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Why Star Trek would lose in Star Wars vs Star Trek fight

Star Trek vs Star WarsSure the economy is about to go into depression, the planet might probably be dying and wars are ravaging the world we live in, but is that really what we should be focusing on? With Superman still having a huge advantage over Batman despite going metro in the last movie, one question still needs answering. Who would win in a fight Star Wars or Star Trek?

Bigger Guns
Size does matter and Star Trek guns are better suited for remote controls and women’s purses than gun fights. The Star Wars universe has bigger guns and more of them.

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Lucas is Nuts
George Lucas is a recluse who makes things up as he goes along and Disney’s Pinocchio seemed more scientifically credible than any of the latest Star Wars films. You can’t beat a make believe contest with a crazy person who will go full retard on you.

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2
Star Trek Has No Fighter Aircraft

Modern warfare is based on air superiority and the Star Trek inventory simply doesn’t have any fighter aircraft. The Star Trek universe would be like the Iraqi military afraid to leave their bunkers without any fighters.

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3
Magical ‘The Force’ Powers

As teenagers learn in every Friday the 13rh movie you can’t beat what you can’t kill. With ‘The Force’ going for them even if you kill them they will be more powerful than you can ever imagine. The force surrounds us and combines us as well as lets you bounce lasers beams off your hands, and choke people to death using only your mind.

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More Merchandising
Face it we live in a capitalist society where winners take all. Star Trek has some junk you can buy but Star Wars has Disney crap, rides and billions in merchandising. Star Trek can’t even keep one lousy experience open in Vegas.

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5
Even Teddy Bears Armed

The Star Wars universe is more dangerous even if it is far less believable. The Tribbles just can’t compete with armed Ewoks. In Star Wars even the teddy bears are armed and blow crap up.

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Lightsabers
Lightsabers are the weapon of choice for nerds around the universe. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age and make cool swooshing noises. Besides the glowing things can deflect lasers so they are rubber and you are glue.

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Faster Ships & Bigger Explosions

Ships can travel from one end of the universe to another in minutes during a Star Wars film. The same trip took the crew of the Star Trek Voyager 172 episodes. A scientific speed comparison shows the Enterprise-D with a max speed of about 2000c (at warp 9.6) where even smaller Star Wars ships can manage 10 million to 100 million times c. Speed kills and once they get there nothing in Star Trek has the firepower (20 billion trillion megatons) or the cool name of the Death Star.

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Better Catchphrases
Live long and prosper, beam me up and "damnit Jim I’m a doctor" are all good catchphrases but weak when compared to Star Wars. What’s worse is the show claimed to be on a five year mission and then got cancelled after only three seasons. Lucas countered with “May the Force be with you” and A Long Time ago in a galaxy far, far way.

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Trekkies Nerdier Than Star Wars Fans

Star Trek fans are so nerdy their own actors make fun of them. As a group they are smaller in number and would lose in any regulated fighting style to Star Wars fans even without their homemade weapons.

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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Retarded, Technerd

 

7 Responses to “Why Star Trek would lose in Star Wars vs Star Trek fight”

  1. You are so right! And funny too, excellent article. (Okay, so I love a lot about Star Trek too, but you can’t argue with the Force and Lightsabers)

    Andrew Hill on 27 Aug 2009 at 2:27 pm
  2. Yeah, who could argue…you are the ****ing MAN Jerome!

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    Shawn on 19 Feb 2010 at 9:46 pm
  3. I love how cuss words are ****ing **** **** ****ed out on this site! That is so awesome that you like to censor! I mean when someone does things that are offensive it should totally be censored, yeah!

    Shawn on 19 Feb 2010 at 9:54 pm
  4. One last reason Star Wars can kick Star Trek’s ass. Nobody will want to see Star Trek because it is gay. The more Star Wars fans, the more powerful it will get (Because since Star Trek has 0 fans and Star Wars Fans has over 1,000,000 fans, the fans will make their own army to kick Star Trek’s ass).

    Janitor Poopatine on 28 Feb 2010 at 4:33 pm
  5. Janitor Poopatine you are pile of banther poo.

    I am not gay and I am a Trekkie, and we we have the omega device to shuv up your imperial ass. Its made out of leggo though.

    Live long wanker and prosper.

    Captain Dave uk

    Dave uk on 23 Mar 2010 at 12:52 pm
  6. The Borg would adapt to all of star wars weapons and the force so star trek would win

    Person on 30 Jul 2011 at 5:13 pm
  7. Have you even seen STAR TREK becouse it would win. All they have to use is Gennises and wipe out the whole planet in 2 secends and if was hand to hand all star trek would have to do is shoot them until star wars gets tired and then shoot them.

    Eli on 28 Nov 2011 at 2:00 am
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