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10 Reasons BINGO should be banned

BINGO should be bannedSure BINGO sounds innocent, but this invidious sport is taking a heavy toll on society and should be made illegal or heavily taxed like other forms of gambling. Sure it’s not as bad as toddler fighting but it’s only slightly more humane than organized goldfish fighting.

Puts Gambling (and Devil) in Churches

Satan has worked his sinful evil into the hallowed grounds of churches with his dirty, dirty gambling through bingo.

Upside: Fewer people are going to church every year so it’s becoming less of an issue.


Takes Old People’s Medical Care Money
With healthcare costs soaring every dollar could be the difference between life and death with life saving medicine.

Upside: Old people are creating a huge burden on the system living longer and costing more money – so older retirees dying earlier only helps the economy.

Gateway Drug to Hardcore Gambling

BINGO is a soft gateway drug but gets people pulling slot machines then losing their mortgage on lawnmower racing.

Upside: Lottery tickets and other legal gambling help pay for our schools, at a rate of at least one ten thousandth of a penny per dollar.

Marketed Towards Children

With a catchy theme song and simple rules the very game is marketed for children, or the nearly children mentally.

Upside: It teaches kids to count to 64 or higher.

Supports Child Molesters

BINGO games help support the largest organized ring of child molesters in the world.

Upside: The churches do some good, and illegal aliens can only give so much.

For Those Who Can’t Figure Out Slot Machines

BINGO is the easiest form of gambling on the planet, making slot machines look like graduate school and blackjack like nuclear physics.

Upside: BINGO aka the Special Olympics of gambling lets everyone lose money regardless of literacy or upper level mental function.

Frivolous Expenditure During Recession
With unemployment, investments, home prices, and the stock market taking we simply can’t afford extra expenses like BINGO.

Upside: The home version is free, and for the churches they need the BINGO funds with charity giving facing extra taxation.

You Might Gain Weight

The sedentary sport of BINGO makes people gain weight, even making horse racing gamblers look trim by comparison with all of their walking around.

Upside: With the tough economy we can’t be wasting extra calories walking around and exercising anyway.

Can Cost Your Life
Suicide from gambling and even an early death from gambling obesity can cause an early death for the the BINGO crowd.

Upside: With the environment facing demise with global working we need as many people dying as possible to save the planet.

There is no Cure for Gambling

Unlike other diseases like some of the ones I caught at the massage parlor there is no cure for gambling.

Upside: None of the really fun diseases have cures either.


If you do have to gamble either do it from home for free or online through some place like BingoPort.co.uk. Because we all know online is the best way to meet attractive mail order brides or have your own at home business that can make you millions a year for doing nothing.

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Humor, Retarded



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