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Which cartoon characters are gay?

Gay Cartoon Characters Which cartoon characters are the most likely to be closeted homosexuals? Lets out the ten most likely gays using our own cartoon gaydar with a plus or minus 30% gay accuracy rating.

Waylon Smithers

Waylon Smithers whose closeted sexual orientation has been characterized by the writers of the show as "Burns-sexual" which is where men are apparently attracted to men of nursing home age.

TV Show: The Simpsons


Stewie Griffin

Stewie Griffith has all of the classic signs or symptoms of being gay except he really doesn’t like his mother. Stewie is breaking ground as the first gay infant on television.

TV Show:
The Family Guy

Tinky-Winky Teletubby

Tinky Winky who has a triangle on his head, acts effeminately and carries a purse has been accused of trying to turn children gay by the far right for nearly a decade.

TV Show:
The Teletubbies

Sebastian the Crab

Horatio Thelonious Ignacious Crustaceous Sebastian may not have come out of his shell yet but he’s definitely stuffing boy crabs.

TV Show:
The Little Mermaid

Spongebob Squarepants

Spongebob is a soft asexual, anti-masculine figure who lives in a pineapple in an undersea locale called Bikini Bottom. His best friends are an ebullient pink starfish named Patrick. and a Squid who enjoys bubble baths and classical music and talks like Paul Lynde. SpongeBob and Patrick are occasionally seen holding hands. As an article on the Gay Financial Network’s website puts it, ”You do the math, folks.”

TV Show:
Spongebob Squarepants

Hefty, Handy, Clumsy, Brainy & Vanity Smurf

Hefty, Handy and Vanity are gay archetypes. Vanity is the kind of gay archetype commonly presented by the straight entertainment industry, while Hefty and Handy are gay archetypes in the same vein as the Village People, with their extremely iconic masculinity, exaggerated to the point of camp. Meanwhile, I believe Clumsy and Brainy represent an stereotypical gay couple. Besides 100 males with only one woman would have to go gay unless the woman was Madonna.

TV Show:
The Smurfs

Timon & Pumbaa

Timon & Pumbaa are always on the lookout for a good worm to stick in their mouths. Not just Disney’s first gay couple they were also the first gay couple to adopt and raise Simba the Lion King.

TV Show:
The Lion King

Peppermint Patty

Peppermint Patty had a deep, gravelly voice. Wears pants, not dresses like the other Peanuts gals. Plays a mean game of football, and even picked on boys. She always hung out with that androgynous Marcie who calls her "sir" and she always wears comfortable shoes.

TV Show:
Charlie Brown

Bert & Ernie
Bert & Ernie two single men who live together, take baths together and sleep in the same bed have to be gay.

TV Show:
Sesame Street
Velma Dinkley

Velma Dinkley always tries to cuddle up next to Daphne in the Mystery Machine. She sported a butch Pete Rose haircut. Has broad shoulders and wears thick turtleneck-sweaters and knee socks. Never once shagged Shaggy.

TV Show:
Scooby Doo


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Posted By: Jerome Aronson

News Category: Entertainment, Retarded


23 Responses to “Which cartoon characters are gay?”

  1. Speaking of retard zone. If you are going to make fun of a cartoon character get the name right! It’s Stewie Griffin, not Griffith.

    derrrrrrrrrrr on 01 Jun 2009 at 9:19 pm
  2. Actually if you want to be totally accurate in episode 13 of season 11 (not yet aired) he does get married (in a gay non religious ceremony) to Archie Griffin and changes his name to Griffin.

    Jerome on 02 Jun 2009 at 1:16 pm
  3. Snagglepus is definitely takes it in the backside.

    Lindsey on 06 Jun 2009 at 12:00 am
  4. handy smurf is not gay he falls in love with a mermaid and clumsy has a crush on a pixie

    Angie on 13 Sep 2009 at 12:17 pm
  5. Casper the Friendly Ghost seemed a little on the gay side.

    Doug on 18 Dec 2009 at 11:53 pm
  6. Childhood memories…

    visualexams on 25 Jan 2010 at 2:36 am
  7. Yeah, gay ass bitches! If I was a cartoon I would rape smurfet, for shures.

    Shawn on 19 Feb 2010 at 9:24 pm
  8. well shera was a lesbo and all her gay friends a mermaid, girls who had wings, and stuff and the only duded wore a heart on his chest and his best friend was a talking owl and scorpia was butch and catra was too anf imp anmd lookee were gay the majority of those characters were voiced by erica scheimer who was a lesbian herself.

    crazychris on 04 Mar 2010 at 2:12 pm
  9. TRANSFORMERS, ROBOTS IN DISGUISE..OR IS IT TRANSSEXUALS, HOMO’S IN DISGUISE, Those Teletubbys are hermaphrodites, I know, they got my ass in a dream. They were all wearing black PVC and had whips. You see, there is subliminal suggestions in the show. Scooby Doo is great, we all want to bang thelma. Actually Scoobys quite sexy too. Dave From Derby

    dave on 15 Mar 2010 at 12:13 pm
  10. I am ****ing sick of everything in this world and vacantly silly comments from idiots who only have one brain cell between them.

    When is superman coming to save us and Aliens landing and free electricity from cold fusion reactors or BLACK MATTER REACTORS. !!! BOLLOCKS..

    None Terrestrial Intelligence life forms are living around my ass hole.

    ****ing cartoons have made us unstable.

    Dave from Derby on 18 Mar 2010 at 4:11 pm
  11. What about Fanboy and Chum Chum and Chowder?

    John on 02 Sep 2010 at 7:41 am
  12. […] http://retardzone.com/2009/05/28/which-cartoon-characters-are-gay/ […]

    Gejai animacijoje on 19 Nov 2010 at 4:21 am

    OLIVERTUS on 22 Apr 2011 at 2:55 pm
  14. When I was a kid back then, I considered both Snoopy and Woody the first gayest animal duo in animated history, Wrong people think no, Snoopy wasn’t gay with Woodstock they say Snoopy is straight. Right people do find Snoopy gay with Woodstock because they both love each other that’s the secret key of success that led a great influence to other gay animal duos like Timon and Pumbaa or others that would’ve follow, any questions?

    Dog on 16 Aug 2011 at 6:07 am
  15. What about HIM from PowerPull Girls

    Jennifer on 27 Aug 2011 at 8:30 pm
  16. I always thought Tails, Gromit, Bart Simpson, Ash’s Pikachu, Silver The Hedgehog, Stitch, White Bomber, Yugi Moto and Riddle School’s Phil were gay.

    Tails – Duh! It’s so obvious that he’s more in love with Sonic then Amy and Sally put together. If he isn’t then surely he’s been raped
    Gromit – He does so many womanly things he has to be
    Ash’s Pikachu – He is way too clingy to Ash
    Silver – No one who acts, sounds and looks like him can go around saying thier straight
    Stitch – First of all, he copy’s Lilo so often people think he’s a girl and secondly, he can turn into a ball so he probably sucks his d***
    White Bomber – Have you seen what he wears? It’s like somekind of fetish
    Yugi – No straight person walks around in tight leather clothes
    Phil – He just seems like your everyday, school gay

    Chloe Turner on 12 Oct 2011 at 2:51 pm
  17. Prince Adam from Eternia was probably the gayest cartoon character stereotype: He wore a pink shirt, talked like a pansy, was musclebound and totally ignored the big-boobed women who surrounded him!

    Turbodave on 06 Nov 2011 at 10:15 am
  18. The reason I think we should get to trick is the dumb beagle Snoopy my dad created by having him as a date between Snoopy and the Red Baron for dinner so as long as they can kiss and have sex as make up for the both of them to love each other one way or another after all, sounds like a funny idea it would’ve make a good story finale and not a bad story finale!

    Craig Schulz on 17 Dec 2011 at 12:32 pm

    Hayleee on 25 Feb 2012 at 12:26 am
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