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About: SoCalZoner

Full Name SoCal Zoner
Website http://retardzone.com/

Posts by SoCalZoner:

If you can’t stop smile as you go under

Nice parking squirrelSometimes people who drive horribly encourage road rage.  Road rage is like roid rage, only without the steroids or homeruns or dead family members (we’ll miss you Benoit).  Though I’m not usually the kind to have road rage, I am not immune to it or it’s effects.  Now though, I have parking lot rage. Read More »

World’s slowest new car not that smart

World's slower new car not that smartI have owned a fair share of cars (so far) in my lifetime, including a few Chevy Camaros, Lincoln Towncar & Continental, Dodge Magnum, and more.  Since I have liked every car that I have owned, including the one that caught fire, I’m too smart to ever be caught driving a Smart. Read More »

Paper Is The Newest Fashion

Paper Is The Newest FashionHaving seen fashion from all over the world, it has never occurred to me that paper would be so popular.  You can write on it, make it fly, use it for origami, and now wear it on your face.  Is this an Asian thing?  What’s with Asians? Read More »

Birthrate Declining Everywhere But Where I Look

Birthrate Declining Everywhere But Where I LookThe lowest birth rate in years, decades and whatever else.  I’m not sure where the numbers were gathered from but I can tell you that when I’m driving through Los Angeles, I question if every-other Mexican isn’t pregnant.  Seems that either the Mexicans are getting fat or pregnant, except of course the bangers shooting each other. Read More »


HummertardedThank Fred for Hummers.  I mean, without Hummers I know a lot of wives that wouldn’t have nice jewelry, “working girls” that would have to become waitresses, waitresses that would lose tips, Champagne rooms that would become sparkling cider rooms, and your mom would have to get a real job.  Let’s not even talk about your sister’s business. Read More »

Post Car Crash Syndrome

Post Car Crash SyndromeNothing touches Post Tramatic Stress Syndrome (PTSS) except for PMS, and now in close third is PCCS.  PCCS effects everyone that has gotten in a car crash and left evidence… that’s when I arrive with my sometimes matching socks and neon colored helmet. Read More »

Car Turnover

Car TurnoverOops.  That’s got to be the thought when someone flips their car over, especially when it occurs to them through careful questioning by authorities that it was just an accident. Read More »

Nice Car Crash

Nice Car CrashNothing proves that you are retarded more than not being able to drive a car.  Even if someone else hits you, you are still retarded.  If Jesus bombs your car, you are still retarded because as explained earlier (WWJB and WWJB).

Read More »

Honor Student Dog

Honor StudentMaybe it’s just me.  Maybe it’s just the retard with this sticker.  I can understand when people are bothered or annoyed by the “My Child Is An Honor Student” stickers.  In my day honor roll wasn’t given out just because you spell your name correctly (though I got close to spelling it right so many times. Read More »

SUV vs Compact

SUV vs CompactDo you like a nice traffic causing car crashes as much as I do?  If you don’t, stay the hell off the following freeways: 101, 405, 5, 91, 1, 133, 26, 23, 118, 134 … oh hell, just move to someplace that only has farm equipment. Read More »

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