Sure BINGO sounds innocent, but this invidious sport is taking a heavy toll on society and should be made illegal or heavily taxed like other forms of gambling. Sure it’s not as bad as toddler fighting but it’s only slightly more humane than organized goldfish fighting.
| Puts Gambling (and Devil) in Churches | ||
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Satan has worked his sinful evil into the hallowed grounds of churches with his dirty, dirty gambling through bingo. Upside: Fewer people are going to church every year so it’s becoming less of an issue. |
1 | |
| Takes Old People’s Medical Care Money | ||
| With healthcare costs soaring every dollar could be the difference between life and death with life saving medicine.
Upside: Old people are creating a huge burden on the system living longer and costing more money – so older retirees dying earlier only helps the economy. |
2 | |
| Gateway Drug to Hardcore Gambling | ||
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BINGO is a soft gateway drug but gets people pulling slot machines then losing their mortgage on lawnmower racing. Upside: Lottery tickets and other legal gambling help pay for our schools, at a rate of at least one ten thousandth of a penny per dollar. |
3 | |
| Marketed Towards Children | ||
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With a catchy theme song and simple rules the very game is marketed for children, or the nearly children mentally. Upside: It teaches kids to count to 64 or higher. |
4 | |
| Supports Child Molesters | ||
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BINGO games help support the largest organized ring of child molesters in the world. Upside: The churches do some good, and illegal aliens can only give so much. |
5 | |
| For Those Who Can’t Figure Out Slot Machines | ||
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BINGO is the easiest form of gambling on the planet, making slot machines look like graduate school and blackjack like nuclear physics. Upside: BINGO aka the Special Olympics of gambling lets everyone lose money regardless of literacy or upper level mental function. |
6 | |
| Frivolous Expenditure During Recession | ||
| With unemployment, investments, home prices, and the stock market taking we simply can’t afford extra expenses like BINGO.
Upside: The home version is free, and for the churches they need the BINGO funds with charity giving facing extra taxation. |
7 | |
| You Might Gain Weight | ||
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The sedentary sport of BINGO makes people gain weight, even making horse racing gamblers look trim by comparison with all of their walking around. Upside: With the tough economy we can’t be wasting extra calories walking around and exercising anyway. |
8 | |
| Can Cost Your Life | ||
| Suicide from gambling and even an early death from gambling obesity can cause an early death for the the BINGO crowd.
Upside: With the environment facing demise with global working we need as many people dying as possible to save the planet. |
9 | |
| There is no Cure for Gambling | ||
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Unlike other diseases like some of the ones I caught at the massage parlor there is no cure for gambling. Upside: None of the really fun diseases have cures either. |
10 | |
If you do have to gamble either do it from home for free or online through some place like BingoPort.co.uk. Because we all know online is the best way to meet attractive mail order brides or have your own at home business that can make you millions a year for doing nothing.
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Since exercise is a new fad and people are concerned about their health in greater ways than they ever have been in known history, it makes sense to talk about the alcohol. So grab a can of beer or a glass of wine and start learning why you should be consuming more alcohol.
| Make New Friends | ||
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In small quantities, alcohol has been proven to lower people’s inhibitions. Alcoohol can also can play a part in slurring speech, so when you ask someone to get me a beer it may sound like you said I’m getting queer. Within moments you might find yourself with a new friend. WORST CASE: That new friend of yours might wind up taking you home for an all-nighter. |
1 | |
| Never Alone | ||
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When people stress out or are looking to have more fun, they often will turn to alcohol for assistance. Between bars becoming more packed and support groups spreading, it will soon be nearly impossible for the regular alcoholic to find his regular seat at the bar again. WORST CASE: You won’t have any chance to drink by yourself and plan suicide in peace. |
2 | |
| Stupid Is The New Funny | ||
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Since you’re going to be drinking it up, things that use to be stupid will become oddly funny. That joke about your priest touching you just to give you and your brother something else in common might make you laugh. WORST CASE: You think it’s a joke if a woman is drunk enough to ask you to go home with her. |
3 | |
| Cheaper Than Drugs | ||
| There are many things in your lifetime that you could enjoy, some of the things are more expensive than others. Alcohol costs much less than illegal drugs such as cocaine and meth.
WORST CASE: You can buy enough alcohol to poison and kill yourself cheaper than with other drugs. |
4 | |
| Makes Time Fly | ||
| Your Monday is dragging on but you know at night you’ll be out drinking with friends. For nine hours that feel like ninety you deal with the slow work day and then the five hours at night of drinking seems to last less than thirty minutes.
WORST CASE: You try drinking at work to make time fly and get caught. |
5 | |
| Environmentally Friendly | ||
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Alcohol is created when grains, fruits, or vegetables are fermented. That’s good stuff, there’s not likely going to be a vegan with a complaint because you are downing a beer or sticking out a pinky while sipping a wine.
WORST CASE: Your meat eating friends will all beat you senseless for trying to be eco-friendly. |
6 | |
| Mensa Won’t Bother You | ||
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In recent studies it’s been proven that drinking can shrink the human brain. Even small quantities of alcohol drinkers have a smaller brain volume than those who do not, according to a study in the Archives of Neurology. WORST CASE: You’ll want to become a Democrat and vote for Obama in 2012. |
7 | |
| Help The Economy | ||
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When you are being a patron at a bar or other establishment, you are helping the economy. Your other choice is to stay home and hoard your money, which should be alright because you don’t want to be part of the solution to help the global economy you selfish hippie. WORST CASE: You go on a spending spree and buy the bar rounds and have more friends to add to your Facebook profile. |
8 | |
| Lose Weight | ||
| A report from Melbourne in August of 2003 showed moderate drinkers seem to have a reduced risk of developing type 2, or adult onset diabetes. This was probably related to the effect alcohol had on improving insulin sensitivity, which appeared to aid weight loss as well as protect against diabetes.
WORST CASE: You drink and stop eating and people think you are related to Calista Flockhart. |
9 | |
| Makes People More Attractive | ||
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Due to the numbing effect of alcohol on the brain, the likelihood that an ugly guy could hook up with a hotter girl increase dramatically. If given enough alcohol than someone as hot as Jessical Biel could end up with an average looking guy.
WORST CASE: You’ll take home a girl that might be coyote ugly. |
10 | |
It seems that the average of society will drink hard liquor and some beer. The lower end of society sticks with beer or just whatever they can steal. The upper eschilon will look toward drinking a fine wine.
Though I’m not about to impart my drinking ideas on you (Retard Life has stuff about that), I will tell you that I know a few people that have wine storage areas but aren’t rich enough to have a wine cellar. For this select group of individuals, it might be a good idea for them to either build a cellar or at least get some good wine racks.
I surfed over to the Vine Store and noticed they had some interesting wine holding racks. One of my favorites was the wrought iron bottle bunch.
They carry more than just racks there, there are also coolers and glasses. Whatever you choose while there you have their 100% satisfaction guarantee, which sounds totally unrealistic. I’m sure they don’t offer 100%, since that would actually cover things like what side of the bed you woke up on and if you got some the previous night. The idea of a guarantee of some sort is good enough for me though.
When you shop around the site check out their really, really wide selection of wine racks. Be sure to look for something that you can give to a loved one and to that new friend that you made who just likes to spoon with you because he’s mature enough in his masculinity to stick a surprise in your back door when you get drunk enough. As a friend told me one day, it’s not gay if you’re on top.
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This new recession is brutal and it’s time to start playing hardball to keep your job. Think about that TV Show Survivor and remember if you get mugged on a date you only have to run faster than your girl. Follow our survival tips and find out how you can keep your job and maybe even your home.
| Fake a Disability | ||
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Wheelchairs are cheap, they just leave them lying around at airports and supermarkets even have electric ones. The Americans with Disabilities Act makes firing anyone of these slow moving workers a lawsuit so legal will just move along to the next able bodied employee to layoff. WORST CASE: Unemployment lasts less than a year, but disability benifits last a lifetime. |
1 | |
| Mention Large Gun Collection | ||
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Casually mention your large collection of firearms and how you go shooting every weekend. Managers will layoff the unarmed employees before you, their own desire for self preservation will keep you on the payroll. WORST CASE: People will start being nicer to you at work. |
2 | |
| Buy a Fake Diploma | ||
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A graduate degree will put you a cut above your co-workers and hanging a paid for graduate degree on your cubicle could keep you on through the recession. WORST CASE: You’ve just padded your resume once you do get laid off. |
3 | |
| Come Out of the Closet | ||
| Gay is the new black, and legal will get worried about firing someone just after coming out of the closet.
WORST CASE: Chicks dig hanging around gay guys, and you will get to hang out with them at lunch – they might even try to convert you! |
4 | |
| Start Kissing Up | ||
| Start sucking up without making it obvious you are doing so. Try being that friendly employee who is easy to work with until things get better.
WORST CASE: Hanging around your bosses you might get some good blackmail material. |
5 | |
| Look Busy | ||
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Always make it look like you are getting things done even if it’s just paper shuffling. Start taking credit for things even if you had little or nothing to do with it.
WORST CASE: You will probably get a better letter of recommendation for all of your hard work. |
6 | |
| Surf P0rn on Co-Workers Computers | ||
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Surfing adult sites at work is a major infraction and will get people to the front of the layoff line. Why not sacrifice your co-worker – when they go on break start looking for 2 girls and a cup on their computer. WORST CASE: You will see some adult content before you get home. |
7 | |
| Learn Co-Workers Jobs | ||
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It’s survival of the fittest and if you can do the job of two workers you’re the one they’ll keep on. Find someone with the easiest job and learn their shortcuts. WORST CASE: You can pad your resume with another skillset. |
8 | |
| Sabotage Co-Workers Cars | ||
| An occasional trip through the parking lot with nails and water for gas tanks can make you shine for being on time with all of your co-workers showing up late.
WORST CASE: America is a consumer based economy and those extra tires and car repairs will you do your part to end the recession. |
9 | |
| Fake Having a Kid | ||
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Every moron in the world has pictures of their kid online so start printing out a few. Take a few days off and work on your resume. Human resources will be less likely to lay off the guy who just had a baby.
WORST CASE: You’ll get some paid time off from work and probably some kids crap as gifts you can eBay for extra cash. |
10 | |
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Ticketfeeder.com has launched cutting edge ‘Take a Seat’ stadium seating technology. In the past fans would have only a vague idea of where they were sitting, but now they can chart exactly where they will be seating. This new technology like google maps sadly can be dangerous in put in the wrong hands and we’re here to think worse case scenarios.
TicketFeeder.com’s "Take a Seat" maps show the coordinates of available seats and allow users to click on the exact section and seats that they would like to purchase.
The "Take a Seat" feature is just one more way that TicketFeeder.com is differentiating itself from other ticket retailers. The company prides itself on assisting customers purchasing tickets with the easiest, most updated tools in the industry and the best website for selection and convenience. At TicketFeeder, telephones are answered by people and online real-time customer service is the norm.
Here are just some of the unforeseen consequences of this cutting edge technology:
| Streakers | ||
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Look for an easy way on to the field, and try to distance yourself from first responders to give yourself maximum exposure.
DOWNSIDE: More streakers will make games even longer. |
1 | |
| Freaky Sign Holders | ||
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Using TicketFeeder you can now estimate where cameras will be pointed to get your moron sign on television. DOWNSIDE: Advertisers will pay less if these freeloaders get better exposure during sporting events. |
2 | |
| Assassins & Terrorists | ||
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In the past ticket buyers had to rely on an operator to pick their "best available" seats to an event (like at Ticketmaster) or those who have tried to decipher a tiny ticket map online (like at Stubhub) now have an innovative new alternative. DOWNSIDE: They can pick a clean shot and try to stay one step ahead of the police before they strike. |
3 | |
| People with Overactive Bladders | ||
| No more embarrassing accidents, use TicketFeeder’s innovative new system to plot the shortest route to the nearest bathroom.
DOWNSIDE: People will make more trips to the bathroom further lengthening lines and make it less likely for women to attend sporting events. |
4 | |
| Hecklers | ||
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Make sure you are right in the path of your least favorite sports person to harass them with maximum efficiency.
DOWNSIDE: Professional athletes will be so fed up with fans they will go back to the only other job they are qualified for – selling cars. |
5 | |
| Stalkers | ||
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Stalk that sports personality that isn’t answering any of your 4,000 fan letters. Or follow your ex around, seeing you having fun at a sporting event will finally convince her to come back to you.
DOWNSIDE: The government can now track exactly where you’re sitting so it’s time to break out the tinfoil. |
6 | |
| Voyeurs | ||
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Station yourself near a bathroom, day care area or in the bleachers where hot chicks might sun themselves during day games. DOWNSIDE: These perverts will make fewer hot chicks go to games which will in turn make straight males and lesbians less likely to show up. |
7 | |
| Hungry Lazy People | ||
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Station yourself near your favorite food stations, no more walking all the way to the other end of the stadium for your favorite confection. Book your seat with the minimum walking distance to your favorite foods. DOWNSIDE: Fatter fans will burden the already struggling health care system. |
8 | |
| Camera Wh0res | ||
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That moron who wants to see himself on TV and wave to his imaginary friends will have an easier way to calculate where to sit.
DRAWBACK: These ugly people will hurt ratings, and team revenues. |
9 | |
| Prematurely Exiting Fans | ||
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Now TicketFeeder is making it even easier to leave before the end of the game and miss the rush. You can find the nearest seat and parking to get on the freeway before the end of the big game.
DRAWBACK: Unfortunately this will only encourage more people to leave before games end and cut concession sales in this down economy. |
10 | |
Technology like this certainly has it’s pitfalls as well as benefits. Perhaps limiting such features to people who have at least ten friends on facebook would weed out some of the freaks.
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Today millions of Americans across the country are coming to terms with the fact the election is over. After the war it’s difficult to return to everyday life and post election stress disorder is a real disease and it’s effecting people across the country. This video shows the human costs of America’s most expensive election…]]>
60 plus years, a lifelong battle with alcoholism and cigarettes have taken their toll on Darlene but through all that and incontinentce she perseveres. Her story goes far beyond just being the ugliest web cam babe in the world, it’s a tale of quiet redemption, courage, dental malpractice and a totally unflappable sense of self-worth…
AlluringThey don’t call Darlene sexy Darlene for no reason.
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The Temptress This web vixen has the time on her hands with Medicare to make her loyal web fans happy and knows just how to string them along.
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Naughty Darlene is at least twice the woman Jessica Alba is and knows how to treat you like a naughty lunch lady.
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Playful She can really put the moves on, she may say she’s 18 but she’s a real
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Incontinent Sometimes age and alcoholism get the better of her and she makes an oopsie on the camera – a fan favorite for the crowd in Japan.
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Concentrating When she takes her teeth out you can tell she’s serious and things are about to get hot.
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Demure Darlene has the moves to back up her looks but it’s refreshing how down to earth she is.
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Thoughtful Without her glasses she has a hard time reading the screen set to 640×480 so give her some time to read what you are doing to yourself.
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Seductive Seeming to tease her hair Darlene teases with the camera tempting you to see through her medical diapers.
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Beautiful Here Darlene shows her good side for the camera.
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So if you’ve had a nibble and can’t wait to take a bite of Sexy Darlene simply let your fingers do the walking to her free cam site. That’s right I said free! A bargain at any price, for sheer humor alone.
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Using scientific methodology we have taken the most attractive celeberities infected with STD’s and determined which are the most attractive. Each subject was given a total score or DRrf or Disease Risk Reward Factor taking account for physical appearance, wealth, and disease severity…| Jessica Alba | ||||||||||||
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Using the STD rating system which accounts for severity of disease, likelyhood of infection, wealth and looks (see Figure-8 below the list) Jessica is the most desirable disease riddled starlet. Her disease was apparently given to her by Derek Jeter. A former employee of her ex-boyfriend Cash Warren used to go out on runs and refill her Valtrex prescription on a regular basis
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| Kristanna Loken | ||||||||||||
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Reportedly Kritanna passed the gift that keeps giving it to her boyfriend, Justin Whalin. Her most memorable role was as the female terminator in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Being a converted fashion model the less she speaks the better when acting. Loken stated in an interview with Curve magazine, "I have dated and have had sex with men and women and have to say that the relationships I have had with certain women have been much more fulfilling, sexually and emotionally, than of those with certain men… I connect with an aura, with energy. And if the person with whom I connect happens to be a female, that’s just the way it is. That’s what makes my wheels turn."
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| Pamela Anderson | ||||||||||||
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Pamela Anderson is making strong progress in her battle against Hepatitis C – her doctor has declared her fitter and healthier at 40 than she’s ever been in her life. In 2003, Anderson claimed she was not expected to live for more than 10 or 15 years after contracting the disease from ex-husband Tommy Lee – but last October the former Baywatch star announced her determination to defy all odds and cure the virus completely. Her numbers would be higher, but her looks are on the downhill slope and she can’t rely on her acting skills to pay her phone bill.
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| Victoria Beckham | ||||||||||||
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Victoria Beckham the former Spice Girl turned freakish alien example of plastic surgery gone too far (ala Michael Jackson) would be the wealthiest on this list if her and her husband didn’t manage money like Fannie Mae. The poster couple for nouveau riche jet sets around the world buying up orchards and reportedly Victoria aka "Poche Spice" sports a seven million dollar ring. Victoria probably picked up the Herp from one of her husband’s thousand plus groupie count.
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| Paris Hilton | ||||||||||||
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Paris neglected to pay off her bills for a storage unit and her belongings were auctioned off. Thanks once again to that storage locker which held more secrets than the chest in Raiders of the Lost Ark, a medical record/prescription info insert emerged for a drug called Valtrex, which is used to treat outbreaks of genital herpes. The troubled celebutante, sort of actress, sort of singer was formerlly a professional heiress was but written out of the will for her crazy antics. That cost her more than fifty million dollars and at least two spots on this list.
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| Lindsey Lohan | ||||||||||||
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This former child model went on to become a late-teen Disney movie star to wild party girl with not much of an acting future. By all accounts she has given up men and is set to marry Samantha Ronson within a year. Prior to switching teams Lohan went through more male actors than a catering truck. She has recently taken a break from acting to drive under the influence and get back her girlish figure in rehab centers.
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| Alyssa Milano | ||||||||||||
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Her career has tapered off since two succesful TV shows (Charmed and Who’s The Boss) and her career is mostly limited to B Movies and the Sci-Fi Channel. She is sweet, loves sports and visits the troops so with her good looks you could probably put up with the odd flare up.
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| Britney Spears | ||||||||||||
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Britney’s well telivised downward spiral has led her to wake up in more than one strange bed after a drug filled evening of partying. This former member of the Mickey Mouse Club even kissed Madonna on the lips, and that’s roughly equivelent to locking lips with a half dozen Bangkok prostitutes. She has been doucmented buying Zovirax in Kentwood. The head shaving, well publicised drug problems, losing her children to Kevin Federline and massive weight gain have all taken their toll on her career and more importantly her cash supplies.
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| Janet Jackson | ||||||||||||
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Janet Jackson had a list of her perscriptons leaked online. Here is a link from smoking gun with her actual perscription for Zovirax (an antiviral drug, a synthetic nucleoside analogue, that is active against the herpes viruses,) She has the highest wealth on the list but looks too much like her child fondling brother Michael to score too high on this list. Besides at 42 she is one of the oldest on this list and is prone to massive (Oprah-esque) weight gains.
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| Katie Holmes | ||||||||||||
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Katie seems like a nice enough child bride in the happy Scientology family. She would rank higher in wealth, but signed a $40 million dollar prenuptual agreement with Tom Cruise. I think for $40 million I would let the man nearly twice her age slobber all over me and give me herpes.
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DRrf or Disease Risk Reward Factor aka (STD Ranking) calculated where:
| x | External Bodily Attraction Factor (0-10) | Dp | Disease Probability Percentage |
| y | Wealth in Millions | Ds | Disease Severity Percentage |
| Starlett | Looks | Wealth* | STD Probability |
STD Disability | STD Ranking |
| Jessica Alba |
9
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$18
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80%
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40%
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91.04
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| Kristanna Loken |
9
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$3
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75%
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40%
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90.09
|
| Pamela Anderson |
8
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$75
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100%
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80%
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84.71
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| Victoria Beckham |
6.5
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$125
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80%
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40%
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72.85
|
| Paris Hilton |
7
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$12
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90%
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40%
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70.65
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| Lindsey Lohan |
7
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$10
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80%
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40%
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70.53
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| Alyssa Milano |
7
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$8
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80%
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40%
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70.40
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| Britney Spears |
6.5
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$80
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85%
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40%
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69.98
|
| Janet Jackson |
6
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$150
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90%
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40%
|
69.43
|
| Katie Holmes |
6.5
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$50
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90%
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40%
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68.07
|
*Wealth in Millions (US Dollar)
If left unchecked this promiscuous vixens aren’t just a threat to Hollywood – they are a threat to the general public. If we can’t control these celebrities the entire world will be infected with STD’s at least three months before the planet melts and we die from global warming. These worst case computer models show just how real the threat to the country is:
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Argentina is well known for losing to larger countries in battle, first the Falkland Islands and now apparently the South American country is looking to be defeated by the Chinese. WIthout a Chinese version of the Falkland Islands nearby (save Vancouver) Argentina is making an Olympic effort to upset the Chinese into defeating them. Argentina only has two medals at this point, so we decided to award them retarded humor medals for their latest attempt at humor / public relations disaster…
| Men’s Basketball | |
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| Women’s Tennis | |
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| Women’s Soccer | |
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The Chinese athletes are leading in terms of military power, athletic prowess, population, economic strength, but losing in the retarded humor category. Incidentally the soccer player on the left is definitely a guy.
More retarded: Argentinian troops raising flag over the falkalnd islands in 1982.
Hot reporters are willing to do more than just go down for a story some are nearly got killed by a giant ball. Not just a run of the mill ball either, it was a single ball (like John Kruk’s) or more specifically a giant transparent sphere intended to be fun.Sphereing (or Zorbing) is the practice of humans traveling in a sphere, generally made of transparent plastic, usually for fun. Sphereing or globe-riding is generally performed on a gentle slope, allowing the rider to roll downhill, but can also be done on a level surface, as well as on water, permitting more rider control. In the absence of hills, at least one vendor has begun constructing metal ramps.[1] Most spheres are constructed for a single rider, but some hold two or three. The longer runs are approximately half a mile. Globe-riding is very popular in New Zealand and the very first Zorb site was Zorb Rotorua.
The sphere is a double-hulled sphere, with one ball inside the other with an air layer in between. This acts as a shock absorber for the rider, dampening bumps while traveling. It also allows for a much more light-weight sphere made of flexible plastic, as opposed to the rigid plastic of a hamster ball. Many spheres have straps to hold the rider in place, while others leave the rider free to walk the sphere around or be tossed about freely by the rolling motion. A typical sphere is about 3 metres (9.8 ft) in diameter, with an inner sphere size of about 2 metres (6.6 ft), leaving a 50–60 centimetre (20–24 in) air cushion around the riders. The plastic is approximately 0.8 millimetres (0.031 in) thick. The inner and outer sphere are connected by numerous (often hundreds) small ropes. Spheres generally have one or two tunnel-like entrances.
On June 19, 2008 reporter Rebekah Metzler of the Lewiston Sun-Journal, fractured her back and bruised a kidney while rolling down a ski hill in a Chinese knockoff of the product at Lost Valley, Maine.
Statehouse reporter Rebekah Metzler was rolling down a hill inside the car-sized plastic sphere known as “the Zorb” when it bounced off a hay-encased post, went airborne and landed hard several seconds later.
Metzler estimated the ball sailed 8 feet into the air before coming down.
She drove back to the newspaper office and was taken to Central Maine Medical Center in Lewiston where she was admitted Thursday night.
Metzler was inside the sphere along with Sun Journal photographer Lincoln Benedict as part of a media preview of the ride.
Hours after Metzler’s 1 p.m. ride, it was still unclear what went wrong.
“I wouldn’t want this incident to become a black cloud over the Zorb,” Metzler said from the hospital Thursday night. “I think if things are done correctly, it’s safe.”
The ride features a large, inflatable sphere inside which riders are strapped and then rolled down a hill. The sphere is opening at Lost Valley this weekend with the announcement: “Take the wildest ride in your life down over our ski trails!”
Metzler said she had researched the “Zorb” in preparation for her ride and indications were that there was not a big risk of injury. Her guess: The operation of it on Thursday may have been more relaxed because it was not yet open to the public.
“That’s my layman’s point of view,” she said. “I think if the concern level is there, it’s going to be pretty safe.”
Metzler said it did not appear that the sphere handlers paid particular attention to how precisely the orb was inflated before she was sent down the hill.
Zorb Ltd chief executive, Craig Horrocks, of Remuera, Auckland, told the Boston Globe that his company has had issues with “a rogue and fake operators.”
He said the only official Zorb site in the USA was in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, near Dolly Parton’s theme park.
Zorb New England co-manager Jeremy Coito acknowledged that his business base in Danvile New Hampshire was not associated with Zorb Ltd, but claimed that “Zorbing is a generic trademark, a sport” and he could rightfully use its name.
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Some people are fans of sports teams, actors, or little troll dolls and still others are fans of stupid things – like our site. RetardZone has it’s first groupie, and she’s a hottie. Take a minute and drool…
Ava as HellGirl, a new series on FOX premiering next fall.
Ava before the plastic surgery, she used to go by the name Arthur.
Her top is stuffed with melons, and other tasty fruit snacks.
Even Wall-E can’t keep his hands off her.
Carrot Top has been working out, I’d like to stick that vegetable somewhere.
Where’s Ava Cowan?
Ava stands for change!
Ava in a rarely seen advertisement for training toilets for adults.
This endorsement also inspired an unusual following in Japan which resulted in a lucrative movie offer.
Trailer Park Boys, lost Cory and Trevor – but I would so do the new Bubbles.
Ava Cowan denies using steroids.
Ava Cowan had one surgery that went too far…
The incredible modeling hulk.
A true work of art, with a few factory original parts.