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Top 10 hottest celebrities infected with STDs

Most popular suicide destinations Using scientific methodology we have taken the most attractive celeberities infected with STD’s and determined which are the most attractive. Each subject was given a total score or DRrf or Disease Risk Reward Factor taking account for physical appearance, wealth, and disease severity…

Jessica Alba

Destination Truth

Using the STD rating system which accounts for severity of disease, likelyhood of infection, wealth and looks (see Figure-8 below the list) Jessica is the most desirable disease riddled starlet.

Her disease was apparently given to her by Derek Jeter. A former employee of her ex-boyfriend Cash Warren used to go out on runs and refill her Valtrex prescription on a regular basis

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
91% 9 $18m Herpes

Kristanna Loken

Destination Truth

Reportedly Kritanna passed the gift that keeps giving it to her boyfriend, Justin Whalin. Her most memorable role was as the female terminator in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Being a converted fashion model the less she speaks the better when acting.

Loken stated in an interview with Curve magazine, "I have dated and have had sex with men and women and have to say that the relationships I have had with certain women have been much more fulfilling, sexually and emotionally, than of those with certain men… I connect with an aura, with energy. And if the person with whom I connect happens to be a female, that’s just the way it is. That’s what makes my wheels turn."

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
90% 9 $3m Herpes

Pamela Anderson

Destination Truth

Pamela Anderson is making strong progress in her battle against Hepatitis C – her doctor has declared her fitter and healthier at 40 than she’s ever been in her life. In 2003, Anderson claimed she was not expected to live for more than 10 or 15 years after contracting the disease from ex-husband Tommy Lee – but last October the former Baywatch star announced her determination to defy all odds and cure the virus completely.

Her numbers would be higher, but her looks are on the downhill slope and she can’t rely on her acting skills to pay her phone bill.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
84.7% 8 $75m Hepatitis-C

Victoria Beckham

Destination Truth

Victoria Beckham the former Spice Girl turned freakish alien example of plastic surgery gone too far (ala Michael Jackson) would be the wealthiest on this list if her and her husband didn’t manage money like Fannie Mae. The poster couple for nouveau riche jet sets around the world buying up orchards and reportedly Victoria aka "Poche Spice" sports a seven million dollar ring.

Victoria probably picked up the Herp from one of her husband’s thousand plus groupie count.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
72.8% 6.5 $125m Herpes

Paris Hilton

Destination Truth

Paris neglected to pay off her bills for a storage unit and her belongings were auctioned off. Thanks once again to that storage locker which held more secrets than the chest in Raiders of the Lost Ark, a medical record/prescription info insert emerged for a drug called Valtrex, which is used to treat outbreaks of genital herpes.

The troubled celebutante, sort of actress, sort of singer was formerlly a professional heiress was but written out of the will for her crazy antics. That cost her more than fifty million dollars and at least two spots on this list.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
70.6 7 $12m Herpes

Lindsey Lohan

Destination Truth

This former child model went on to become a late-teen Disney movie star to wild party girl with not much of an acting future. By all accounts she has given up men and is set to marry Samantha Ronson within a year.

Prior to switching teams Lohan went through more male actors than a catering truck. She has recently taken a break from acting to drive under the influence and get back her girlish figure in rehab centers.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
70.5% 7 $7m Herpes

Alyssa Milano

Destination Truth

Her career has tapered off since two succesful TV shows (Charmed and Who’s The Boss) and her career is mostly limited to B Movies and the Sci-Fi Channel.

She is sweet, loves sports and visits the troops so with her good looks you could probably put up with the odd flare up.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
70.4% 7 $8m Herpes

Britney Spears

Destination Truth

Britney’s well telivised downward spiral has led her to wake up in more than one strange bed after a drug filled evening of partying. This former member of the Mickey Mouse Club even kissed Madonna on the lips, and that’s roughly equivelent to locking lips with a half dozen Bangkok prostitutes. She has been doucmented buying Zovirax in Kentwood.

The head shaving, well publicised drug problems, losing her children to Kevin Federline and massive weight gain have all taken their toll on her career and more importantly her cash supplies.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
69.9% 6.5 $80m Herpes

Janet Jackson

Destination Truth

Janet Jackson had a list of her perscriptons leaked online. Here is a link from smoking gun with her actual perscription for Zovirax (an antiviral drug, a synthetic nucleoside analogue, that is active against the herpes viruses,)

She has the highest wealth on the list but looks too much like her child fondling brother Michael to score too high on this list. Besides at 42 she is one of the oldest on this list and is prone to massive (Oprah-esque) weight gains.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
69.4% 6 $150m Herpes

Katie Holmes

Destination Truth

Katie seems like a nice enough child bride in the happy Scientology family. She would rank higher in wealth, but signed a $40 million dollar prenuptual agreement with Tom Cruise. I think for $40 million I would let the man nearly twice her age slobber all over me and give me herpes.

2008 STATS
STD RATING Looks Wealth STD
68.1% 6.5 $50m Herpes

Formula

DRrf or Disease Risk Reward Factor aka (STD Ranking) calculated where:

x External Bodily Attraction Factor (0-10) Dp Disease Probability Percentage
y Wealth in Millions Ds Disease Severity Percentage
Starlett Looks Wealth* STD
Probability
STD Disability STD Ranking
Jessica Alba
9
$18
80%
40%
91.04
Kristanna Loken
9
$3
75%
40%
90.09
Pamela Anderson
8
$75
100%
80%
84.71
Victoria Beckham
6.5
$125
80%
40%
72.85
Paris Hilton
7
$12
90%
40%
70.65
Lindsey Lohan
7
$10
80%
40%
70.53
Alyssa Milano
7
$8
80%
40%
70.40
Britney Spears
6.5
$80
85%
40%
69.98
Janet Jackson
6
$150
90%
40%
69.43
Katie Holmes
6.5
$50
90%
40%
68.07

*Wealth in Millions (US Dollar)

If left unchecked this promiscuous vixens aren’t just a threat to Hollywood – they are a threat to the general public. If we can’t control these celebrities the entire world will be infected with STD’s at least three months before the planet melts and we die from global warming. These worst case computer models show just how real the threat to the country is:
Hollywood Tree

 

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Celebrity, Humor, News, Retarded, Science

 

110 Responses to “Top 10 hottest celebrities infected with STDs”

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  2. Whatever they have done, please do not to touch our bodies, we know that it is very difficult to eliminate herpes and we have to know that the progress of vaccine research is very limited… found herpes things here .. one minute herpes cure .. Thanks

    Wan on 01 Oct 2013 at 2:08 am
  3. Hello everyone I am here to tell shed light on the ignorance and stigmatization of this skin virus that I carry. I have hsv-2 known as genital herpes. I was diagnosed in june 2013 and was surprised by the results. First some background on me. I have had 2 partners in my 24 years of life. The 2nd which was my boyfriend is the one that gave me the virus. I read a post earlier that someone mentioned that said herpes is 100 percent preventable. Not true. I went through the right steps and did all the right things and still got the virus. I had me and my partner both tested for all std including herpes…negative. Used condoms 100 percent of time even for oral sex i used dental dams and still got the virus…here is how. My boyfriend right before he met me had protected sex with a ex girlfriend who at the time did not know she had herpes. he got it from protected sex but had a false negative because the antibodies did not build up yet. So we had a false sense of security thinking that he was clear when he wasn’t. I ended up getting the virus 4 months after having a relationship with him so you can imagine the frustration and disbelief we had. We boiled it down to the fact he had sex with her right before me and him became exclusive. The moral of this story is to show all of the judgmental, it could never happen to me people that it indeed can happen to the most safe and honest people out there. I am one of them. The next time you decided to deduce the fact that someone with herpes must have been a slut, irresponsible, etc. Just remember my story because even with all the precautions i took here i am. I am not here to downplay this virus it has been tough more mentally then anything because of the stigma but every day i look in the mirror i don’t see some pariah or dirty person because I am not any of those things. I am not a victim either. I took responsibility for my sexual health and my contracting of this disease. Believe it or not with proper precautions and medication i have a 1 percent chance of passing it on to a potential partner. whew what a relief 🙂 I feel good knowing that I am a safer choice for someone versus someone who doesn’t know or doesn’t care to tell then you. with these dishonest people you have a higher probability of transmission. to everyone with herpes please remember that you are still a person, a human being with a heart not some freak or leper. To those without herpes have compassion for your fellow man. Im not saying get herpes…absolutely not but please get informed and stop treating people with herpes as second class citizens just because they have a virus that millions of others in this world has. let’s stop the stigma and learn to love and look at one another as being equal. good day everyone and god bless!

    unbelieveable on 27 Oct 2013 at 4:04 pm
  4. Slut!

    Reddit on 29 Nov 2014 at 10:35 pm
  5. Pay the negative people no mind. Bless you for sharing your story. It helps those who don’t have it to understand more about it. I appreciate it and thank you.

    lynn on 21 Mar 2015 at 9:41 pm
  6. I’d Still Suck On Jessica Alba’s Puzzy & Phuck Kristanna Loken & Alyssa Milano!

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