10 biggest tattoo mistakes
Tattoos are like people, there are countless different types and some of them are so annoying you wish you could just burn them off the face of the planet. At RetardZone our researchers came up with the ten most annoying categories of tattoos using Google and countless hours they should have been working during…
| The Paragraph | ||
| The paragraph also known as tattoo verbal diarrhea is for people who can’t get to a point. If crazy rambling women who won’t shut up about their feelings and how they don’t like you sticking things in unusual places this is what they’d look like.
Retard Factor: |
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| Fake Tribal Membership | ||
| Sadly just because you copy a piece of tribal artwork without the obligatory painful initiation and or being related to someone in the tribe doesn’t actually make you a tribal member. Although many colleges will accept your new minority status without asking for paperwork because that would be racist.
Retard Factor: |
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| The Inmate | ||
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If you want to look like someone who either spent a long time in jail or should have this is the look for you. It’s not fair, but most juries will convict you simply because they are scared you might kill them in their sleep if they let you off. Retard Factor: |
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| Illegal Use of a Body Part | ||
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When bad taste meets unusual shapes on your body this look is for you. You can make your wholes and crevices into giant 3D practical jokes on your body. Retard Factor: |
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| The Frightener | ||
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The frightener is for someone who wants to scare small children and never wants to make it past a first job interview. If you want halloween to last every day of the year in possibly carcinogenic permanent ink this is the look for you. Retard Factor:
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| Spelling Victim | ||
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Surprisingly, most spelling bee champions and English majors in college shy away from careers as tattoo artists. Some tips to avoid this permanent spelling mistake:
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| Drawn with a Crayon | ||
| If crayons could permanently scar your body this is what it would look like. Colors that look like an ugly block of mexican houses and artwork that belongs in a coloring book are the two ingredients needed to make this look.
Retard Factor: |
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| The Billboard | ||
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The billboard is like the fence in downtown with hundreds of posters on it. If you want your body to look like an old lady’s eclectic novelty crap collection this is the look for you. Rather than getting one nice one get lots of bad cheap ones and try to overcompensate for quality with quantity. Retard Factor: |
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| Sideshow Freak | ||
| This is a category of tattoos who says they don’t care what the world thinks but still wants all of them to stare at them and draw attention to themselves. If you never plan on having a real job or normal friends this is the look for you.
Retard Factor: |
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| Unintentionally Terrifying Portrait | ||
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People is one one of the hardest things to draw, and the free market isn’t enough to stop everyone who sucks from attempting portrait tattoos. Lawsuits and federally licensed drawing tests could help thin the untalented herd. |
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Before you run out and get a tattoo you should consider the consequences and avoid any of these stupid ideas. Most of all go to a decent place that doesn’t accept coupons from TGI Fridays or let your friends try out any homemade tattoo machines unless they have tried it out on themselves or at least three other people first.
19 Responses to “10 biggest tattoo mistakes”
- GNO = Guy?s Night Out
- Celebrity chef attacked by ham
- Smokers give themselves a headache too
- South Africa to go back to pigeon for data transfer
- New definition for drunken master
- Trick or treat using jellyfish
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Carbon neutral pledge:
I’m going to get a tattoo… I was thinking of a short bus.
**** you losers tattoos are expressing yourself through art there beautiful your just a bunch of ****s with no sense beauty and you should kill yourselfs
John, I bet you’re unemployable.
i got a tatto on the side of my legs of a squirl it keeps try to get my nuts
Hello John Jackup, meet my friends Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling. Why don’t you all make nice.
Tyson is a twat head.
Anyone with a tattoo is either a masochis, a moron, or both. They all look like a muddy mess after a couple of years. What they really show is that no one ever lost money underestimating the taste or intelligence of the general public.
OK it is MASOCHIST, damn spell checker is not dependable.
There are so many spelling mistakes in this article, I can’t believe the author had the balls to post it!
“People are” not “people is” if you are going to make an article making fun of people then don’t make mistakes like that.
Good lord man! The tattoos are stupid and some are offensive, but nothing is as offensive as your use of a handicapped parking placard and the word “retard”. Not even close to funny…
The placard is actually taken from a very good likeness to the one that adorns the rear-view mirror of my car. Though nobody would ever given me a number on it that gave me a chance to believe I was competing in anything like the lucky tattoo people above.
Long live the retarded (and by retarded, I mean ME!).
You forgot my favorite one. The incorrectly or poorly drawn Oriental characters.
I had a tattoo on my inner thigh of a little mouse. A couple days after I got it, it disappeared! I think my pussy ate it!
doesn’t ANYONE use the built-in spell checker? God u suck!
Sue, I think that you should re-post the warning sign on your knee letting others know of the potential danger within.
Just because you don’t mind calling yourself retarded, that doesn’t mean you have the right to do so in a way that will hurt other people. And just because you hate tattoos, that doesn’t give you the right to say that everybody who has them is an idiot.
Handicapped sticker for “retard” level? You sir, are a waste of oxygen.
Wow, look at all the sensitive suzys coming out for the retards.
Cry some more, the retards will come give you a hug.