Adopt a pet and satisfy an appetite

I don’t much like spam. I know, you all would agree with me and say that you get a lot of spam and don’t like it either. The difference is that one of my menial jobs is to go through pre-classified spam for executives of the company I work at and verify that the emails marked as spam are really spam. So what would you do if you just kept reading through spam? Have a little fun with it.. me too.
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Beverly Hills 90210 where are they now

It occurred to me that while there have been some posts recently of some Beverly Hills 90210 graduates over at Retard Media, there must be a decent post about the Beverly Hills 90210, Where Are They Now sort of post or story. Sadly I didn’t see something worthy of just copying, so instead Retard Zone decided to make our own. Read More »

Aqua Dots thinning the herd

Once upon a time there was a teenager who had outgrown all toys and thought things purchased in the children’s department or toy stores was beneath them. Then came China with their wonderful manufacturing techniques, low wages, oppressive government, ill-will towards the United States, and patent disregard for workplace safety and environmental policies that would make Dick Chaney feel squeamish.. This is where the story begins but definitely not where it will end. Read More »

Email yourself later

Someone who wishes to remain anonymous (Robert Stevens from San Antonio, TX) told me about a site which would allow me to email myself, in the future. When in the future you ask? Well according to the online web form, I can email myself on any date from January 1, 2007 through December 31, 2037. Of course there are some problems with this idea.
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UK Microsoft Jackpot Lottery winner

I’m going to retire. I never thought this day would come, but I won a lottery! I know that soon all of my family and friends and friends of friends will start talking to me again and acknowledge that I’m alive (I miss you mommy!) because of my new found wealth. Though I haven’t found out how to collect yet. Read More »

Don’t squeeze my Charmin

FOND DU LAC, Wisconsin — It’s possible that the world’s largest toilet paper prank is in the making, and though we few and proud at Retard Zone are known for pranks, this isn’t our doing.

Fond du Lac County Executive Allen Buechel said someone has been repeatedly stealing toilet paper from the men’s public bathrooms at the Fond du Lac City County Government Center since June. Unfortunately it appears that the Fond du Lac City police department aren’t as smart as the thief. Read More »

MySpace spam

It’s a well known fact that if it weren’t for spam, half of the work day would be available for things like goofing around at work, millions of people would go home to only see empty personal email inboxes, the Internet would run quicker and people would get bored sooner.  Here’s another spam depository, I call it MySpace. Read More »

John Chow advocates killing endangered species

In what must be one of the oddest advertisements I’ve seen in my 5 hours total time of being on a computer, there is an ad for John Chow’s website where he’s holding a knife to a panda’s throat in a threatening manner.  I’m not sure if this is something that Canadian’s are aggreable to, but in the United States of America, the greatest country on Earth, this is not acceptable. Read More »

Thousands rally to support students indicted for attempted murder

In what should have been a non-issue, thousands of blacks protesters gathered in Jena, Louisiana on Thursday to show support for the “Jena 6″, six black teens charged in the beating of a white classmate. Thursday was the day Mychal Bell expected to find out his punishment for his alleged role in the beating. “This is a march for justice. This is not a march against whites or against Jena,” said the Rev. Al Sharpton, a loud and annoying black, anti civil rights activist and one of the protest organizers. Read More »

Maryland hates happy people

Maryland’s highest court ruled on Tuesday that they are all a bunch of homophobic retards.  In a decision from the state’s appeals court, the 4-3 ruling by closet gays decided that marriage should only be between a man and a woman.  According to a source close to the 4 who voted to keep same-sex marriage illegal in the state, whatever is kept in the closet it out of public view. Read More »