Which cartoon characters are gay?
Which cartoon characters are the most likely to be closeted homosexuals? Lets out the ten most likely gays using our own cartoon gaydar with a plus or minus 30% gay accuracy rating.
| Waylon Smithers | ||
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Waylon Smithers whose closeted sexual orientation has been characterized by the writers of the show as "Burns-sexual" which is where men are apparently attracted to men of nursing home age. TV Show: The Simpsons |
1 | |
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| Stewie Griffin | ||
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Stewie Griffith has all of the classic signs or symptoms of being gay except he really doesn’t like his mother. Stewie is breaking ground as the first gay infant on television. |
2 | |
| Tinky-Winky Teletubby | ||
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Tinky Winky who has a triangle on his head, acts effeminately and carries a purse has been accused of trying to turn children gay by the far right for nearly a decade. |
3 | |
| Sebastian the Crab | ||
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Horatio Thelonious Ignacious Crustaceous Sebastian may not have come out of his shell yet but he’s definitely stuffing boy crabs. |
4 | |
| Spongebob Squarepants | ||
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Spongebob is a soft asexual, anti-masculine figure who lives in a pineapple in an undersea locale called Bikini Bottom. His best friends are an ebullient pink starfish named Patrick. and a Squid who enjoys bubble baths and classical music and talks like Paul Lynde. SpongeBob and Patrick are occasionally seen holding hands. As an article on the Gay Financial Network’s website puts it, ”You do the math, folks.” |
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| Hefty, Handy, Clumsy, Brainy & Vanity Smurf | ||
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Hefty, Handy and Vanity are gay archetypes. Vanity is the kind of gay archetype commonly presented by the straight entertainment industry, while Hefty and Handy are gay archetypes in the same vein as the Village People, with their extremely iconic masculinity, exaggerated to the point of camp. Meanwhile, I believe Clumsy and Brainy represent an stereotypical gay couple. Besides 100 males with only one woman would have to go gay unless the woman was Madonna. |
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| Timon & Pumbaa | ||
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Timon & Pumbaa are always on the lookout for a good worm to stick in their mouths. Not just Disney’s first gay couple they were also the first gay couple to adopt and raise Simba the Lion King. |
7 | |
| Peppermint Patty | ||
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Peppermint Patty had a deep, gravelly voice. Wears pants, not dresses like the other Peanuts gals. Plays a mean game of football, and even picked on boys. She always hung out with that androgynous Marcie who calls her "sir" and she always wears comfortable shoes. |
8 | |
| Bert & Ernie | ||
| Bert & Ernie two single men who live together, take baths together and sleep in the same bed have to be gay. TV Show: Sesame Street  |
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| Velma Dinkley | ||
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Velma Dinkley always tries to cuddle up next to Daphne in the Mystery Machine. She sported a butch Pete Rose haircut. Has broad shoulders and wears thick turtleneck-sweaters and knee socks. Never once shagged Shaggy.
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6 Responses to “Which cartoon characters are gay?”
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Carbon neutral pledge:
Speaking of retard zone. If you are going to make fun of a cartoon character get the name right! It’s Stewie Griffin, not Griffith.
Actually if you want to be totally accurate in episode 13 of season 11 (not yet aired) he does get married (in a gay non religious ceremony) to Archie Griffin and changes his name to Griffin.
Snagglepus is definitely takes it in the backside.
handy smurf is not gay he falls in love with a mermaid and clumsy has a crush on a pixie
Casper the Friendly Ghost seemed a little on the gay side.
Childhood memories…