All 'Entertainment'

Speed Racer movie looks craptastic

Speed RacerMovies being converted from cartoon to big screen films are pretty hit and miss. Speed Racer comes out May of 2008 but you can see the trailer here, and save ten bucks. I always liked speed racer and always call anyone hurrying by that name but based on what I see in the trailer I have serious reservations about seeing this one.
Continue Reading »

Retards race to make 100K in stock

retard stock raceTake two amateur stock investors, several days of not working to create a new site, ten thousand dollars and you have yourself the great retardtrader.com stock race. Michael and Lindsey are racing each other to each make one hundred thousand dollars and recording every step along the way.
Continue Reading »

Monster menagerie from The Mist

90210I thought one of the coolest trailers of the year was for the Stephen King movie ‘The Mist’ so I went to go see it with two of my best friends. I was unprepared for the menagerie of monsters that I was about to be confronted with. Most movies have just one monster, a shark, an alien with two sets of teeth or some wildly mutated animal - but not Mist. If you are even thinking about seeing this movie or have seen it and want to see the animal kingdom from the movie read more.
Continue Reading »

TV show 24 failed pilot from 1994

Failed 24 PilotFew in Hollywood know the TV show 24 was originally set for it’s debut in 1994 but without Kiefer Sutherland and cooler technology not available until years later the show never made it beyond a poorly done pilot. In a world with clunky cell phones, slow internet connections and pay phones the fast action was slowed to the point of near comedy. The next time you see Jack Bauer beating a confession out of a terrorist just take a minute to thank all the nerd toys that action get compressed into 24 hours. Continue Reading »

Achmed the Dead Terrorist

Dead TerroristA little humor here Jeff Dunham the comedian with a Achmed the dead terrorist skeleton dummy…
Continue Reading »

Metallica fan goes on shaving strike waiting for new album

Metallica Fan Shaving StrikeTake one Metallica fan and a band that spends more time worrying about people downloading their music than actually making it. The BEARDweekone has given up shaving until the band releases their next album. The new album is scheduled for release sometime around February of 2008, but should be available for illegal download a week or two before that.
Continue Reading »

Google hates veterans

Google hates American VeteransGoogle has celebrated more than 62 holidays that it considers to be more important than memorial day or veterans day in the United States. They have gone so far as to actually celebrate Australian Veterans day. Maybe it would be more correct to say that they just hate American veterans because they already recognize Australian Veterans. See how many holidays the hypocrites who fly their own 767 jet around and pretend to be pro-environment… Continue Reading »

Is Tom Cruise building a $10 million underground bunker?

Tom Cruise Super BunkerAccording to recent (albeit unsubstantiated) rumors reports Tom Cruise is building a multi million dollar bomb shelter underneath his Colorado home. It’s possible that the entertainment world mistook him wanting to avoid his recent string of movies bombing for wanting a bomb shelter. Apparently when Tom Cruise isn’t busy ultrasounding his pregnant near child bride (who probably calls him daddy) he’s busy planning to be the next messiah or something.
Continue Reading »

Man hooks up with wheelchair bound 75 yr old Elizabeth Taylor

She's a witchUnlike Anna Nicole Smith who was a stripper when she hooked up with billionaire J. Howard Marshall, this guy has cash of his own. African American businessman Jason Winters is by all accounts very wealthy. Why then would this non hideous rich guy go chasing down a wheelchair bound Elizabeth Taylor? Could it be the diamonds perfume she hawks is really just cover witchcraft?
Continue Reading »

Jesse Jackson says Barak Obama ‘acting like he’s white’

Barak not black enoughJesse Jackson recently criticized Barak Obama stating that he wasn’t black enough and “acting like he’s white”. I am worried that Barak being down so far in the polls might get desperate and overcompensate. Barak has always seemed like a decent enough family man and I don’t want to read about him being arrested trying to get his ’street cred.’
Continue Reading »

« Prev - Next »

Recycled PixelsCarbon neutral pledge:
This website uses 100% recycled pixels

A Retard Empire Production Retard Zone © 2008.   Help | Complain| Contact Us
All rights to offend children, adults, and animals are reserved.