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What will Oprah do when she retires?

Oprah retirement Oprah Winfrey has announced her retirement from her popular TV show in 2011. The question all of us loyal fans have on our minds is just what will the queen of daytime do once she gives up her crown?

Replace Biden as Vice President
Allahland Joe Biden is a liability with medical problems and Oprah would bring a ringer in as a popular woman for his 2012 re-election. The 2011 date for her retirement is no coincidence.

Retard Factor:

Pull a Brett Favre and Un-Retire
Allahland Sure she promised to retire but celebrities pull that crap all the time. She’ll be just like Brett Favre pull an emotional retirement then show up on another channel for new money next season.

Retard Factor:

Establish Her Own Religion
Allahland She has millions under her spell and can only make so much through her talk show. The solution form her own religion and rake in the cash.

Retard Factor:

Professional Eating Competitor
Allahland With a love of food and a competitive desire that won’t quit she will combine the two and go on the professional eater’s circuit.

Retard Factor:

Reveal She’s a Man
Allahland This recently uncovered picture shows Chicago cross dresser Oscar Green AKA Oprah Winfrey. Masquerading as a woman this real life Tootsie will reveal to the world a rather large surprise.

Retard Factor:

Return to Acting Full-Time
Allahland Obsessed with hollywood stars on her show Oprah can’t wait to dominate the big screen after decades on the small screen.

Retard Factor:

Create Book Publishing Empire
Allahland Oprah’s book club has led the media mogul into a abnormal fixation with books. She plans on opening her own book publishing house and single-handedly revive the struggling industry or waste every penny she’s ever made.

Retard Factor:

Tryout For the NFL’s Buffalo Bills
Allahland Years of working out, and rumors of steroid abuse will lead this diva to push her bulky body onto the field to become the first woman to play in the NFL.

Retard Factor:

Open All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants
Allahland Fat women like to eat, and Oprah is going to cash in big time with a chain of all you can eat restaurants. The hook is the restaurants allow you to take home food and will be the only place you can see her simulcast daily.

Retard Factor:

Reveal She’s White
Allahland Yes Oprah Winfrey is a fraud, after years of failing to make it caucasian reporter Winnefred Goldberg donned a black persona and rocketed to fame.

Retard Factor:


Oprah Winfrey to retire in 2011 from B&C News.

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Celebrity, Retarded


8 Responses to “What will Oprah do when she retires?”

  1. I guess she could do whatever she wants to do. she earned it , i remember her from when she worked in baltimore years ago,so she has been around for a while, can you remember phil donohue the man she up seated to be the queen of day time talk.I just hope she is Happy…

    nolan upshaw on 11 Sep 2009 at 3:47 am
  2. Ms. Winfrey founding her own publishing agency isn’t far-fetched. I know she’d be perfect, and, with her track record, she would explore all facets. And help others while doing so. I also feel she’ll alwalys have her special projects: bringing aid to needy children, being supportive with young women less fortunate, becoming more involved politically, (standing firm on issues such as domestic violence; education; our inherent, (and inherited), deserved American freedoms. I feel Ms. Oprah is more than capable for many endeavors, and will excel while remaining spiritually strong.
    And, I pray, she’ll have many hours of well-deserved relaxation and FUN!!!
    Sincerely, and God Blesses You, Tessa*

    Tessa on 11 Sep 2009 at 8:49 am
  3. Oprah, retire , enjoy life and help people who need it(this will satisfy your spiritual side),do a couple of Oprah specials an year.

    Mohammed Shah on 11 Sep 2009 at 12:32 pm
  4. I believe,Come out of the closet, stop with the sexual enuendos, and just admit that her “BFF”, Gail, is really been her lover for years…… i mean why not, if shes not on the show, then she probaly wont get bothered as much. I mean we all know it, and i think she has earned the right do whatever she wants… she’s Oprah Man!

    Elizabeth on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:37 pm
  5. who really cares. It is unbelievable how the news channels control people in this country. What a joke, who really cares if Opray retires, I have never sat for a complete opray show ever….or in 25 years. Never new she was on for 25 years. This country is in trouble exactly because of this reason. Hype sells and its all about the money in this country. Just look at your local congressman, if you really believe they are looking at your best interest , your very ignorent and need an education. You can bet this email will never make it to the internet because they are screened. Anyway I feel better abut my email because it tells the truth and the media controls that as well.

    billy goat on 20 Nov 2009 at 5:10 pm
  6. I don’t know why she would want to retire except maybe she feels it’s time for her to have a life. We, meaning the public have been her life for the past 20 years. She can spend the rest of her life in luxury and who are we to deny her that after all, she is OPRAH!!!!

    Jessica on 23 Nov 2009 at 12:40 pm
  7. She’ll be back, like all of them

    Pat on 08 Sep 2010 at 10:28 pm
  8. The pages look great. I used to scrapbook, but over the last few years, I just ha;v&n#39et taken the time and rarely take pictures that don't just end up on my computer. But these look neat.

    Fanny on 29 Apr 2016 at 1:47 pm

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