Sure everyone is willing to go blame Hummers, oil companies, rich people building in pristine places and styrofoam for ruining the planet but what about the less politically correct sources of pollution. Let’s put everything on the table and be willing to go beyond the bumper stickers and make the hard choices necessary to save this planet of ours.
|1.||The Third World
The kyoto protocol and the press in general give third world countries a pass on pollution. The problem is that third world countries have the largest populations and the fewest pollution saving technologies. As a result of China will surpass the United States as the global leader in carbon emissions by 2009 and seven of the ten most polluted cities in the world are in China. Each year China’s pollution increase is greater than all of the pollution produced by the United Kingdom.
PC SOLUTION: Encourage third world countries to focus on native/aboriginal life rather than the hassle and bussle of developed nations.
FASTER SOLUTION: Carpet bomb the third world back into the stone age, we need the save what little gas there is for the good countries.
They are cute, and who doesn’t love a little kid (especially Catholic priests – but their coming up next). The problem is that the land can only support so many humans. In 1900 there were less than 1.5 billion people, today there are 6 billion and this is expected to increase to 9 billion by 2050. Each person produces a certain amount of waste and without industrialization the environment could only support a tiny fraction of today’s population.
PC SOLUTION: Institute a one-child policy like China to start reducing world population.
FASTER SOLUTION: Pet owners have to spay and neuter their pets to be responsible – institute a similar requirement for children.
|3.||Catholics, Mormons & Muslims
The Catholic church, Mormons and Muslims all have a well established track record of discouraging birth control. Well intentioned missionaries also brought with them goats and other non-indigenous cattle whose overgrazing of pastures led to soil erosion and desertification. Sorry but all three of these religions have to be banned for the sake of the planet.
PC SOLUTION: Continue to pass laws that require churches to conform to modern life, eventually people will quit going to church like in Europe.
FASTER SOLUTION: Ban religions that don’t conform to reduced population, we can have an environmental inquisition (no-one expects the green inquisition).
Remote controls, TVs, iPods and computers are all cool to play with but all have very short shelf lives and are typically obsolete before production ever begins. Most gadgets require plastics, rare metals and their production and disposal is spoiling the planet. Electrical infrastructure alone requires millions of miles of cables, outlets, cords and that doesn’t even get into producing the power in the first place.
PC SOLUTION: Require a tax on new products and encourage products that can be upgraded.
FASTER SOLUTION: Go for the Taliban approach and start destroying technology, let the streets run red with dead iPods.
People from less developed nations are surging into developed nations contributing to population growth in nations that would have shrinking populations. Increasing populations in developed worlds that consume huge amounts of energy per capita is an import that should be discouraged.
PC SOLUTION: Encourage economic growth in poorer countries, the rich countries should pay for the poor ones so everyone is equal.
FASTER SOLUTION: Forget fences, go for minefields and lasers – it worked in East Germany.
It is estimated that between production and disposal half of the pollution created by a vehicle is accomplished without ever driving the car a mile. Even electric powered cars have zinc batteries which is horrible to mine, have short life spans and the electricity still has to come from somewhere.
PC SOLUTION: Encourage cleaner and cleaner vehicles, eventually we will have cars that run on water and last for decades.
FASTER SOLUTION: People are too fat, make them walk to their home sand back.
Modern construction with carpets, paint, electric lighting, insulation, concrete, wood all of these elements combine to make many of our homes more toxic inside than out.
PC SOLUTION: Encourage eco-friendly buildings and with a smaller population the planet can forgive us this one luxury.
FASTER SOLUTION: Abandon our cities and run for the forest and caves – it’s how man was meant to live.
|8.||Shoplifters / Criminals
The fastest growing industries in many countries are police and security. Prison populations are swelling and the impact of all the CCTV security cameras, gates, locks, alarms are staggering. Simply look at the packaging for many products used to combat shoplifting with dozens of times the necessary packaging used to make products harder to steal.
PC SOLUTION: Explain to people that stealing is bad, and that it hurts the environment and if they don’t stop the planet will die.
FASTER SOLUTION: The oldest laws written in the world (the Code of Hammurabi) sentenced criminals to hand chopping’s – these sorts of extreme punishments actually deter crime.
Drugs can permanently damage developing fetuses in a similar fashion to alcohol abuse. Humans are literally polluting their own bodies with drugs that frequently contain toxic chemicals and cause brain damage. Technically drugs qualify as pollution so they need to be banned.
PC SOLUTION: As global warming fears subside and the planet comes into harmony people won’t need drugs anymore.
FASTER SOLUTION: Prisons are too expensive, summary executions are a huge deterrent and further reduce the population.
Nearly 4 billion trees worldwide are cut down each year for paper, representing about 35% of all harvested trees. The production of paper has toxic side effects and those trees could be busy cleaning up carbon dioxide and saving us from global warming.
PC SOLUTION: Let’s go paperless, we already have laptops people can just download their books and save a tree.
FASTER SOLUTION: Let’s
Honorable Mention: Genetically deficient people reproducing, makeup, fluorescent lights (full of mercury), bottled water, and soap (French are ahead of the curve on this one).
Sadly humans are to blame for this and the planet would be a whole lot better off without us, perhaps the least politically correct solution is for us to all kill ourselves before the planet is destroyed.
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