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10 biggest tattoo mistakes

Bad Tattos Tattoos are like people, there are countless different types and some of them are so annoying you wish you could just burn them off the face of the planet. At RetardZone our researchers came up with the ten most annoying categories of tattoos using Google and countless hours they should have been working during…

The Paragraph
The paragraph also known as tattoo verbal diarrhea is for people who can’t get to a point. If crazy rambling women who won’t shut up about their feelings and how they don’t like you sticking things in unusual places this is what they’d look like.

Retard Factor:


Fake Tribal Membership
Sadly just because you copy a piece of tribal artwork without the obligatory painful initiation and or being related to someone in the tribe doesn’t actually make you a tribal member. Although many colleges will accept your new minority status without asking for paperwork because that would be racist.

Retard Factor:

The Inmate

If you want to look like someone who either spent a long time in jail or should have this is the look for you. It’s not fair, but most juries will convict you simply because they are scared you might kill them in their sleep if they let you off.

Retard Factor:

Illegal Use of a Body Part

When bad taste meets unusual shapes on your body this look is for you. You can make your wholes and crevices into giant 3D practical jokes on your body.

Retard Factor:

The Frightener

The frightener is for someone who wants to scare small children and never wants to make it past a first job interview. If you want halloween to last every day of the year in possibly carcinogenic permanent ink this is the look for you.

Retard Factor:


Spelling Victim

Surprisingly, most spelling bee champions and English majors in college shy away from careers as tattoo artists. Some tips to avoid this permanent spelling mistake:

  • Give artist a quick spelling test.
  • Try writing the text on your head in marker to help out.
  • Avoid the cheapest tattoo artist – you get what you pay for.

    Retard Factor:

Drawn with a Crayon
If crayons could permanently scar your body this is what it would look like. Colors that look like an ugly block of mexican houses and artwork that belongs in a coloring book are the two ingredients needed to make this look.

Retard Factor:

The Billboard

The billboard is like the fence in downtown with hundreds of posters on it. If you want your body to look like an old lady’s eclectic novelty crap collection this is the look for you. Rather than getting one nice one get lots of bad cheap ones and try to overcompensate for quality with quantity.

Retard Factor:

Sideshow Freak
This is a category of tattoos who says they don’t care what the world thinks but still wants all of them to stare at them and draw attention to themselves. If you never plan on having a real job or normal friends this is the look for you.

Retard Factor:

Unintentionally Terrifying Portrait

People is one one of the hardest things to draw, and the free market isn’t enough to stop everyone who sucks from attempting portrait tattoos. Lawsuits and federally licensed drawing tests could help thin the untalented herd.

Retard Factor:


Before you run out and get a tattoo you should consider the consequences and avoid any of these stupid ideas. Most of all go to a decent place that doesn’t accept coupons from TGI Fridays or let your friends try out any homemade tattoo machines unless they have tried it out on themselves or at least three other people first.

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Factoid, Retarded


41 Responses to “10 biggest tattoo mistakes”

  1. I’m going to get a tattoo… I was thinking of a short bus.

    Michael on 21 May 2009 at 4:09 pm
  2. **** you losers tattoos are expressing yourself through art there beautiful your just a bunch of ****s with no sense beauty and you should kill yourselfs

    john jackup on 27 May 2009 at 8:31 pm
  3. John, I bet you’re unemployable.

    C on 19 Jun 2009 at 7:22 am
  4. i got a tatto on the side of my legs of a squirl it keeps try to get my nuts

    i beat my meat every 15 minutes on 01 Jul 2009 at 7:06 pm
  5. Hello John Jackup, meet my friends Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling. Why don’t you all make nice.

    Kendall on 31 Jul 2009 at 1:41 pm
  6. Tyson is a twat head.

    tyson on 30 Sep 2009 at 2:23 am
  7. Anyone with a tattoo is either a masochis, a moron, or both. They all look like a muddy mess after a couple of years. What they really show is that no one ever lost money underestimating the taste or intelligence of the general public.

    Slrman on 12 Oct 2009 at 11:55 am
  8. OK it is MASOCHIST, damn spell checker is not dependable.

    Slrman on 12 Oct 2009 at 11:56 am
  9. There are so many spelling mistakes in this article, I can’t believe the author had the balls to post it!

    shalozan on 17 Oct 2009 at 6:25 am
  10. “People are” not “people is” if you are going to make an article making fun of people then don’t make mistakes like that.

    Awita on 20 Oct 2009 at 8:05 pm
  11. Good lord man! The tattoos are stupid and some are offensive, but nothing is as offensive as your use of a handicapped parking placard and the word “retard”. Not even close to funny…

    LubbockGayMale on 21 Oct 2009 at 7:27 am
  12. The placard is actually taken from a very good likeness to the one that adorns the rear-view mirror of my car. Though nobody would ever given me a number on it that gave me a chance to believe I was competing in anything like the lucky tattoo people above.

    Long live the retarded (and by retarded, I mean ME!).

    Michael on 22 Oct 2009 at 4:56 pm
  13. You forgot my favorite one. The incorrectly or poorly drawn Oriental characters.

    Sean on 05 Nov 2009 at 8:06 pm
  14. I had a tattoo on my inner thigh of a little mouse. A couple days after I got it, it disappeared! I think my pussy ate it!

    Sue on 06 Nov 2009 at 10:20 am
  15. doesn’t ANYONE use the built-in spell checker? God u suck!

    jon on 09 Nov 2009 at 10:27 pm
  16. Sue, I think that you should re-post the warning sign on your knee letting others know of the potential danger within.

    Michael on 10 Nov 2009 at 1:20 pm
  17. Just because you don’t mind calling yourself retarded, that doesn’t mean you have the right to do so in a way that will hurt other people. And just because you hate tattoos, that doesn’t give you the right to say that everybody who has them is an idiot.

    Celia on 11 Jan 2010 at 2:21 pm
  18. Handicapped sticker for “retard” level? You sir, are a waste of oxygen.

    BillV on 19 Jan 2010 at 10:43 am
  19. Wow, look at all the sensitive suzys coming out for the retards.

    Cry some more, the retards will come give you a hug.

    B-Rad on 26 Jan 2010 at 1:00 pm
  20. You ever heard something called ‘sarcasm’ Celia? he means, he is handicapped. Gosh….

    shey on 13 Feb 2010 at 6:33 pm
  21. This site totally makes me want a tattoo! Hells yeah. And you are right, women are nothing but pussies when it comes to pain. Last time I was raping a bitch all she did was cry! You know where I’m coming from, Jerome, right?

    Shawn on 19 Feb 2010 at 9:20 pm
  22. “If crazy rambling women who won’t shut up about their feelings and how they don’t like you sticking things in unusual places this is what they’d look like.”

    Does anyone else see that there’s a piece of this sentence missing? It’s an if-then statement, and there’s no “then”.

    Rose on 12 Apr 2010 at 10:19 pm
  23. who fin cares about his mistakes ist hillaaaaarious XD

    go away! on 15 Apr 2010 at 2:54 pm
  24. Yeah, I don’t really care about the spelling errors, or the use of the word “retard”. I enjoyed looking at the collection of pictures and the video. It is very frustrating (yet hilarious at some times) to see such poorly chosen, and poorly executed tattoos. Many tattoos can come out beautiful, and stay beautiful, if they’re done correctly. Blah Blah Blah…

    BAM on 06 May 2010 at 11:55 pm
  25. “I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, OK, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.”

    ZOG on 22 Jun 2010 at 6:26 pm
  26. Could you be anymore racist or sexist? Maybe that’s the image you’re going for.

    Debbie on 25 Jun 2010 at 9:50 am
  27. What an interesting way to spend one’s life…. in pursuit of the lowest common denominator. By the way: Retarded- slowed or delayed in development. I think you’re projecting…. just a thought.

    Dawn on 26 Jun 2010 at 10:43 pm
  28. you people have way to much time on you’re hands, why do you care so much about what people who you are never going to meet and know nothing about do? and why so judgmental? man cant we all just get along?

    ashley on 16 Aug 2010 at 2:05 pm
  29. How can you say that these people are freaks. I do not currently have a tattoo but I am waiting for something in my life that is exemplary and that thing will be on my body. I am not a satanist, freak, or a weirdo. I’m also not high strung like most of the people commenting negative things here. Let people be people. If the Lizard Man wishes to be the Lizard Man, then let him be. Don’t lie, you wouldn’t mind meeting that guy. Tattoo’s have been going for a very, very long time and I promise that it is not going to stop any time soon. You think that the people in Africa who do punctures and cuts are insane too, right? That has been going on way longer than your influence on this planet. Instead of judging people by what may be on them, why not attempt at getting to know them instead. I’m sure I sound like the craziest person you have ever been shut down by on the internet but really the people who sit around judging others to the extremes that some of you are, are the ones who are crazy. Who are you to say anything about… anything. Tattoos are a part of acceptable social norms so really what are you all freaking out about. Stick to your 9-5 and be closed off to experiencing new things. The rest of us will have to have fun for you.

    Jonathan on 13 Dec 2010 at 8:33 pm
  30. First off, I will make mistakes in my spelling and use wrong words or expressions, I’m french, and don’t really care if you want to use that against me… (at least I make efforts to be understandable.) Second, is adressed to ZOG, you are very disrespectful, sexist and shallow. And most of the others have no freakin’ idea what they are talking about! If you don’t have a tattoo, then maybe you don’t know what the whole deal is all about… I have at least 7 tattoos (It’s hard to count the additions to a back piece), each and every single pieces I have are representative of something in my life. Those ugly black spots on my wrist (from your point of view) are the most meaningfull I have, I am proud of having them and will never regret them! People judge other peoples tattoos and shoulden’t because you have no clue of the meaning they have to them. And third, my favorite saying, tattoos are the window who lets people who understand see our soul and can also be the layer of protection which protects us of the idiots who can’t see past the surface! And about the retard sign…. it’s as judgemental as most of the comments on this page!

    Julie on 19 Jan 2011 at 9:59 am
  31. “I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, OK, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.”

    ZOG, of course she is capable of making decisions she’ll regret in the future if she decides to be around you!

    Julie on 19 Jan 2011 at 10:04 am
  32. @ Jonathan – I 100% agree, each to their own
    tattoos are an expression of a person not a piece for stuck up bitches to whinge and cry about

    I cant wait to get a Tattoo I have to wait 2 years as I’m only 16. Are you going to Judge me ? I’m getting it for my deceased brother . . . there’s meaning to tattoos. get over it.

    Jessie on 09 Mar 2011 at 3:24 am
  33. As a disabled person, seeing a disabled parking badge used in this way doesn’t offend me in any way as if you cant laugh at yourself every now and then, you need to seriously lighten up! As for the tattoos…you have got to laugh at those as well as they are truly tragic. I think the dumb ass freaks deserved what they got for not doing their homework first and spell checking what was going to adorn their body for the rest of their lives! LMAO.

    Jaques Le Blu on 04 Apr 2011 at 10:09 am
  34. (Generic argument, insult and spelling mistake, erm.. bunsen borner.)

    David on 09 Jun 2011 at 2:03 pm
  35. Tattoo’s have been strictly the preserve of sailors and retards since time in memorium…..

    brass boy on 23 Aug 2011 at 10:16 am
  36. Ha, saying retard? Its no big deal, its just a word that everyone uses in a different way. Besides that, retard is what some people are, thats what the word describes. I don’t see people freak out and say, “WHAT THE ****!? DID HE JUST CALL THAT PERSON MENTALLY CHALLENGED!?” It means the same thing, it just depends on your maturity of whether or not you can handle the truth of the definition of a word.

    Puxnbux on 26 Oct 2011 at 2:31 pm
  37. HAHAHAHAHAA stupid!

    bob on 08 Mar 2012 at 1:30 pm
  38. Just came across this screen.
    It has lots of misspellings that one finds in most informal writing, but may I please point out, to brass boy (23 Aug 2011):
    1) You almost never need an apostrophe to make ANYTHING plural. The correct spelling of the word the way you’ve used is is: tattoos .
    2) And the expression is: time immemorial . “In memoriam” (please note the correct spelling) and “immemorial” mean two different things. Look them up, please.

    Martha on 26 Apr 2012 at 3:11 pm
  39. lol, im bored sat in work looking for some dodgy tattoo’s! -found them. Decided to read ALL the posts from you nutters, and thankyou all for now I only have 15 minutes of this **** hole remaining 😀
    This thread has been going for a while, wonder if it will ever stop…..
    By the way tattoo’s mean a lot to people, mine do-don’t Hate!
    And if you don’t like spelling mistakes, grammar etc..don’t F***king carry on reading them ? Seriously!!

    Leanne Baker UK on 19 Jul 2012 at 8:47 am
  40. PS – time isn’t in my zone, time here in UK is 15:48 🙂 If aqnybody gives a sh*t 😛 PEACE OUT xx

    Leanne Baker UK on 19 Jul 2012 at 8:48 am
  41. It is always Retard Zone time. Maybe that’s the next story!

    Michael on 23 Jul 2012 at 12:25 pm

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