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70s retreads on your plasma TV

Return of the 70sLike the 70s we’re facing a slowing economy, inflation and out of control gas prices. And sadly, we are getting the same TV shows to match. Battlestar Galactica proved the only exception to tthe rule where it’s retread aired for 3 more seasons than it’s original series.

The Bionic Woman
The Bionic Woman
The Bionic Woman
Original Series: 1976-1978 New Series: 2007
Episodes: 59 Episodes: 14

Lindsay Wagner Lindsay Wagner Jamie Sommers
Oscar Goldman Richard Anderson Oscar Goldman
Steve Austin Lee Majors Col. Steve Austin
Bigfoot Ted Cassidy Bigfoot

Michelle Ryan Michelle Ryan Jaime Sommers
Miguel Ferrer Miguel Ferrer Jonas Bledsoe
Lucy Hale Lucy Hale Becca Sommers
Katee Sackhoff Katee Sackhoff Sarah Corvus
Plot: In this TV spinoff of "The Six Million Dollar Man", tennis pro Jamie Sommers was almost killed in a skydiving accident, but was saved by the U.S. Government, which used bionic parts to save her. Both legs, one arm, and one ear are artificial, which give her a number of super powers. She works as an agent for the Office of Scientific Investigations battling spies, fembots, mad scientists and aliens. Plot: A reimagining of the popular 1970s TV series about a female athlete who is given bionic strength.
Returning Stars: No major returns.
Notable: The Bionic woman didn’t end in 1978 with the cancellation of the show – a trillogy of TV movies continued the story of Jamie Sommers until 1994.. All three movies aired on ABC, and they take our heroes from their reunion through their eventual marriage. Notable: None of the shows original stars returned, and after a quick ratings start the show died a quick death without bigfoot.
The Love Boat
The Love Boat
The Love Boat
Original Series: 1977-1986 New Series: 1998-1999
Episodes: 249 Episodes: 25

Captain Gavin MacLeod Captain Merrill Stubing
Gopher Fred Grandy Purser ‘Gopher’
Julie Lauren Tewes Cruise Director Julie McCoy
Doctor Bernie Kopell Doctor Adam Bricker
Gopher Ted Lange Bartender Isaac Washington

Robert Urich Robert Urich Captain Jim Kennedy
Phil Morris Phil Morris Chief Purser Will Sanders
Joan Severance Joan Severance Security Camille Hunter
Corey Parker Corey Parker Doctor John Morgan
Plot: The romantic and comic tales of the passengers and crew of the cruise ship, Pacific Princess. Plot: Retired Navy commander Jim Kennedy is divorced and has a teenage son. He takes over the famous cruise ship, where he and his crew tackle various scenarios with different passengers every week.
Notable: This show was famous for it’s guest stars who included Charro who would board the ship. Gopher went on to serve in the US congress. Notable: Not much, this show sank faster than the Titanic, and never even made it to a major network.
Hawaii 5-0
Fantasy Island
Fantasy Island
Original Series: 1968-1980 New Series: 2010-?
Episodes: 284 Episodes: ?

Jack Lord Jack Lord Det. Steve McGarrett
James MacArthur James MacArthur Det. Danny Williams
Fong Kam Fong Det. Chin Ho Kelly

Plot: Hawaii Five-O centers on a fictional state police force (named in honor of Hawaii’s status as the 50th State) led by former Navy officer Steve McGarrett (Jack Lord), who was appointed by the Governor Paul Jameson (Richard Denning). For twelve seasons, McGarrett and his team hounded international secret agents, criminals, and Mafia syndicates plaguing the Hawaiian Islands. Plot: Like the original series, it is a procedural chronicling the workings of the fictional Hawaiian state police department. In the original, the unit was headed by Steve McGarrett, played by Jack Lord. In the new series, McGarrett’s son Chris will be the top cop. While the characters, storytelling and pacing will be updated, "we will try to keep as much of the original show as possible," the creator said. "I’m not trying to reinvent it."
Notable: The show ran for 12 seasons, from 1968 to 1980, making it the longest running crime show on American television until the police drama Law & Order surpassed it in 2003. Notable: Quintin Tarantino turned down remaking the series as a movie because he said he hated the show. There were plans for a movie version that was in the works at Warner Bros. Pictures, but those plans were scrapped at the last moment.

Battlestar Galactica
Battleastar Galactica
Battleastar Galactica
Original Series: 1978 New Series: 2004-2009
Episodes: 21 Episodes: 73

Adama Lorne Greene Commander Adama
Apollo Richard Hatch Captain Apollo Adama
Starbuck Dirk Benedict Lt. Starbuck
Boomer Herb Jefferson Jr. Lt. Boomer
Baltar John Colicos Baltar
Cassiopeia Laurette Spang Cassiopeia
Sheba Anne Lockhart Sheba

Adama Edward James Olmos Admiral William Adama
Apollo Jamie Bamber Captain Lee ‘Apollo’ Adama
Starbuck Katee Sackhoff Captain Kara ‘Starbuck’ Thrace
Boomer Grace Park Lt. Sharon ‘Boomer’ Valerii
Baltar James Callis Dr. Gaius Baltar
Adama Mary McDonnell President Laura Roslin
Number Six Tricia Helfer Number 6
Plot: The human Colonial forces have agreed to peace with their mortal enemies the Robotic Cylons when a surprise attack destroys most of the Colonial Fleet. The remnants of the Colonials form up a "ragtag group of ships" on the surviving major ship, the Battlestar Galactica. They decide to go off in a search for the planet founded by missing tribe of the Colonials, a planet called earth as the Cylons continue to search for them. Plot: A reimagining of the popular 1970s TV series with major characters turned into women who beat up guys. The Cylons are now look like humans (not all of them though some are robots and others are living spaceships)
Notable: A second season promised an extremely watered down plot where Cassiopeia was promoted from nurse to doctor, Boomer becomes a scientist, Tigh the second in command would be replaced by women, Sheba dies, and Starbuck develops super senses. Apollo quits the fleet (as he did in the second series) and has an affair with a half cylon named renata (is that where thy came up with the twist for the second series?) Notable:Many regard the show as the best Sci-Fi series of all time, with 11 awards & 33 nominations. Richard Hatch who played the lead in the original was in 20 episodes as a politician. Starbuck is the last cylon.
Fantasy Island
Fantasy Island
Fantasy Island
Original Series: 1978-1984 New Series: 1998-1999
Episodes: 157 Episodes: 13

Roarke Ricardo Montalban Mr. Roarke
Tattoo Hervé Villechaize Tattoo

McDowell Malcolm McDowell Mr. Roarke
Hibbert Edward Hibbert Harry
Mädchen Amick Ariel
Finkel Fyvush Finkel Fisher
Plot: Fantasy Island is a resort, where there is very little that the host, Mr. Roarke cannot provide. Thus we have visitors have adventures in fantasies that should be impossible, but this island can accommodate them such as visits to any time period they want, meet absolutely anyone they see to do something they request such as getting William Shakespeare to write a play for them. Plot: In this revival of the popular 1970s television series, Mr. Roarke and his three assistants run a tropical paradise where guests come in to have their wildest dreams and fantasies come true.
Notable: In the two pilot movies Roarke was actually a rather sinister figure, but once the series went into production he soon became much more benevolent. In later seasons there were often supernatural overtones. Roarke also seemed to have his own supernatural powers of some sort, although it was never explained how this came to be. Notable: There is another remake underway for 2010 Fantasy Island, maybe the second attempt grabs a midget the show will make it past 13 epsiodes.
The Streets of San Francisco
Streets of San Francisco
Streets of San Francisco
Original Series: 1972-1977 New Series: 2010-?
Episodes: 119 Episodes: ?

Karl Malden Karl Malden Detective Lt. Mike Stone
Michael Douglas Inspector Steve Keller

Plot: This show was about two police officers who investigated homicides in the "city by the bay." The center of the series was a veteran cop and widower, Lt. Mike Stone (Karl Malden), who had more than 20 years of police experience was partnered with a young, educated, plainclothes detective and energetic partner, Assistant Inspector Steve Keller (Michael Douglas), a 28-year-old college graduate. Plot: The remake will keep key elements from the original series: the title, the names of the two main characters and, of course, the backdrop of the City by the Bay. But the main focus is to bring the spirit of the original "Streets" into the new reincarnation, Turner said. "The times are very similar — it was the Vietnam War in the 1970s and the Iraq War now," he said. "There is the same sort of tension between generations, and we wanted to carry that to the new series." Turner compared the 21st century Keller and Stone to presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain. "One, like Obama, wants to be active and believes in rehabilitation, while the other one, like McCain, doesn’t quite believe in rehabilitation and believes that the enemy is the enemy," Turner said.
Notable: After the second episode of the fifth and final season, Douglas left the show after successfully producing the film One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, which won the Academy Award for Best Film for 1975. Notable: CBS is planning dual remakes of cop dramas Streets of San Fransisco and Hawaii 5-0 to confuse older viewers into believing they have traveled back in time to the 70s like the TV Show Life on Mars which makes no sense because that’s on ABC.
Adam 12
Adam 12
Adam 12
Original Series: 1968-1975 New Series: 1989-1991
Episodes: 175 Episodes: 26

Milner Kent McCord Officer James A. Reed
Milner Martin Milner Officer Peter J. Malloy

Ethan Wayne Ethan Wayne Officer Matt Doyle
Peter Parros Peter Parros Officer Gus Grant
Plot: After his partner is killed in a gun battle, Veteran Patrol Officer Pete Malloy, bitter and disillusioned, is teamed with an eager rookie partner, Jim Reed. Officer Malloy feeling responsible for his new partner, is determined to keep his new partner safe and alive. Stories involve daily assignments, close teamwork, and then-current law enforcement procedures right out of the files of the City of Los Angeles Police Department. Plot: Officers Doyle and Grant patrolled the streets of Los Angeles in squad car Adam-12, trying to keep the city safe for everyone. The show mainly focused on the partners’ dealings with both serious crimes and more unusual humorous situations, as well as looking at their home and personal lives.
Notable: Show was a spin-off of the popular NBC TV series DRAGNET!, Created and Produced by Jack Webb. Notable: Ethan Wayne is the son of John Wayne, and this was his only major role.
Original Series: 1973-1978 New Series: 2005
Episodes: 118 Episodes: 10

Telly Savalas Telly Savalas Lt. Theo Kojak

Ethan Wayne Ving Rhames Lieutenant Theo Kojak
Plot: The series is set in New York City’s Thirteenth Precinct. It revolves around the efforts of the incorruptible Lt. Theo Kojak (Telly Savalas). A tough, bald New York City policeman who was fond of lollipops and for using the catchphrase, "Who loves ya, baby?" Lt. Kojak displayed a dark, cynical wit and a tendency to bend the rules in order to bring a criminal to justice. Plot: Rhames portrays Lietutant Theo Kojak of the New York City Police Department, a skilled plain clothes detective with a shaved head and an affinity for jazz, fine clothing, and lollipops. As with the original series, he is fond of the catchphrase "Who loves ya, baby?" The series lasted for one season.
Notable: In the early episodes of the series, Kojak smoked heavily; in order to reflect the anti-smoking sentiment gaining momentum on American TV, the writers decided that Kojak had quit smoking. He began sucking on lollipops as a substitute, which became a trademark of the character. Notable: Many asked why remake a show like "Kojak," which featured a larger-than- life character who was proudly Greek-American (played by a proudly Greek-American actor) and cast an African-American in the title role? The quick answer name another Greek American actor besides Telly Savalas.

1977 TV schedule
Network schedule from 1977 – you can still watch 60 minutes on CBS on Sunday nights at 7PM.

Although many of these stars have either died physically or professionally, you can still watch many of the same shows. And who knows maybe Michael Phelps will reclaim Mark Spitz’s failed olympic swimmer turned horrible sitcom actor to complete the comeback.

Be ready to break out your polyester in 2010 you will have the following remakes:
Capricorn One, Clash of the Titans, Cleopatra, The Colour Purple, The Crazies, Dambusters, Dirty Dozen, Dune, Farenheit 451, Fantastic Voyage, Fantasy Island, Flash Gordon, Footloose, Green Hornet, Hawaii 5-0, High Noon, Highlander, Hong Kong Phooey, I Dream of Jeannie, The Incredible Shrinking Man, The Invisible Man, The Invisible Woman, Jonny Quest, Knight Rider, Labyrinth, Logan’s Run, The Lone Ranger, Metropolis, Mighty Mouse, Mortal Kombat, My Fair Lady, Navy Seals (!!!), Nightmare on Elm St, Paddington Bear, Red Dawn, Red Sonja, Robocop, Rosemary’s Baby, Sanford and Son, Short Circuit, Smurfs, Teen Witch, Thundercats, Tron, Voltron, The Warriors, White Man’s Burden, The Wild Geese

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Entertainment, Retarded


One Response to “70s retreads on your plasma TV”

  1. I used to love watching Fantasy island in my unederoos as a kid imagining that I really had a daddy and he was Mr Rourke, and I was tattoo and we’d spend long days just sitting on the beach together.

    North Korea on 15 Aug 2008 at 10:31 am

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