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Top 10 Swine Flu conspiracy theories

Swine Flu Conspiracy Theories The entire world is gripped by the outbreak of the human form of swine flu, which the number of suspected swine flu cases in Mexico has climbed to 1,614, including 103 deaths. Our team of scientists, doctors, researchers and janitorial staff have come up with the 10 most likely sources for the virus AKA conspiracy theories.

Baxter / Drug Makers

Baxter Corporation makes the only cure for the Swine Virus and is facing massive layoffs and a sea of red ink. Like all evil corporations in movies they are behind the whole evil plot to make money in a massive conspiracy that goes all the way to the top.

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1

TV Networks

Sagging TV News ratings and plummeting ad revenues are already forcing massive layoffs. Without a huge increase in ratings TV news could go the way of the newspaper. Using press passes they got access to government labs with the virus and spread the virus using their Mexican affiliates.

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2
Anti-Immigration Forces

With democrats moving forward on legalizing illegals, anti-immigration forces had no options left. The flu will close the borders once and for all, and reduce the population trying to get over the border in one ‘final solution’.

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3
PETA

Finally sick of Humans enslaving their animal brothers PETA launched the outbreak hoping to end meat production once and for all. Part of their endmeat strategy that included the bird flu and mad cow people will swear off meat for good.

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4
Al Qaeda

This almost makes a lot of sense, Mexico is much easier to attack and Muslims hate pigs. With Mexicans working everywhere they are literally the modern day rat capable of spreading plague across the planet of infidels.

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5
George Bush

With the democrats in control the 9/11 Mastermind had lots of time on his hands. Watching all of the positive Obama coverage finally pushed him over the edge and he used his Haliburton ties to launch the secret Mexican attack.

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6
Surgical Mask Producers
Like General Motors surgical mask producers were sitting on huge inventories and facing bankruptcy. Unlike GM they had easy access to medical supplies and the medical expertise necessary. The outbreak could lead to the largest manufacturing runs for surgical masks in world history.

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7
Drug Cartels

With a standing army nearly the same size as the government the drug cartels lack the heavy artillery to finish off the Mexican Army.The cartels have the money, resources and reason to launch this outbreak.

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8
Labor Unions
Labor unions with employees costing dozens of times more than their Mexican counterparts go on the offensive and spread the virus. In a desperate bid for survival against third world workers millions of extra dollars in union dues towards the project.

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9
Anti-Catholic Forces

Catholicism is on the verge of dying out — everywhere except for Mexico. Without the faithful Mexicans Catholic churches across the country would be empty. Anti-Catholic forces realize this and realize the only way to close the churches was to attack them at their source (Mexico) like killing vampires.

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10
BONUS THEORY: Doctors

With rising costs and a looming recession a splinter group from the American Medical Association released the disease to save their expensive cars and homes from foreclosure. Once news of the swine flu hit the cable news the treatable disease would put anyone with a cough or a temperature in the doctor’s office.

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11

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Retarded, Science

 

124 Responses to “Top 10 Swine Flu conspiracy theories”

  1. None of the options are correct which is why im not surprised to find this on a website named “retardzone”. When analyzing the conspiracy look at the big picture: The global elitists and corporations, not only “Big Pharma”. For instance, to understand any conspiracy you have to know how the world works and all the bureaucracies behind it in several different aspects including Virology, Vaccination History, Dr Jeffery Tautenberger and the Armed Forces Institute of Pathology. Politics, Economics, Corporate investors, Globalism, Elite globalists, Rockefeller Foundation, Rothschild Group, Bilderberg Group etc.

    This concept definitely takes some deep thought and a vast knowledge. They have conditioned the general public against these conspiracy theories through mass media. Evidently people will not even do their own research before labeling concepts beyond their own intellect, “conspiracy theories”. The only terrorists are these so-called patriots who look around and do nothing, and believe everything the media tells them like a herd of cattle.
    blind, lost, people…

    JosephPersico on 19 Jan 2010 at 8:53 pm
  2. I am a freelancer working on the Late Show with Ian Collins here on talkSPORT, the UK’s only national commercial speech radio station.

    It’s our flagship current affairs programme that goes out nationally and this Sunday 18th March we are going to be discussing the Swine flu pandemic and the conspiracies behind the disease / the spreading of it.

    I was wondering if you would be available for a telephone interview at 7:30pm Eastern America time / 4.30pm Western America time on Sunday afternoon / evening to talk to the presenter Ian Collins about this? It would be fantastic to get your view about the subject on our show.

    The interview would be one to one with the presenter and last for 10 – 15 minutes.

    Let me know your thoughts and I look forward to hearing from you.

    Best Wishes,

    Izzy.

    Izzy on 14 Apr 2010 at 10:45 am
  3. Yes a really insightful article.

    Jezzer on 28 Apr 2010 at 5:48 pm
  4. So, now that the W.H.O. has officially declared the swine flu non-epidemic over, what have you to say for all the retards that got their shots for no reason and the government and said people who wasted good, honest, intelligent folks’ hard-earned money? What have you to say?? Retard Factor: Infinity.
    I’ll honk at you while you’re in line during the Mouse Flu epidemic, retards.

    Joseph Smith on 16 Aug 2010 at 1:13 pm
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    CHA0S on 16 Oct 2010 at 12:26 pm
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