Just imagine if the world’s most famous band hadn’t been destroyed by Yoko Ono. You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one and I can only imagine a world without that ugly chick. Just how different would the world be without her, well here are ten things that would definitely have made the world a little better place…
12 New Beatles Albums
From 1960 to 1970 the beatles knocked out six albums and it has been 38 years since that Japanese harpy broke up the band. Even if their production had dropped to 3 albums a decade we would have a dozen more Beatles albums to illegally download or purchase. The band would minus George Harrison could be in the studio battling arthritis at this very moment.
Saved John Lennon’s Life
On the night of 8 December 1980, Lennon was shot in front of his home, the Dakota by Mark David Chapman. Lennon had autographed a copy of Double Fantasy for Chapman earlier that same night. Without Yoko, that horrible solo project, his home a the Dakota and probably even his murderers life would have been altered just enough to save his life. If we can blame her for killing the Beatles we can sure as hell blame him for living in that house at that time.
Beatles Innovation in Music
Music historians agree the band brought dozens of innovations to the music industry during their brief time together. Just think of what new things the creative bunch could have innovated for other bands to steal. The industry as a whole would be healthier with the fab four creating for another four decades. This is assuming that without Yoko Lennon would still be alive, blaming her for that above.
Perpetual Reunion Tours
There is nothing aging baby boomers love more than seeing other aging baby boomers rock on well past their prime. If the Rolling Stones could have been the leading tour band over the last twenty years, just imagine how well The Beatles would have done. Even confused Gen X’ ers would have shelled out a hundred bucks to hear the world’s most famous rock band creak onto stage. Sill blaming Yoko for getting him killed, see above.
A World Without Yoko Ono’s Fame
Having to put up with this ugly woman in public eye for the last half century is a crime against humanity. At least Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are pleasant to look at. Yoko Ono looks like the ugly prostitute at a Thai bar who is forced to make a living doing things involving a donkey. Other than ruining the greatest band of all time, the woman had no appreciable talent and her singing should have been relegated to karaoke night.
Fewer Beatle Solo Projects
Sure Some solo projects were unavoidable but a the end of the day there would have been less of Wings and Paul McCartney with Michael Jackson to put up with. Poor Paul would not have been linked to a pedophile, or had to touch where that gloved hand had been.
No Bed-in Spectacle
Sure you can try to to give the 1969 bed-in spectacle a positive spin about how it changed the world, but at the end of the day it was basically just watching an ugly chick who didn’t want to get out of bed.
Beatles Half Time Show at the Superbowl
Sure it would have been later in their career but it would have been cool to see the world’s greatest band at halftime. It would have drawn in a whole new generation of fans to the Beatles.
Sure purists would say the band would never sell out but just think of the marketing possibilities. A Volkswagen commercial for the new Beetles featuring the old Beatles.
A World Without Sean Lennon
Sure he seems like a nice kid, but can’t sing to save his life. Maybe he could have found a normal woman and knocked out a spoiled brat like Prescilla Presley so we would have one more celebrity train wreck to watch weave in and out of rehab.
Who knows what kind of musical mystery tour we would have been led on, because of Yoko we’ll never know…
And it looks like we’re not the only ones who want to kill her, her chauffeur has been accused of threatening to kill the woman who killed the Beatles.
9 Responses to “Imagine a world without Yoko Ono”