Networks: CBS
Host: Jeff Probst
Age: 23 seasons and counting
Prize: $1,000,000
Challenge: Survive in a marooned-type island with strangers where food, water, fire, and shelter are not previously setup for contestants.
Winning: Avoid being expelled from the game.
Tricks: Lie. Lie. Lie. In the latest season the 2nd place challenger lost by one single vote, even though he admitted to consistent lying and going back on his word several times. In the end, the explanation was "it’s only a game."

Networks: CBS
Host: Phil Keoghan
Age: 19 seasons and counting
Prize: $1,000,000
Challenge: Race around to parts of the world while solving puzzles or figuring out games or deciphering clues.
Winning: Avoid being the last team to arrive on any of the legs of the race.
Tricks: Though there is less help in boldly lying to others, through deception and dishonesty some teams were with getting other teams disqualified.

Networks: CBS
Host: Julie Chen
Age: 13 seasons and counting
Prize: $500,000
Challenge: Avoid weekly eviction by playing a social game along with physical games to earn prizes or maintain safety.
Winning: Be the last house guest to get kicked out of the game and then a panel of evicted house guests will decide on first and second place prizes.
Tricks: Since the manipulation of people is all that is required to make it from one week until the next, simple lying and placating seems like the magic.

Networks: FOX
Host: Ryan Seacrest
Age: 10 seasons and counting
Prize: record deal with a major label, which may be for up to six albums
Challenge: Have America vote for you more than the other contestants.
Winning: Be the last musical choice to be removed from the competition via vote.
Tricks: It’s a popularity contest that looks to be slowly losing it’s popularity. Though with the occupation of a chair by Steven Tyler (woman abuser) there might be some hope left for Fox’s previously highest rated show. Make the audience not dislike you and you could win.

Networks: NBC
Host: Nick Cannon
Age: 6 seasons and counting
Prize: $1,000,000 (payable over 40 years)
Challenge: Be more talented than competitors while entertaining home audience.
Winning: Be the last talent competition to be removed from the show via lack-of-votes.
Tricks: It’s another contest with popularity, arrogance, and some entertainment thrown in also. Though it will take skills or talents to win, it doesn’t take much to compete (last year a guy jumped into shallow swimming pools held atop air-filled cushions used for stunt men to fall into off of buildings).

Waylon Smithers whose closeted sexual orientation has been characterized by the writers of the show as "Burns-sexual" which is where men are apparently attracted to men of nursing home age.

TV Show: The Simpsons

Stewie Griffith has all of the classic signs or symptoms of being gay except he really doesn’t like his mother. Stewie is breaking ground as the first gay infant on television.

TV Show: The Family Guy

Tinky Winky who has a triangle on his head, acts effeminately and carries a purse has been accused of trying to turn children gay by the far right for nearly a decade.

TV Show: The Teletubbies

Horatio Thelonious Ignacious Crustaceous Sebastian may not have come out of his shell yet but he’s definitely stuffing boy crabs.

TV Show: The Little Mermaid

Spongebob is a soft asexual, anti-masculine figure who lives in a pineapple in an undersea locale called Bikini Bottom. His best friends are an ebullient pink starfish named Patrick. and a Squid who enjoys bubble baths and classical music and talks like Paul Lynde. SpongeBob and Patrick are occasionally seen holding hands. As an article on the Gay Financial Network’s website puts it, ”You do the math, folks.”

TV Show: Spongebob Squarepants

Hefty, Handy and Vanity are gay archetypes. Vanity is the kind of gay archetype commonly presented by the straight entertainment industry, while Hefty and Handy are gay archetypes in the same vein as the Village People, with their extremely iconic masculinity, exaggerated to the point of camp. Meanwhile, I believe Clumsy and Brainy represent an stereotypical gay couple. Besides 100 males with only one woman would have to go gay unless the woman was Madonna.

TV Show: The Smurfs

Timon & Pumbaa are always on the lookout for a good worm to stick in their mouths. Not just Disney’s first gay couple they were also the first gay couple to adopt and raise Simba the Lion King.

TV Show: The Lion King

Peppermint Patty had a deep, gravelly voice. Wears pants, not dresses like the other Peanuts gals. Plays a mean game of football, and even picked on boys. She always hung out with that androgynous Marcie who calls her "sir" and she always wears comfortable shoes.

TV Show: Charlie Brown

Velma Dinkley always tries to cuddle up next to Daphne in the Mystery Machine. She sported a butch Pete Rose haircut. Has broad shoulders and wears thick turtleneck-sweaters and knee socks. Never once shagged Shaggy.

TV Show: Scooby Doo

Network: ABC

Synopsis:

Animated comedy where four small children solve some current events problem ripped stolen from the headlines.

Lineage:

Charlie Brown class from hell.

Network: Comedy Channel

Synopsis:

Send a team of investigators with cameras around the world looking for undiscovered monsters that don’t exist.


Lineage:

Weekly World News (that tabloid they used to have in check out isles that covered nonexistent monsters) in TV form

Network: Sci Fi Channel

Synopsis:

The original sarcastic cartoon where
dysfunctional family attempts normalhood with disastrous results.

Lineage:

Leave it to Beaver meets Married with Children.

Network: FOX

Synopsis:

Secret agent gets laid off and solves crimes while trying to find out who burned him.

Lineage:

Magnum PI meets the A-Team.

Network: USA

Network: USA

Synopsis:

Two best friends and roommates make a living as guinea pigs for "Testico," a drug and product testing facility.

Lineage:

Borat meets Jackass situational comedy.

Network: FX

Network: USA

Synopsis:

Sarcastic animated family comedy
parodying everything it can copy without getting sued.

Lineage:

Brady Bunch meets Dumb and Dumber.

Network: FOX

REAPER: Similar to Brimstone, only with slackers. Was a comedy where Sam whose soul was sold to the devil by his parents tracks down escaped souls for the devil.

MY NAME IS EARL: White trash goes around trying to undo all the bad things he did before getting hit by a car and learning about Karma while watching a TV talk show.

He’s under her umbrella and won’t give it back, without the magic umbrella which is the source of the singer’s otherwise untalented mega successful career.

It’s a little known fact that Chris’s mother is a Jamaican voodoo priestess and is controlling her mind in a desperate bid to avoid Federline-like separation.

The stereotype is true and Chris Brown is hung like a Shetland pony.

She is covering for a closely guarded secret that could bring down her career and she is afraid he will reveal: Rihanna and Chris are related. The two are apparently brotha and sista.

Rihanna has a brown beloved poodle hybrid, mixture of a Maltese and a Poodle that Brown has kidnapped and threatened to feed to a Korean family if she leaves him.

The very religious and slightly dim-witted Rihanna was convinced by Chris that the beating occurred only after he was possessed by an evil spirit that well known con-man and Ghost huckster John Edwards claimed to have exorcised.

Body Count:

Body Count:

50 year old Bernie Mac died August 9th, 2008 only to have co-star Isaac Hayes die one day later. It is rumored that Samuel L. Jackson locked himself in a hospital that night fearing celebrities die in threes. This pathetic comedy wasn’t released until two months the untimely deaths of it’s stars and made only $12 million dollars domestically.

Body Count:

Scriptwriter David Seltzer’s plane was struck by lightning.

Star Gregory Peck, in a separate incident, had his plane struck by lightning.

Richard Donner’s hotel was bombed by the Provisional IRA.

Gregory Peck canceled his reservation on a flight. The plane he had originally chartered crashed, killing all on board (a group of Japanese businessmen).

A warden at the safari park used in the "crazy baboon" scene was attacked and killed by a lion the day after the crew left.

Rottweilers hired for the film attacked their trainers.

On the first day of shooting, the principal members of the crew got in a head-on car crash.

The curse continues to this day where the remake may have doomed multiple careers.

Body Count:

• not including A plane full of Japanese businessmen the pilot and his family.

22-year-old Aaliyah hadn’t even finished filming before she died in a plane crash. The ‘Oracle’ Gloria Foster didn’t see her own death coming and it was rumored Brandon Lee had been cast to play Neo before his death. Perhaps the greatest curse fell upon the creators who haven’t made a decent film since.

Body Count:

The curse of Superman mainly strikes the actors cast as the good guys – play one of them, and there’s a good chance your career will stall or you’ll suffer serious misfortune. The most famous victims are George Reeves and Christopher Reeve. George played Superman in the 1950s. In 1959, eight days before he was due to be married, he was found dead from a gunshot wound, a mystery that provided the plot of last year’s Hollywoodland, starring Ben Affleck. Christopher was paralyzed after being thrown from his horse in 1995. In 2004, he died from heart failure.

Margot Kidder (Lois Lane) now suffers from bipolar disorder. Marlon Brando played Superman’s dad before a series of tragedies befell his personal life, involving the imprisonment and death of his son Christian. Richard Pryor (Superman III), was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. The careers of actors Kirk Allen and Dean Cain nose dived after playing the Man of Steel.

Body Count:

Body Count:

The Misfits would prove to be the last major film for it’s three stars Clark Gable, Marilyn Monroe and Montgomery Clift. This film had major locations throughout it’s production because of a heat wave in the Black Rock Desert. 59-year-old Clark Gable died of a hear attack 11 days after filming his own stunts in the heat. Monroe died of a drug overdose a year later and Clift died five years later.

Body Count:

Body Count:

Hollywood maverick turned crazy shut-in who saved his own urine in bottles made this box office disaster biopic of Genghis Khan. The recluse cast the caucasian cowboy actor John Wayne and things went bad from there. While filming a black panther tried to eat the female lead Susan Hayward.

In a disastrous location selection the film was made in Utah’s Snow Canyon which was chalk full of fallout from nearby nuclear bomb tests at Yucca Flats. Of the 220 crew members 91 developed cancer and 46 died including the film’s star John Wayne, director Dick Powell and Susan Hayward.
Photos from the movie exist of Wayne and other crew members holding Geiger counters that were off the charts

Body Count:

BODY COUNT: Happy Days, Married with Children, The Love Boat, and Dynasty.

Ted McGinley routinely sends her thank-you notes for removing the taint of "show killer" from his public profile. Paula Marshall isn’t offensive her acting style is just like oatmeal (a little bland and too boring.)

BODY COUNT: Cupid, Out of Practice, Snoops, Veronica Mars, Shark, Manchild, Out of Practice, Hidden Hills, Cursed, Sports Night, Wild Oats, Miss Match, Just Shoot Me, and Hidden Hills

Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s has the pouty facial expressions of a 13 year old girl and silky hair to match.

BODY COUNT: NYPD Blue, Raising the Bar, John from Cincinnati, Law Dogs, Commander in Chief, Hyperion Bay, and D.C.

BODY COUNT: Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, Buffalo Bill, The Guardian, Heartland, Courting Alex, and Recess

BODY COUNT: Conviction, Sex Love & Secrets, Veritas, Hawaii, Clueless, The Ex List, The Chronicle, and Fearless

Tim Conway’s toughest career break came when Obama was elected president. If McCain had one Tim could have masterfully played the fellow octogenarian president on Saturday Night Live. His grating acting ability is essentially limited to about a half dozen silly faces.

BODY COUNT: Coach, Married with Children, Newhart, Mad about You

BODY COUNT: Class of ’96, Sweet Justice, The Force, Murder One, EZ Streets, Philly, Falcone, The Beast, Boomtown, LAX, Windfall, and Lincoln Heights