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Retards guide to why you need health insurance

Retards Guide to Why You Need Health Insurance Not having health insurance and not planning to commit suicide is like driving without car insurance. Here are the top ten retarded reasons you should have health insurance.

Could Lose Home
Without health insurance you can lose your home because you will be responsible for the full cost. Hospitals will go after your home and let’s face it being homeless sucks. Without regular access to a shower and a washing machine you simply won’t be getting any chicks coming home to see your refrigerator box pad. 1

Hospital Bills Could Cost More than Ferrari
A serious medical problem can easily run you a few hundred thousand dollars. You are looking at about US$200,000 for the "entry" model F430, and the prices go up from there. How many chicks can a new liver get you versus a Ferrari – think about it. 2
That Rash Could be Something Bad

Let’s be honest that blotchy rash on your private parts hasn’t cleared up in a few months and it’s not an allergic reaction. If something is wrong with you without insurance you will put it off too long and something will probably fall off.

Pre-Existing Illnesses
Any medical problem that’s ongoing can make you uninsurable because of it’s pre-existing. So you need to have insurance before anything bad happens or you simply can’t buy it. 4
Too Hard to Fake Being Illegal
Most hospitals actually have someone screen patients and simply don’t bill illegal aliens that don’t have money. You can try faking being an illegal alien, but unless you are really good makeup artist they’ll figure it out and bill you. 5
Better Hospitals Require Insurance
Private hospitals have better doctors and are less crowded than public ones. That extra care could be the difference between life and death not to mention having to divert you to a public hospital miles away that doesn’t require health insurance. 6
People With Insurance Live Longer
People with health insurance live longer so if you want to actually be around to see social security go bankrupt and learn to panhandle with a walker you’ll need it. 7
Canada Too Cold / England Bad Too
Canada is too cold and boring and England only has about three days of sunshine per year. All of the countries with decent socialized medicine are located in geographically undesirable areas. 8
Insured Live Healthier
Insured people don’t just live longer they live better. If you’re a guy and have a beer belly you could have high blood pressure. The wonders of medicine could be yours with wonder cures for high blood pressure, erectile dysfunction, prescription glasses and even bed wetting. Come leave the third world of the uninsured and enjoy all the benefits of medical care with health insurance. 9
Price Comparisons Saves Cash
Price shopping on a big screen TV can save hundreds, and so can health insurance. Health Insurance is like car insurance where prices and coverage vary wildly. And without a friendly gecko to guide you you’ll need some online tools to help you pick Health Insurance Quotes. 10

Start hunting for health insurance now and quit ignoring those chest pains and medicating yourself with chocolate pudding.


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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Retarded, Tips & Tricks


One Response to “Retards guide to why you need health insurance”

  1. Hello, my name is Brian Rubin, and I represent the website at online-health-insurance.com, Health Insurance Online. I’m leaving this comment to ask that you remove this post and all links contained therein, please, at your earliest convenience. Thank you.

    Brian Rubin on 30 Jul 2009 at 6:18 pm

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