockery of the salvation only God can guarantee us. … I am absolutely disgusted with your immoral conduct and hope God will have mercy on your soul.”

The site also drew angry responses from listeners when it was featured on Seattle’s KISS 106.1 FM. A woman named Amber who called in to the show railed against the concept.

“I think they’re basically securing themselves a first-class ticket to hell for doing that and mocking God,” she told the DJs. “Obviously, they don’t have a genuine relationship with God or know anything about Christianity, because they’re completely ruining it.”

About one out of every 10 e-mails that come in complains about the idea, he said; most mention the Bible. To date, no one has written in the name of Islam, Judaism or any other religion aside from Christianity, Kim said.

Reserve A Spot In Heaven has not received any complaints with the Better Business Bureau, according to a Seattle BBB representative. So far there are no reports of any unsatisfied customers although John Edwards is said to be doing market research for his next new show.

There are two packages available:

The Essential Travel Kit
So you want to go up? Well this basic travel package includes everything needed to transport one individual to Heaven. No more worrying about whether you will get in or not. This kit guarantees that you will.

Cheap Heaven Ticket

$12.79 – Supplies are limited

Includes:

  • Heavenly issued certificate of reservation with a unique I.D. number registered in the Book of Light™
  • A First class ticket to Heaven. Why walk those stairs when you can fly?
  • The Official Heaven Identification Card so you can get around without getting hassled.
  • Heaven 101 mini informational guide. Don’t be a victim of culture shock. Get acquainted with the land.

The All Access Travel Kit
This exclusive package contains all necessary materials to get you into Heaven and experience all of the elite areas that are normally off-limits to normal citizens. If you want the entire Heaven experience then this is your package.

First Class Heaven Ticket

$24.95 – Supplies are limited

Includes:

  • Heavenly issued certificate of reservation with a unique I.D. number registered in the Book of Light™
  • A First class ticket to Heaven. Why walk those stairs when you can fly?
  • The Official Heaven Identification Card so you can get around without getting hassled.
  • Heaven 101 mini informational guide. Don’t be a victim of culture shock. Get acquainted with the land..
  • All access VIP pass. This pass will grant you access to “VIP exclusive areas” including the Land of Milk and Honey, where all the elite get together and kick it.
  • Framing. Your ticket to Heaven and certificate of reservation will be nicely framed in an elegant casing. Frames may vary from the one pictured.

The site offers group discounts and there is a word that a Mormon version is to be made available with packages for the dearly departed.

Visit them online at Reserve a Spot in Heaven.com

The Site
Reserveaspotinheaven.com web site

On the plus side it doesn’t involve any poisoned kool aid, weekly offerings, people knocking on your door, doesn’t promote people blowing themselves up or killing each other and is guilt free. Which pretty much proves the site doesn’t qualify as a religion of any kind.

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Humor, Retarded

 

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