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Top 10 hottest celebrities infected with STDs

Most popular suicide destinations Using scientific methodology we have taken the most attractive celeberities infected with STD’s and determined which are the most attractive. Each subject was given a total score or DRrf or Disease Risk Reward Factor taking account for physical appearance, wealth, and disease severity…

Jessica Alba

Destination Truth

Using the STD rating system which accounts for severity of disease, likelyhood of infection, wealth and looks (see Figure-8 below the list) Jessica is the most desirable disease riddled starlet.

Her disease was apparently given to her by Derek Jeter. A former employee of her ex-boyfriend Cash Warren used to go out on runs and refill her Valtrex prescription on a regular basis

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
91% 9 $18m Herpes

Kristanna Loken

Destination Truth

Reportedly Kritanna passed the gift that keeps giving it to her boyfriend, Justin Whalin. Her most memorable role was as the female terminator in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Being a converted fashion model the less she speaks the better when acting.

Loken stated in an interview with Curve magazine, "I have dated and have had sex with men and women and have to say that the relationships I have had with certain women have been much more fulfilling, sexually and emotionally, than of those with certain men… I connect with an aura, with energy. And if the person with whom I connect happens to be a female, that’s just the way it is. That’s what makes my wheels turn."

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
90% 9 $3m Herpes

Pamela Anderson

Destination Truth

Pamela Anderson is making strong progress in her battle against Hepatitis C – her doctor has declared her fitter and healthier at 40 than she’s ever been in her life. In 2003, Anderson claimed she was not expected to live for more than 10 or 15 years after contracting the disease from ex-husband Tommy Lee – but last October the former Baywatch star announced her determination to defy all odds and cure the virus completely.

Her numbers would be higher, but her looks are on the downhill slope and she can’t rely on her acting skills to pay her phone bill.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
84.7% 8 $75m Hepatitis-C

Victoria Beckham

Destination Truth

Victoria Beckham the former Spice Girl turned freakish alien example of plastic surgery gone too far (ala Michael Jackson) would be the wealthiest on this list if her and her husband didn’t manage money like Fannie Mae. The poster couple for nouveau riche jet sets around the world buying up orchards and reportedly Victoria aka "Poche Spice" sports a seven million dollar ring.

Victoria probably picked up the Herp from one of her husband’s thousand plus groupie count.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
72.8% 6.5 $125m Herpes

Paris Hilton

Destination Truth

Paris neglected to pay off her bills for a storage unit and her belongings were auctioned off. Thanks once again to that storage locker which held more secrets than the chest in Raiders of the Lost Ark, a medical record/prescription info insert emerged for a drug called Valtrex, which is used to treat outbreaks of genital herpes.

The troubled celebutante, sort of actress, sort of singer was formerlly a professional heiress was but written out of the will for her crazy antics. That cost her more than fifty million dollars and at least two spots on this list.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
70.6 7 $12m Herpes

Lindsey Lohan

Destination Truth

This former child model went on to become a late-teen Disney movie star to wild party girl with not much of an acting future. By all accounts she has given up men and is set to marry Samantha Ronson within a year.

Prior to switching teams Lohan went through more male actors than a catering truck. She has recently taken a break from acting to drive under the influence and get back her girlish figure in rehab centers.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
70.5% 7 $7m Herpes

Alyssa Milano

Destination Truth

Her career has tapered off since two succesful TV shows (Charmed and Who’s The Boss) and her career is mostly limited to B Movies and the Sci-Fi Channel.

She is sweet, loves sports and visits the troops so with her good looks you could probably put up with the odd flare up.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
70.4% 7 $8m Herpes

Britney Spears

Destination Truth

Britney’s well telivised downward spiral has led her to wake up in more than one strange bed after a drug filled evening of partying. This former member of the Mickey Mouse Club even kissed Madonna on the lips, and that’s roughly equivelent to locking lips with a half dozen Bangkok prostitutes. She has been doucmented buying Zovirax in Kentwood.

The head shaving, well publicised drug problems, losing her children to Kevin Federline and massive weight gain have all taken their toll on her career and more importantly her cash supplies.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
69.9% 6.5 $80m Herpes

Janet Jackson

Destination Truth

Janet Jackson had a list of her perscriptons leaked online. Here is a link from smoking gun with her actual perscription for Zovirax (an antiviral drug, a synthetic nucleoside analogue, that is active against the herpes viruses,)

She has the highest wealth on the list but looks too much like her child fondling brother Michael to score too high on this list. Besides at 42 she is one of the oldest on this list and is prone to massive (Oprah-esque) weight gains.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
69.4% 6 $150m Herpes

Katie Holmes

Destination Truth

Katie seems like a nice enough child bride in the happy Scientology family. She would rank higher in wealth, but signed a $40 million dollar prenuptual agreement with Tom Cruise. I think for $40 million I would let the man nearly twice her age slobber all over me and give me herpes.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
68.1% 6.5 $50m Herpes

Formula

DRrf or Disease Risk Reward Factor aka (STD Ranking) calculated where:

x External Bodily Attraction Factor (0-10) Dp Disease Probability Percentage
y Wealth in Millions Ds Disease Severity Percentage
Starlett Looks Wealth* STD
Probability
STD Disability STD Ranking
Jessica Alba
9
$18
80%
40%
91.04
Kristanna Loken
9
$3
75%
40%
90.09
Pamela Anderson
8
$75
100%
80%
84.71
Victoria Beckham
6.5
$125
80%
40%
72.85
Paris Hilton
7
$12
90%
40%
70.65
Lindsey Lohan
7
$10
80%
40%
70.53
Alyssa Milano
7
$8
80%
40%
70.40
Britney Spears
6.5
$80
85%
40%
69.98
Janet Jackson
6
$150
90%
40%
69.43
Katie Holmes
6.5
$50
90%
40%
68.07

*Wealth in Millions (US Dollar)

If left unchecked this promiscuous vixens aren’t just a threat to Hollywood – they are a threat to the general public. If we can’t control these celebrities the entire world will be infected with STD’s at least three months before the planet melts and we die from global warming. These worst case computer models show just how real the threat to the country is:
Hollywood Tree

 

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Celebrity, Humor, News, Retarded, Science

 

39 Responses to “Top 10 hottest celebrities infected with STDs”

  1. Oh, maybe they can go to for some advice on a STD support dating site” STDpal,,, com”.

    hiney on 15 Jan 2009 at 8:32 pm
  2. Omg!!!!!! I am stunned so many of them have it!!!!! Especially Katie Homes!!!! And I am heartbroken Mariah and Britney have it. And I thought Lindsy would learn from her friends!!!!

    Riseagain on 14 Feb 2009 at 9:20 pm
  3. I’m surprised that more of them don’t have it.
    Sadly, more of the celebrities seem to have an infection than adult-movie stars.

    Michael on 14 Feb 2009 at 9:46 pm
  4. U morons. Katie holmes has been seen with a cold sore. Not transmitted by being a nasty slut.

    Margarita on 23 Feb 2009 at 4:09 pm
  5. Margarita, you seem like just the sort of girl to write off my diamond shaped rash as an allergy to a change in laundry detergents. What is your number? call me…

    Jerome on 23 Feb 2009 at 5:11 pm
  6. Margarita (if that is really your name and not just what your mom used to forget those child-rearing years), it’s a known fact that Katie Holmes has at least three STDs [see Tom and Suri and Scientology]. I understand your hope that she is actually just walking around with a cold sore, it makes it seem less painful to think that what you see as a perfect life really is flawed.

    People that believe that celebrities are perfect or have “it” better than non-celebrities are really just empty-headed-yolk-sacks.

    Michael on 23 Feb 2009 at 5:13 pm
  7. They can still count themselves lucky they don’t have HIV/AIDS. Who knows, maybe they have it already. HIV symptoms (like other STDs) are not visible on the surface. And what is dangerous is that having HIV makes one susceptible to other STDs.

    Good luck to these gals.

    Gabriel117 on 25 Feb 2009 at 7:09 pm
  8. LMAO
    ok half of this celebrities on here were only “RUMORED” to have stds..
    in what i know about rumors .. about 50% or more of the rumored ones is false ..
    LOL LIKE KATIE HOMES..

    LOL on 02 Mar 2009 at 1:49 am
  9. im shckd that janet jackson got herpes cuz she dnt look the typ 2 get it bit her and all the other faous women is so, so, so strong ciz me i hav it but i wish i didnt cuz i got it from a boy friend i luvd so much but i waited 4 so,so long 2 lose it and i thought he waz the 1 but he wasnt at all but when i found out i was so mad and scared.

    brianna on 11 Mar 2009 at 5:43 pm
  10. Uhem have you not heard of “taking the piss?” The only legitimate one is Pamela Anderson, because it came from the “horses mouth” so to speak. Don’t be a lameo and believe everything you read.

    Whatthe? on 13 Apr 2009 at 8:40 pm
  11. NASTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

    std free on 08 Jul 2009 at 12:34 pm
  12. duh cold sores are herpes, do some educational research instead of listening to celebrity rumors…

    duh on 16 Jul 2009 at 12:04 pm
  13. Most of these are not confirmed. You can find a list of confirmed celebrities, AIDS criminals, and people reported by the public as having STD’s by visiting my International STD Carrier Database.

    “Click It Before You Stick It!”
    STDCarriers.com

    STDCarriers.com on 17 Jul 2009 at 12:41 pm
  14. okay the fact that you say the vixen talking about the women is just stupid. mr jeter is the one that spread it to each of those women to begin with. besides that doesn’t actually mean they have genital herpes…although I’m not saying it isn’t very likely they do. I’m just saying at the descretion of the DR. valtrex and Zovirax can be used to treat a variety of illnesses which are related to but aren’t genital herpes. These include shingles, cold sores, and chicken pox!!! Another point of view to the stupid people “how exactly can you look the type to get herpes”. lol that is so rediculous! herpes doens’t have eyes and I’m sure it isn’t very picky!!! It only takes one time to have sex with someone who has it, to get it.

    amanda on 27 Jul 2009 at 5:45 pm
  15. hmmm… seems like another bitter fat as f*ck blogger sitting in their parent’s basement eating nachos with cheese whiz while farting in his “gamer chair” being all pissy because George Lucas re-released Star Wars with the special editions… oh yea and the reason he’s bitter is because he knows he’ll never get laid by a single chick even half as attractive as some on that list.

    I dunno if I buy it, but anything is possible.

    Mr. Awesome on 28 Jul 2009 at 2:42 pm
  16. I hate stupid people…. If a person catches an STD that does not make them a SLUT or Whore… I have a friend who was married and has been faithful to her husband the entire time. And the ass cheated on her and gave her an STD. So that does not make her a SLUT… U just can’t trust no one… The only way to not get an STD is to use protection and get tested before having sex with a person PERIOD. GET TESTED! I bet half of you have not been TESTED for all STD’s.. Margarita u are an Idiot…

    Whatever on 31 Jul 2009 at 10:12 pm
  17. Janet does NOT have herpes! It was her husband at the time, Rene Elizondo that had herpres

    jdunk on 02 Aug 2009 at 12:36 am
  18. Margarita, Cold Sores ARE HERPES!! They are caused by Herpes Simplex 1 (HSV1) So yes it is true she has Herpes…

    Since 80% of the population has either HSV1 or HSV2 (In some parts of Europe it is about 94%) Then it is compleatly belivable that they have it… Herpes is just way too common… Problem is that 90% of people that have HSV2 are Asymptomatic carriers… which means they don’t have outbreaks but they viral shed the virus and pass it on unknownly…

    Mick on 04 Aug 2009 at 8:46 pm
  19. WTF?!!! Do you people realize that information like this isn’t to give you a reason to look down your noses?!!! I got HSV2 from what I thought was a monogomous relationship!!! No WONDER Janet had Tupac take STD tests before filming Poetic Justice!! She’d already been burned and was scared! I was young, thought I was in love and trusted someone that shouldn’t! I don’t have this grandiose story of affairs to speak of. I didn’t even have the pleasure of sleeping around to justify this life sentence of mine! I’m not dirty, sleep around and careless!!! My only crime was stupidity! To this very day, the man who gave it to me denys having it. I was with this man for years only! My fear is that he’s continuing to spread it like he did to me… If I was smart enough then, I would’ve tried to press charges on him of some sort cause this sh*t can’t be right!!! BTW, all the years I’ve had it, I’ve never transmitted it to ANYONE because I care so much about others. I swear, the sh*t you say about these people could push them right into a pill death cause I’ll be the one to tell you. Herpes is depressing as f*k!! Bad enough, you got voices in your head saying all sorts of “go kill yourself”…then you got folks like you with your half-witted, pseudo intellectual equations and comments? Imagine being victimized by love in such a horrible way…and every attempt at not behaving damaged and to move on, you realize that you will have to tell every person you have feelings for that you think may lead to intimacy. Do you know how f*kin hard it is to face someone who you’re getting to know and one of the first in depth things that you have to tell them is “I got HSV2″? The fear of being rejected in most horrible way or better yet… One more person who knows…God forbid you don’t get married then that’s one more person who could turn on you publically and make your life that more difficult to live.
    “God forbid you might know what it’s like”.

    You mofos should be ashamed…I hope you don’t ever fall in love with someone who doesn’t care more about you than themselves.

    monogomus with herpes on 07 Sep 2009 at 5:51 am
  20. Sorry to hear about your poor choice in relationship choices monogomus with herpes. Usually you can tell when a man is cheating by one of three ways:
    1) the used condoms by your bed that he didn’t use with you;
    2) the large parts of time missing where he’s away from you and can’t explain why or what he was doing;
    3) you see a woman riding him like the worst conjoined twins in history.

    Michael on 10 Sep 2009 at 2:23 pm
  21. If you are sexually active and haven’t been tested for herpes, you really don’t know if you have it or not. Not everyone who has it has experienced symptons. Herpes can be spread without blisters being present. Not everyone who has herpes gets blisters. Somewhere between 20 and 25% of the population has gential herpes HSV2. Then around 80% has HSV1 (mouth cold sores). And guess what…HSV1 can be spread to the genitals through oral sex.

    Condoms do not protect against herpes as a condom only covers a limited skin area.

    All that being said, the worst thing about herpes by FAR is social stigma. It just isn’t that big a deal physically for most people. Having herpes is not a indicator of what kind of person you are. It simply means you had sex with someone who also had it. Saying someone with herpes is a slut etc, is like saying people who used condoms are sluts…there is no correlation.

    The only way to be sure when considering an intimate relationship, is to go get tested. While you’re at it, get the HIV test.

    25% on 10 Sep 2009 at 11:55 pm
  22. Why are there only females on this list. What, no male parity.

    Cody on 12 Sep 2009 at 6:31 pm
  23. Cody, please send me an email with your male list and I will post it on this site for the world to see and share!

    Michael on 18 Sep 2009 at 3:08 pm
  24. MOST of you people are extremely ignorant. Before you judge others, do some reading and know what you’re talking about first.

    hmm on 22 Sep 2009 at 8:32 pm
  25. i dont care if jessica alba has herpes. she has to be the most perfect looking female on the face of this planet through out history even, and has a great personality. I’d say lifetime commitment would be worth it.

    Dave on 25 Sep 2009 at 1:51 am
  26. (the worse thing about herpes is social stigma)

    I can’t believe I read the above statement from one of the posts! HPV 16 and 18 can cause oral, anal, cervical, and nasal cancer, and in extreme cases, penile cancer. These deadly strains have no symptoms and can be transmitted by any sexual contact, even French kissing!
    My neighbor told me his 30 year old male friend was just diagnosed with HPV related oral cancer in his cheek. HPV related oral cancer in men has increased 30%, men have a greater chance of getting HPV related oral cancer, but women are at risk also.
    The bottom line is if a person chooses to have any sexual contact, they are putting themselves at risk for HPV.
    Please don’t take my word for it, do your own research, and then decide if you want risk a deadly HPV infection in exchange for sexual contact.

    wakeuppeople! on 26 Sep 2009 at 4:52 pm
  27. Can’t say I understand why getting an std makes you a nasty slut, or a dirty whore, or what the **** ever. Just because you have one doesn’t mean you’ve slept with a million people, it could simply mean you slept with the wrong person. I have an std, not ashamed of it, I got it from the very first person I had sex with all because he chose not to tell me. And we did use a condom that unfortunately failed. Not coming to any celebrities defense here, but people need to quit being so judgmental. You don’t know every situation.

    kristin on 01 Nov 2009 at 8:48 pm
  28. Listen I have a cousin who has herpes and the only reason she found out was because she had an std check up by blood! she has had it for about 15 years and only had an outbreak once! So I know it’s not good hearing the you have the herpes virus but it doesn’t mean your going to live your life all blistered up! I think it’s just knowing you have it that hurts so much because other than the one time my cousin says she hasn’t had an outbreak since; so people it’s not the worst thing to live with physically maybe mentally but not physically.

    listen on 14 Nov 2009 at 8:38 am
  29. Having an STD DOES NOT MEAN that you slept around. It dosen’t determine who you are or your morals. Just one day you got very unlucky. And the person that gave it to me totally denies it. Jerk. It hasnt cramped my life but it has damn sure made dating ALOT harder. It is a pain to know you have to share this information with anyone.

    Say for instance these rumours have some truth to them….so what? If Jessica Alba has herpes it hasn’t hurt her in the dating department. She is still rich, famous, pretty and with hundred of guys that would not mind dating her-herpes or not.

    And I bet some of you may have an STD and not even know it. HPV is almost as common as breathing right now and many guys carry it without a clue.

    So if you are going to sleep with someone get tested before hand and always use protection. Never take anyone’s word for it!

    Cho on 08 Dec 2009 at 1:40 am
  30. so what do you think?
    i got it from a bf that i thought was totally committed too. nothing i can do now :(
    I never get breakouts or anything. my doc says im totally healthy… i was depressed for a minute but i had to realize life goes on and i am a go getter. i cant sit around n sulk… the only thing is i am in the show biz for a living with a promising career.
    now i am wondering should i try and move foward knowing ill be in the spotlight and i dont want something so small to mess up my career down the road. so frustrating. i have many other talents so i know my career will make it down any avenue but entertaining is my heart…arrrrrrrrrrrrg

    jo do on 28 Dec 2009 at 1:17 am
  31. you can always tell the people who have std’s because they make light of it as if it is not a big deal. i have never had an std, and it is not because i am “lucky”, it is because I protect myself 100% of the time, never had casual sex, and before I even kiss someone we have a date at the dr. to get checked out, together. i’m not saying infected people shouldn’t carry on with your life, but quit diminishing the part you played in catching and possibly infecting others with diseases. i look at it this way- i was born with a perfectly healthy and disease free body- why would I risk catching something that is 100% preventable? some of you are too embarrassed to demand protection and std screening from the person you are with, but you will sleep with them to possibly catch something you can’t get rid of? woman/man up- if you aren’t adult enough to make these things a priority and demand that they take place, then you are not adult enough to be having sex in the first place. there is nothing wrong with abstaining until you can initiate these sometimes awkward conversations, or better yet until you are happily married.

    stlrapper on 05 Jan 2010 at 12:14 am
  32. do you guys realize its really only bad when you have genital herpes? the cold sore is a cousin of herpes maybe you guys should try looking up your facts. and they can’t prove they have herpes until they get proof and watching someone buy stuff or rumors aren’t facts. but yes some of these celebrities are true, but not all.

    ohhheyyy on 07 Jan 2010 at 8:38 pm
  33. Alba can give me Herpes any day of the week lol

    whatda on 12 Jan 2010 at 8:48 am
  34. I have genital herpes, and for me the physical effects rarely manifest. I have only had a single outbreak, and even though the person I got it from was asymptomatic, I got it not because they lied about having it, but they just decided not to put it on. I know it sounds stupid, but in the dark, after having worn it repeatedly, you just get used to trusting someone to have it on. That night he decided we didn’t need anything to protect us because “he didn’t like wearing a condom.” I’m not fully blaming him for giving this thing to me, but try and remember its never fully your fault for having it. Similarly, it is not exclusively the disease of sluts and party girls; you are always at risk, because 80% of the population of North America will have herpes, and of those, 90% will show no symptoms. And of those who are infected, I am proud to say that I am not the ‘disco slut’ stereotype. I’m living compromised, not crippled.

    SilentSuffering on 17 Jan 2010 at 4:28 pm
  35. Many people with std find their love on http//:www.pozspaces.com just like
    me. even though i thought life was over when i found i has herpes! i hope you can also find your lover !!

    chloe on 02 Feb 2010 at 9:54 am
  36. Damn…I was just checking treatments for herpes cuz I just got it…I thought I knew who gave it to me for his relationship with Paris Hilton but I can see maybe he got it from Scarlet J…
    Those things HAVE TO TELL THEM before having sex with someone!!

    alba on 13 Feb 2010 at 9:33 pm
  37. to wakeuppeople: you idiot, herpes isn’t HPV. HPV causes genital warts and has nothing to do with Herpes. Herpes is HSV. And yes, the social stigma is worse than any physical effects. I have never had any symptoms from my HSV 2, not what I’m aware of anyway.

    em on 25 Feb 2010 at 4:54 pm
  38. Juast because they show some blisters on the mouth doesn’t mean they got herpes..because there are herpers simple which shows mostly on the mouth and its NOT venereal. there is another one that is transmitted by kids in school even by pacifer to pacifier..this one is bad but no venereal..which explains why you see preteen or virgins teens with burt in the lips. now how about that> just protect and do a test before doing anything.

    sarah on 05 Mar 2010 at 12:28 pm
  39. its funny how people take the time to be so judgmental on things they nothing about it is a scary situation to think that herpes is as common as it is and i hate to tell u this kids but cold sores is a form of herpes hspv1 genital hspv2 which is more common than most i go and get a pap done every year even if i haven’t had sex (that doesn’t mean i am slut so don’t even go there) because u can have an std for years and not know it. I hate that the kids nowadays start having sex so early and im worried about my child getting it because honestly a man is not gonna wanna rap it up or whatever if the people that have the virus need to let there partners know the next step is hiv and is that how our existence is gonna end in sexually transmitted diseases… really ?? i don’t want to go out like that ps why must people bash others about this situation dont you think they have enough to deal with its ridiculous!!!

    concernd mother on 09 Mar 2010 at 1:38 am
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