Parking lot rage, like road rage, occurs because someone does something with their vehicle that illicits a negative emotion.  You have definitely come in contact with some vehicle that causes parking lot rage.  How about the old woman that parks so bleading-close to the white boundary line that you know she door dinged your car when she opened her door to get out?  The guy with a Mercedes that parks in two spots, near the front of the store, trying not to get a door ding?  Someone that parks so crooked you could swear they were cockeyed?

While shopping for shoes at Payless (ya, I’m broke and buy cheap stuff) for a replacement of the laces for my duck taped Reeboks (thank the homeless for giving me shoes) I got to experience a parking lot rage that shouldn’t have actually bothered me since my bicycle with training wheels wasn’t affected.

Welcome to Retard Zone you squirrel.

I guess parking in four spots is pretty retarded.

Why not just run over the tree while you are at it?

Nice aligning the truck in the spot, couldn’t get closer to the line without going over?

I’m guessing that God wanted you to park like crap.  Nice license plate frame though.

You do have a big truck.. I’m wondering if you could see over the steering wheel to see the road.

Well that was close to sticking in your own spot.  When I say close, I mean you suck.

Nice view from the front.  Oh wait, that’s not part of the parking lot your tire is on…

that’s one of God’s plants that you have decided to destroy.  Heathen.

While driving home one day I saw a small car.  I mean small.  I thought that I was in Europe or maybe a couple Mini Coopers got together and had a retarded midget child.  Having my camera with me and not caring about traffic around me (it’s Southern California, nobody drives safely anyway) the paparazzi in my came out. 

The Smart has been in the news for a while, though not headline news, there are several articles about it and it has been written about in several car magazines.  Well I’m here to tell you that after reading about this car, I’m less than impressed and pretty sure that the only purpose of this car is to decrease the human population or just for the entertainment of others to look upon.

Some of the more interesting facts about this “Smart” car, the ForTwo are:

• only 8.8 feet long makes this car shorter than a Mini Cooper by almost 2 feet
• 5.1 feet tall means that even a short woman can still reach the top to wash the car
• 5.1 feet wide means the car looks like a rectangle
• 0-60 MPH in 15.5 seconds would make you feel like the guy using the walker in Office Space movie intro is kicking your butt
• with a top speed of 90 MPH, it goes fast, but I think that speed is only when being towed

I’m not sure what I would expect from a previous manufacturer of watches, Swatch.  Honestly, the car could probably fit on someone’s wrist.  I’m just seeing some Jetson’s cartoon action happening where George pushes a button and the Smart TwoFor bounces from his wrist and starts unfolding.

There are more pictures of this car over at RetardMedia.

Actually, I don’t think that anyone is as smart as the Chinese/Japanese overall (well, except for Jews).  It would take someone as witty as the Chinese to wear paper on their face. 

This woman was driving her Lexus down the freeway, if you see her please wave and tell her that I appreciate her fashion sense.

So as I read an article which probably should be showing me that birth control is on the rise and that American’s are being more responsible, but what I see is that all the illegals aren’t letting everyone else in on the fact that they are making babies from age 8-death.

I don’t mean to be rude about this, but I’m really just telling it like it is.  Anyone else driving around California?  If you are, you can agree that without a couple million cars/people, nobody would be missing anything in a bad way.  Anyway, there’s a real story to all this and of course I’ll stop talking my mind and let you read the blah-blah.

Link : http://www.alternet.org/sex/54534/

But this isn’t about that kind of Hummer, it’s about the retard-nation that drives Hummers to and from work, when they work in neighborhoods without dirt roads or obstacle courses.  Those nansy-pansy people that drive their H2 from their covered garage to work and back home, sometimes stopping at the grocery store for some Charmin.  What is the purpose?

If you want to show off that you have a lot of money, wear a Rolex or throw wads of cash at strippers.  Don’t drive your immaculately clean and dusted H2 in my neighborhood.  And don’t place 26″ wheels on it, you look like a Dumas.

26″ wheels.. right, that’s necesssary in suburbia:

I really like taking pictures of car crashes but when I’m not able to see the crash, getting after-shots is most definitely enjoyable.  Enjoy these of a car that apparently stopped sooner than the car following did.

If you like seeing these pictures, leave a comment so I know that I should follow the ambulances to the accident sites and keep taking pictures.

So what would you do when you flip your Jeep over and are speaking with the police and fire departments?  I’m not sure what to say except “Occifer, I swear I wasn’t drinking when the car was flipped over by the pink elephant”.

Ya, there’s way too much traffic for nothing to be happening up ahead.

Looks like a bad place to park.. also not really convenient for exiting the vehicle.

I wonder if you get a ticket for unsafe driving.. that’s what I would be thinking.

So my congradulations to this award winning Honda driver.  Nice crash.. retard.

Looks like a battle of imports, and with imports everyone loses.

I guess when one import takes out another and itself, everyone wins (go America!).

Gotta love a nice car crash… I know I do.

Fortunately nobody was hurt.. unfortunately both drivers will soon be on the road again.

When I saw this sticker I figured that the woman in this Toyota 4Runner (license plate 4HAJ646)  is unable to conceive or too stupid to conceive or just can’t find any guy with a hanglow willing to touch her.    So she has a dog and uses peanut butter.

Then I got to thinking that her dog is as smart as any kid, since kids aren’t as trainable with peanut butter and won’t lick without more motivation.  Hence this woman (or shebeast) needs the affection of her pet and is jealous of those that can have kids (or don’t frighten them away with their looks).

During the afternoon drive, getting lost while trying to find Costco, I got stuck on the 405 South due to some really inconsiderate driver that didn’t like her car.  I know why she crashed,  that she didn’t like her car, and that it was a female driver even though I didn’t see her.  I know all this because:
 1) Obviously there was some shoe sale she was racing to when she came up with plan 2, which was;
 2) She could crash the car so that her daddy would buy her a new one;
 3) Only a female would drive this poorly.

Below are some pictures that I took while practicing my rubber-necking skills.

This guy can’t believe the wreck, check him out.

Now you know what the guy was looking at.

The cop with the odd “tattoo” on his neck can’t believe it either.

The SUV is hardly damaged (I think that it popped a tire on the Sentra driver’s teeth).

Just amazing.. I should have gotten out of my car and taken pictures.

The headliner in the Sentra might be damaged…

Looks like the tires on the Sentra are still in good shape.  So are the tail lights.

Awesome how the car got deformed, view a higher res pic here.

The whole scene was interesting.. if you weren’t involved in the accident at least.

Fat guys, entering on the right.

The fat guys are sure slow.

Really, really slow.

Of course I chased the ambulance, I wanted to get a picture of the woman and maybe her new shoes.

Off to the hospital.. Hope her shoes didn’t get ruined.

The accident was so good I had to view it from the other side.

I think the SUV will be fine after replacing the front tire.

Nice necklace pal, it matches your shirt.

The windshield on the Sentra might need cleaning too.

Look at all those rubber neckers.. what a**holes, ”Why don’t you take a picture, it will last longer!”

This guy is just late to the party.  And I bet he wants a tattoo like the other cop.

All of these pictures are available in high-res, just leave a comment letting me know which ones.