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The positive effects of global warming

90210Sure we might all be killed by global warming, and I seriously doubt paving over the rain forest with strip malls
is good for the long term health of the planet but lets try and look on the bright (and warmer) side of things. I’m a glass is half full kind of guy so lets all take a moment and try to focus on the postitive effects of global warming…

Better for the Economy

90210 GreenRoback found that heating degree days, total snowfall, and the number of cloudy days were positively correlated with wages, suggesting these are disamenities. As expected, the number of clear days was negatively correlated with wages. In her 1988 paper, she also found that the colder the winter (heating degree days), the higher the wages.

The DOT’s third conference on global climate change, referred to above, used differences in occupational wages among urban areas to estimate the value of climate to humans. One of the tables, presented by Ralph C. D’Arge (1974, p. 569) in his overview of the economic research, drew on the work of Irving Hoch to supply estimates of the costs and benefits of a 0.5deg.C warming. Hoch’s work (1974) implies that a rise in temperature would have bestowed on workers an implicit gain of $1.6 billion in 1971 dollars. In other words, adjusting for 1995’s level of wages and salaries and assuming that the temperature/wage relationship is linear, workers in 1995 would have been willing to accept about $47 billion less in wages for working in a 2.5deg.C warmer climate. to wages.

Department of Energy studies have shown that a warmer climate would reduce heating bills more than it would boost outlays on air conditioning. If we currently enjoyed the weather predicted for the end of the next century, expenditures for heating and cooling would be cut by about $12.2 billion annually.


Warmer Weather is Healthier

90210 Green From a purely evolutionary point of view, warm periods have always benefited plants and animals. The world has thrived during the warming periods between the ice ages. Cold periods have always caused serious survival problems for all organisms including mankind. Scientific studies show that there will be 40,000 fewer deaths each year in the U.S. In Britain alone, scientists estimate that about 30,000 deaths a year are related to cold winter weather. Warmer temperatures in the U.S. will reduce medical costs by about $20 billion every year.


More Usable Land For Farming & Housing:

90210 GreenAs the ice retreats to the poles, more arable land will become available for both residential and agricultural purposes. Large land-masses in the northern hemisphere, just south of the Canadian/U.S. border, have some very extreme climates that can be quite inhospitable for human habitation. Most Canadians live in a belt running along its southern border with the United States. But once global warming is factored in, vast northern regions will become arable and comfortably habitable. All of Canada will welcome an agricultural boon field with long growing seasons. Heretofore uninhabitable land will not only become inhabitable, but even temperate.
Satellite measurements now show that our planet has become greener than it was prior to the onset of global warming. The rising carbon dioxide concentrations in the atmosphere dramatically increases overall global food production. The presence of carbon dioxide has a fertilizing effect on the growth of plant life. The warmer weather means a longer growing season, and thus greater output. This, combined with fewer frosts and more precipitation, among other factors, will greatly benefit all of the agricultural economic sectors, plus the positive impacts on forestry and recreation. In addition to the dramatic increase of actual land available for cultivation, natural resources would be much easier to extract. The overall economic impact of global warming on the U.S. economy will actually be positive, creating a measurable increase in Gross Domestic Product.

The deserts of China received rains and were fertile 8,000 years ago, and this would be good news for China, since they need all the fertile land they can get, with their huge population. The arable land was also hundreds of miles further north into China than it is now. As well, those areas of India which are now deserts, were also rained on and fertile in those days, and that’s also good news, given how desperate hard up India is, being so poor and having such a huge population. Winters in the northern hemisphere will be milder.

So already we can see that Climate Change could very well prove to be good for Africa, China, and India. The results are mixed for Europe, but then they can always migrate north if someone can find the money in Europe to migrate people north, and the government can find the money to buy really poor people air conditioning so they won’t die by the tens or even hundreds of thousands every summer.


Carbon Dioxide Good for Plants

90210 GreenAccording to climatologists, the villain causing a warmer world is the unprecedented amount of carbon dioxide (CO2) we humans keep pumping into the atmosphere. But as high school biology students nationwide know, plants absorb carbon dioxide and emit oxygen. Researchers have shown that virtually all plants will do better in a CO2-rich environment than in the current atmosphere, which contains only trace amounts of their basic food.

Plants also prefer warmer winters and nights, and a warmer world would mean longer growing seasons. Combined with higher levels of CO2, plant life would become more vigorous, thus providing more food for animals and humans. Given a rising world population, longer growing seasons, greater rainfall, and an enriched atmosphere could be just the ticket to stave off famine and want.

Forests will expand northward into the current tundra regions. Although forest growth increases carbon dioxide uptake, this beneficial effect will be overwhelmed by the release of large stores of methane and carbon dioxide as tundra regions thaw.


Fewer Hurricanes

90210 GreenGlobal warming could increase a climate phenomenon known as wind shear that inhibits Atlantic hurricanes, a potentially positive result of climate change, according to new research released on Tuesday.

The study, to be published on Wednesday in Geophysical Research Letters, found that climate model simulations show a "robust increase" in wind shear in the tropical Atlantic during the 21st century from global warming.

Wind shear, a difference in wind speed or direction at different altitudes, tends to tear apart tropical cyclones, preventing nascent ones from growing and already-formed hurricanes from becoming the monster storms that cause the most damage.

The effect of global warming on wind shear is similar to the impact of El Nino, the periodic eastern Pacific warm-water phenomenon that tends to put a damper on Atlantic storms. The sudden development of El Nino was credited for an unexpectedly mild Atlantic season last year, when only 10 storms formed.


Reduced Transportation Costs

90210 GreenA fabled sea route above North America linking the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans has become a reality thanks to global warming. Scientists have confirmed that in August, Arctic sea ice shrank to its lowest levels since satellite measurements began monitoring the region nearly 30 years ago. One consequence of this is that the Northwest Passage has opened up much earlier than expected.

Fully navigable, the Northwest Passage will make the trip 4,000 miles shorter for ships traveling between Europe and Asia, allowing them to avoid the Panama Canal. The Passage was partially open for a time in 1998, but sailing a ship through at time would have been tricky, Serreze said.

Transportation generally would benefit from a warmer climate, since road travelers would suffer less from slippery or impassable highways. Airline passengers, who often endure weather-related delays in the winter, would gain from more reliable and on-time service.


Warmer Weather is Safer

90210 GreenWith most streets free from ice and snow, driving will be a lot safer; No need to shovel snow reducing the stress induced heart attacks; Heating bills will be drastically lower; No need to waste money on all of that cold weather gear. Rail, road and air transportation would be positively impacted by a general warming since weather-related delays and accidents would be greatly reduced. Department of Energy studies show that consumer energy bills would be reduced by over $12 billion each year.

Global warming will have no real effect, positive or negative, on economic activities such as manufacturing, retailing, wholesaling, banking, education and the majority of other businesses that are unrelated to cold weather. Of course cold weather activities, such as snow-sports, would be negatively affected.

Animals Thrive in Warm Climates

90210 GreenResearchers have shown, moreover, that virtually all plants will do better in an environment enriched with carbon dioxide than in the current atmosphere, which contains only trace amounts of their basic food. In addition, warmer winters and nights would mean longer growing seasons. Combined with higher levels of CO2, plant life would become more vigorous, thus providing more food for animals and humans. Given a rising world population, longer growing seasons, greater rainfall, and an enriched atmosphere could be just the ticket to stave off famine and want.

Researchers say the apparent north-south widening of the tropics amounts to 2 degrees of latitude or 140 miles. Animals in general thrive in warmer climates.

Fisheries experts credit global warming for unexpected salmon numbers.

Global warming will have no real effect, positive or negative, on economic activities such as manufacturing, retailing, wholesaling, banking, education and the majority of other businesses that are unrelated to cold weather. Of course cold weather activities, such as snow-sports, would be negatively affected.

Shorter Winters

90210 GreenMan-made global warming has caused spring weather to appear an average of 10 days earlier than the start of spring 30 years ago, according to a report released Monday by Stanford scientists. Baseball season could be expaned to included another half dozen games with an earlier spring althougth this could result in losing a football game so that would be a draw.

Shorter and more mild winters will mean less time spent indoors with the heater on getting cold, not exercising and feeling depressed. There will be a reduction in warm weather clothing and goods but women wearing less clothing and suffering from cabin fever
will be a huge plus.


Improved Beer Quality

90210 GreenOn July 31 a team of canny entrepreneurs unveiled Greenland Beer, an ale brewed with water melted from Greenland’s ice cap, at a public tasting in Copenhagen, Denmark.

Staffed by indigenous Greenlanders and located some 390 miles (625 kilometers) south of the Arctic Circle, Greenland Brewhouse is the world’s first Inuit microbrewery.

And if reaction from tipplers at the tasting was any indication, the brewers may be on to something. Electrician Flemming Larsen described the ale to the Associated Press as "smooth, soft, but not bitter … different from most other beer.



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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Environmental, Humor, Retarded


32 Responses to “The positive effects of global warming”

  1. there are a lot of negative points like we will all die

    Louisa on 13 Oct 2008 at 2:04 pm
  2. The warning weather allows longer growing seaseons in some colder regions
    Shiping cost in the northwest passage is cheaper!

    rebecca on 27 Nov 2008 at 9:57 am
  3. whatever…
    it still has more daunting effects than positive..
    the impending cataclysm is inevitable if its not alleviated

    concerned citizen on 15 Jan 2009 at 10:05 pm
  4. Global warming doesnt have any good points.

    tash on 25 Mar 2009 at 12:15 pm
  5. After listening to Global Warming’s seminar on the economy I would disagree tash, I belive Global Warming had many good points.

    Michael on 25 Mar 2009 at 4:10 pm
  6. i agree Michaeal. Obviously global warming does have many positive effects. And any of the negitive effects that come up happen so slowly that people can easily adapt to them. So if anything, it makes mankind stronger.

    Christin on 31 Mar 2009 at 10:52 am
  7. You are right Christin, long live the Darwinian theory!

    Michael on 01 Apr 2009 at 11:36 am
  8. I was surprised about the last positive effect. I mean are you serious?

    Jerry on 14 May 2009 at 9:27 pm
  9. This was not a multiple choice test, you are either for us or against us – there.

    Jerome on 19 May 2009 at 3:02 pm
  10. Dudes its all fake!
    Plays on emotions!
    Plays on eco guilt!
    As of November 2007, the CO2 concentration in Earth’s atmosphere was about 0.0384% (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbon_dioxide_in_the_Earth's_atmosphere)
    0.0384%? thats freaking small man! and its a weak green house gas!
    Weak X 0.0348% = pathetic!

    Michael on 20 Jul 2009 at 1:42 am
  11. You really don’t know what you are talking about.

    Jacob on 09 Sep 2009 at 9:06 am
  12. Jacob, I would point out that you are extremely intelligent and idolized by many, but the truth is… I don’t know what I’m talking about.

    Michael on 10 Sep 2009 at 2:25 pm
  13. i personally think this is all a reality and not only us, but our forefathers are at faut. and we are not the only ones that are gonna be affected by this problem that we face, so please can all of you grow up and wake up to the reality of the situation.

    eyelash on 21 Sep 2009 at 6:52 am
  14. thank you eyelash, you are all acting like such retards!! its not even funny. global warming is going to have an effect on all of us, be it death, scorching, drought or famine. so stop fooling around like bloody 3 year olds!!

    thank you =)

    pooky on 25 Sep 2009 at 8:28 am
  15. ****in liberals

    vinnie on 18 Mar 2010 at 2:34 pm
  16. i don’t care if global warming has indeed its benefits…you see, the bad impact would really outnumber them…besides, whatever happens, if global warming would continue, the earth would die…

    Jem Nephi on 21 Sep 2010 at 7:45 pm
  17. this is retarted

    frank on 11 Jan 2011 at 12:36 pm
  18. This really helped in my understanding of Global Warming. I agree on some of the points, however i found the Economy section rather odd. Still, Thanks!

    Blob on 13 Jan 2011 at 2:14 am
  19. Global warming

    Joel on 06 Feb 2011 at 5:59 am
  20. I personally think global warming is something we should be CONCERNED about, NOT something to PANIC about. If we are concerned about it we will end up doing something about it, if we panic it will cause stress and will make it harder on all of our lives.

    Timmy on 24 Feb 2011 at 10:06 pm
  21. Either way, Earth would heal itself like it would allway do,humans r stuffed but that will happen in a few more centuries. Even miliniums. By then, we probably would have colonised a few other planets, technology would have found its way to slow down carbon emisions. And no one is going to stop using carbon dioxide. It is impossible to stop using Carbon dioxide. ur asking to kill every living thing in the planet. including people. vegetation needs carbon dioxide. This is baisically the Human Destany

    Thomas on 26 Feb 2011 at 11:41 pm
  22. the guys who think that this is retarded take themselves too seriously, everything is doom and gloom these days and personally thank god that there is someone out there that is trying to make the most of what we got! theres no point crying about it, we made our bed now we gotta lie in it, might aswell as have fun whilst we do it…..

    Olia on 17 May 2011 at 5:40 am
  23. haha i agree with olia

    shadman on 22 May 2011 at 6:52 pm
  24. will all your positive side of global warming be in use if you under water due to sea level rise, what about that, think it……..

    victor on 09 Dec 2011 at 10:06 am
  25. Well, look. Global Warming actually does not do well with animals. Think of all the polar bears and penguins who are now walking on ice, but will soon be swimming in water because of the ice caps that are melting!!

    Julieanna on 02 Jan 2012 at 2:44 pm
  26. Well, Jerome, you are right about Global Warming being healthier, safer, and carbon dioxide being good for the plants.

    Julieanna on 02 Jan 2012 at 2:53 pm
  27. This is not 100% true and I guess this is why this page is called the “retard zone”. I totally agree that this is retarted. Kind of though.

    Julieanna on 15 May 2012 at 8:32 pm
  28. Fear of rising sea levels astounds me. Seriously…

    People are for some reason freaking out when the water rises a centimeter in a year. My god. Watch out. You might not be able to walk fast enough to outrun the rising sea……

    If you live in a coastal city your house will likely be in need of condemnation just from age before the water level starts to reach it. There’s nothing horrifying about the predictions of further rise over the decades. Besides, we’ve done a ****ty job designing our cities at least in the area of transportation. We could do much better with current scientific and engineering knowledge to build a much “greener” more efficient city especially if we had decades to work on it while the sea level slowly inches upward… if not centuries.

    Fear of less frozen hostile wastelands is a little strange too. Fear of desertification and drought is pretty understandable, but what do you think melting the ice caps will do to the available amount of water that could find its way into the clouds?

    Also, what happens when you heat a closed system encompassing a volume of water and air? One of the effects of increased temperature on the relation between water and air is that more of the water is absorbed by the air. What that means in practical terms is increased humidity.

    Increased water in the atmosphere due to increased temperature would likely result in increased rainfall on land and decreased desertification, if not some amount of reversal over time.

    So, more water to go around and more water in the atmosphere. Claiming there will be more droughts goes counter to the laws of nature backed by physics. I like the fact that physical sciences have had a long history of testing under the scientific methods, proven by the resulting technologies they have lead to. Call me stupid but I’m going trust a field that has a solid scientific foundation before I trust a field that has a solid record of making doomsday predictions which never came true.

    It’s annoying enough that I’ve lived through Y2K and soon the last date on the Mayan calendar. I have to put up with all these farcical doomsday predictions from nutcases already… Now they’re dressing up as scientists and making bizarre claims and calling any disagreeing scientist a denier like this is some kind of religion. Then they contradict themselves by saying they have a consensus. Really! Then what the hell is a denier? Maybe they mean amongst all agreeing persons they have a consensus, deleting all those deniers from their data. Oops, I just figured out how the peer review process skews science toward personal unsubstantiated opinion… I didn’t mean to. 😛 Sorry guys.

    On a side note… Haha, polar bears and penguins swimming. Heaven forbid.. I’d be surprised if ALL the ice melted and we had world-wide warm green habitats for non-polar animals, but hey, nature has been killing off countless species every day for millions of years. If the polar bears die off due to the earth’s natural change of climate (which has been going on for millions of years, surprising fact) well boo hoo. Except in the modern era we can maintain captive specimens of both in good health, even artificial miniature climates if we want. Humans could save species that the planet has decided aren’t good enough. 😛 Contrary to the belief that humans are the ultimate doom of all.

    Now, how about the environmental movement stops worrying about the gases I breathe out after I’ve taken in some oxygen, and start worrying about how to dismantle the system of greed that results in millions of tons of various toxic waste materials being dumped into the oceans. I think just maybe this silly carbon distraction is wasting time when we could be working to disempower the monetary system that rewards greed, destruction, pollution, and other toxic and dangerous behaviours that may actually doom us as a species. It’s a disgrace that most environmental movements don’t clue into how dangerous our current system of organization is in itself. It’s the number one most toxic thing to the planet and ourselves, the source of the biggest problems we’ve created as a species.

    Most of us do know the system is ****ed, but it’s enlightening to realize how easy it would be to fix our biggest problems if greed wasn’t the underlying factor in most of what goes on in the world on a large scale. If things were decided based on science, practicality, sustaining the environment we live on, producing healthy food for the entire human race, etc, we’d have a much healthier world with no need for fossil fuels. We have the technology to replace oil completely. The problem is purely in the fact that “cash rules everything around me.”

    Jordan on 15 Dec 2012 at 2:47 pm
  29. my friend, this are a good post.

  30. my friend, that is an good post.

  31. hello, there is an nice post.

  32. global warming should thought of.

    ndush on 23 Mar 2014 at 9:03 am

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