Darth Vader’s sad love story

As long as George Lucas has gone senile in his old age spending the last thirty years making every conceivable branded bit of licensed star wars garbage he might consider making a love story. His legions of fans are so loyal they watched his last three craptastophres essentially proved they’d watch pretty much anything with the words Star Wars in them.

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Darth Vader, in love, and throwing his birthday party must come to terms with the fact that he is a giant nerd. Chicks just don’t go for barbecued dudes no matter how rich and powerful they might be. At the end of the day he’s just a burn victim with a breathing problem who’s too ugly to be seen without a mask.