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Archive for August, 2008

Real life alien monster double bite

Goblin sharkThe move Aliens introduced most of us to a monster that had a second smaller set of jaws open up from it’s mouth which seemed totally retarded but cool. The goblin shark pretty much has the same thing which is totally worthy of some retard attention…
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Hot reporter goes down for a story

Zorb victimHot reporters are willing to do more than just go down for a story some are nearly got killed by a giant ball. Not just a run of the mill ball either, it was a single ball (like John Kruk’s) or more specifically a giant transparent sphere intended to be fun.
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Jamaicas track dominance explained scientifically

Jamaican Track DominanceScientists are attempting to explain why Jamaican runners are dominating the track world. It could just be the good weather and a lack of more interesting sports in Jamaica – but making up conspiracy theories is the lifeblood of the internet.
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Bigfoot found but many unanswered questions remain

Unanswered Bigfoot QuestionsNow that Bigfoot’s existence has been proved beyond a shadow of doubt by the good folks at Searching for Bigfoot LLC we can get down to asking the really important outstanding journalistic questions about bigfoot…
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70s retreads on your plasma TV

Return of the 70sLike the 70s we’re facing a slowing economy, inflation and out of control gas prices. And sadly, we are getting the same TV shows to match. Battlestar Galactica proved the only exception to tthe rule where it’s retread aired for 3 more seasons than it’s original series.
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A retard’s guide to nerd income

A retard's guide to nerd incomeYou are a nerd, live in your parent’s basement (or attic if you live in the Western United States), and you need to prove social stature to your nerd friends that you are better than they are. Well, you could either watch NUMB3RS and laugh along with me at their antiquated mathematical equations, or you could sell your life and soul. Continue Reading »

A retard’s guide to e-commerce

Stores OnlineWorking for a company that doesn’t survive based on the Internet is becoming more unique. Most companies that aren’t failing don’t survive entirely on the Internet for income, which might be a good thing. For those on the web that succeed, there’s no question that they are hoping to brand something different that makes them the next Facebook or MySpace or Retard Empire. Continue Reading »

A retard’s guide to unlocking phones

Locked PHoneWhen your boss pays you by the hour, what wouldn’t you do for him or (if you’re lesser of a man and are subservient to a woman) for her”? My boss and I are friends, and have been friends for a longer time period than I’ve been his employee. There are many non-work things that I would do for my boss, including using a murder kit. But there are some things I wouldn’t do… Continue Reading »

Researching my Nigerian Lottery winnings

Lottery MoneyI still can’t believe my luck, last week I received the fantastic news that I had won the lottery! Not just any lottery either, but as it turns out $600,000 dollars in the global online sweepstake lottery. The email apparently has something to do with Nigeria so I tracked down someone from Nigeria to try to find out out my winnings.
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