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A retard’s guide to unlocking phones

Locked PHoneWhen your boss pays you by the hour, what wouldn’t you do for him or (if you’re lesser of a man and are subservient to a woman) for her”? My boss and I are friends, and have been friends for a longer time period than I’ve been his employee. There are many non-work things that I would do for my boss, including using a murder kit. But there are some things I wouldn’t do…

Killing.. if the circumstance was right, we’d all do it.
Stealing.. sure, people do it every day in some way.
Unlocking a phone. Hell no! I’m not sure what sort of twisted stuff you are thinking about when you come up with that.

Seriously, I was asked if I could unlock an iPhone 3G last week. I thought about it and just said that it wouldn’t be a good idea because of the warranty thing. That’s just a cop-out though, the truth is that I’m able to remotely hack Thomas Gabriel, would out 3-D cube Stanley Jobson, chance favors my prepared mind more than Travis Dane, Milo Hoffman doesn’t know compression algorithms like I do, David Lightman couldn’t beat me in tic-tac-toe, and Acid Burn couldn’t carry my Gibson

Movie Hacking
Hacking in movies is always cooler looking…

I could make my way through a hackfest and turn white hats into black hats and black hats into beanie wearers.

But why bother unlocking a phone myself when I could get someone else to do it for me? I shouldn’t be bothered. It’s beneath me. So I’ll peddle all of my cell phone unlocking duties to another company that has proven itself among the people that are smart enough to use them.

Of course, you could keep trying to unlock the phone yourself, but if you screw it up then you’ll have to buy another phone because you’re retarded. I’ll just send my phone over to Unlock to Talk and let them do the work for me. Again.

Locked Phone
The last time I tried unlocking a phone…

Locked Phone
Another victim of being locked out.

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Posted By: Michael Sharpe

News Category: Review


3 Responses to “A retard’s guide to unlocking phones”

  1. Great Blog post. I am going to bookmark and read more often. I love the Blog template ? if you need any assistance customizing it let me know!

    Eric Lee on 01 Aug 2008 at 1:00 pm
  2. Guessing you’re like 13 years old, right?
    Who else would use the word retard like you did. Shameful.

    missionmom on 01 Aug 2008 at 10:20 pm
  3. The word has multiple definitions, including:
    A slowing down or hindering of progress; a delay.

    As for being shameful, this site has never attacked the mentally retarded. For the record – retarded people are cool and I would venture several times happier than the “non-retarded”. Also for the record Michael owns two homes, has a great high paying job (he’s actually my boss) and is dating a girl who could be a supermodel and drives and drives an extremely fast car (believe it if you want – don’t care). This site is for the entertainment of our friends and like minded who have South Park senses of humor. Hopefully this site offends you.

    Jerome on 01 Aug 2008 at 11:39 pm

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