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Jamaicas track dominance explained scientifically

Jamaican Track DominanceScientists are attempting to explain why Jamaican runners are dominating the track world. It could just be the good weather and a lack of more interesting sports in Jamaica – but making up conspiracy theories is the lifeblood of the internet.

1. voodooVoodoo
With athletes looking for an edge Jamaican athletes could have turned to the dark side and instead of growth hormones loaded up on voodoo. There are a hierarchy of lesser creations, the Voodoo, which range in power from major deities governing the forces of nature and human society to the spirits of individual streams, trees, and rocks, the more impressive of which may be considered sacred. These spirits could be used against rival runners and pushed the Jamaican runners over the top.
2. buildingsLack of Cars in Jamaica
With historical double digit unemployment all of this free time gives young runners the time necessary to devote themselves full time to training.
3. third worldLions
Most Jamaicans come from West Africa and the top of the food chain in Africa is lions. After generations of running for their lives from lions, and having the slower ones eaten by lions and removed from the gene pool this one has some credibility.
4. musclesActinen A
Speed is in our genes, researchers at the University of Glasgow and the University of the West Indies (UWI) are concluding. The Glasgow research team has been studying the muscle physiology and genetics of athletes from around the world, including some 200 Jamaican athletes present and past. At the base of sprint speed are the fast-twitch muscle fibres stocked with the speed protein Actinen A. And early data indicate that 70 per cent of Jamaican athletes have the gene for Actinen A. Only 30 per cent of Australian athletes studied had the gene.
5. ganjaJamaican Ganja
It seems counter-intuitive but it’s possible that a particular strain of cannabis AKA the national pass time in Jamaica actually makes you run faster. Sure most stoners can’t run let alone get off the couch, but maybe there is a special combination of chemicals only found in marijuana grown in the mountains of Jamaica that actually effects athletic performance for the better.
6. cheatingCheating

This could only explain why the women are so dominant – but is everyone sure these are really women?
7. unemploymentNo One Works in Jamaica
With historical double digit unemployment all of this free time gives young runners the time necessary to devote themselves full time to training.
8. raggaeReggae Music
If classical music can make you smarter maybe prolonged exposure to reggae music actually makes you faster.
9. panhandlingPanhandling builds muscles

Anyone who has ever been to Jamaica has seen the huge numbers of panhandlers, even children run after tourists asking for money or trying to sell things. In the very poor country with huge numbers of tourists it’s possible that the children developed speed chasing after tourists from a very young age.
10. jimmy the greekJimmy the Greek Was Right
Jimmy the Greek was a NFL analyst for CBS that was fired after commenting to WRC-TV reporter Ed Hotaling in a Washington, D.C. restaurant that African Americans were naturally superior athletes at least in part because they had been selectively bred to produce stronger offspring during slavery.
11. crimeHigh Crime Rate

There is a huge problem with crime and simply running away from it could make you fast. Those who escape it literally run for their lives – now that’s motivation.


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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Retarded, Science


One Response to “Jamaicas track dominance explained scientifically”

  1. Is this a multiple choice test?

    Jeff on 18 Aug 2008 at 12:14 pm

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