The application was discovered by the humorless founder of the shaken baby syndrome foundation.

The 99 cent game tested your patience with a baby who wouldn’t stop crying until you shook daddy’s little paint can to sleep.

More from the Guardian UK

To the surprise of the email hosting center, Emma was able to circumvent their usually intelligent filtering system and sneak me a message. I’m most likely in love… well, except for the issue of religion.

Why is it that in a perfectly good spam message, “God” needs to be mentioned?

Emma is going to have a much lower chance of getting anything from me (like the lottery people, the daughter of the dead oil tycoon, and the Nigerians who still should be wiring me money soon).

Tell the truth Emma, you really aren’t interested in me, you just want me to join your cult religion.

Maybe Emma is a wiccan?

Let me just try to break this down a little more….

Hi, How are you today? I hope you are fine. If so thanks to God Almighty.
Umm… Hi back. I’m alright today. Your hope was successful. Thanks to God? Why? What did God have to do with my being alright? If I were having a craptastic day, would that be thanks to God too?

Please excuse me, I saw your contact email while browsing through the internet so I decide to contact you.
Really now, if you need to excuse yourself then maybe you shouldn’t have committed to disturbing me.

It will be my pleasure to communicate with you.
You’re off to a great start. You have actually communicated in the fact that I received your email.

My name is Emma.
I’m pretty doubtful, but I’ll play along. My name is Michael.

I am here to complete my studies.
You are emailing me. Where is here? I’m here too. And there.

I am single, looking for honest and nice person.
Being single is really the description of a normal birth. Some births yield simese twins.

Somebody who care and fear God whom I can partner with.
If you are fearing God, does that mean you’ve spoken with it and it’s something to fear? I’m not sure who God is, but maybe its something that Chuck Norris could help you with, he doesn’t seem very fearful.

I don’t care about colour or ethnicity.
I do. Mostly because in America the word colour doesn’t have a “u” in it. Ethnicity isn’t so bad, if it weren’t for being able to see color you know that Whoopi Goldberg would be assumed Jewish.

I would like to know you more, most especially what you like and what you dislike.
Hmm.. I like women waiting on me. Sex. Video games. Sex. Oh, and I dislike not having sex. Also, I’m not really into pointless emails from non-existent people.

I am sending you this beautiful mail with wish for much happiness.
Thanks for the wish, I assume in whatever mystical world you live in wishes and God are both real. As for a beautiful email, there were no attachments and the plain text removed whatever you did to make the email beautiful.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Are you able to hear me? Maybe you have some probe in my brain. I was sure that my aluminum foil helmet was helping, but perhaps your powers are to strong for Reynold’s Wrap.

Thanks and God bless!
You’re welcome. Darwin kicks God’s ass.

Love from, Emma
I’m highly doubtful that Emma is really your name. Or that the originator of the email is female. I would assume that you do love me though, as the whole world does. Even the retarded wiccans.

Thanks for your entertainment and enjoyment Emma, enjoy your retard hunt.

For those of you interested in chasing down Emma’s email Internet headers:

Received: from ctsmtpout3.frontal.correo (localhost [127.0.0.1])
by retardzone.com (Spam Firewall) with ESMTP id 3C44A7582E
for ; Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:19:30 -0800 (PST)
Received: from ctsmtpout3.frontal.correo (outmailhost.telefonica.net [213.4.149.242]) by hugo.tagtimeusa.com with ESMTP id M5mG9DvEPbTjf9iB for ; Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:19:30 -0800 (PST)
Received: from User (41.214.117.252) by ctsmtpout3.frontal.correo (7.2.056.6) (authenticated as davidlobato@infonegocio.com)
id 49950437000851C6; Sat, 14 Feb 2009 00:18:41 +0100
Message-ID: <49950437000851C6@ctsmtpout3.frontal.correo> (added by postmaster@telefonica.net)
Reply-To:
From: “Emma”
To: femma1@live.fr
X-ASG-Orig-Subj: Hello!
Subject: Hello!
Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2009 23:17:12 +0100
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset=”Windows-1251″
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2600.0000
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2600.0000
X-Barracuda-Connect: outmailhost.telefonica.net[213.4.149.242]
X-Barracuda-Start-Time: 1234567171
X-Barracuda-Virus-Scanned: by Barracuda Spam Firewall at retardzone.com
X-Barracuda-Spam-Score: 1.36
X-Barracuda-Spam-Status: No, SCORE=1.36 using global scores of TAG_LEVEL=3.5 QUARANTINE_LEVEL=5.0 KILL_LEVEL=7.0 tests=FORGED_MUA_OUTLOOK
X-Barracuda-Spam-Report: Code version 3.2, rules version 3.2.1.17755
Rule breakdown below
pts rule name description
—- ———————- ————————————————–
1.36 FORGED_MUA_OUTLOOK Forged mail pretending to be from MS Outlook
Return-Path: davidlobato@infonegocio.com
X-OriginalArrivalTime: 13 Feb 2009 23:29:30.0093 (UTC) FILETIME=[EB1E99D0:01C98E32]

YouTube (est. 2/2005)
	Anyone can make a video in today’s day. Really. I have a grandmother that died 6 years ago and she’s still making videos. Unfortunately for my grandma though, dead people are not allowed to post on YouTube. The good news is that every living person in the world is allowed to post on YouTube and you can tell that they do because the shear volume of the videos and crappy quality of the average video are breathtakingly painful. Hosted videos: over 550,000,000 Time to watch all: over 3,946 years Web popularity: 3rd most visited site in the U.S. PageRank: 9	1

Veoh (est. 6/2005)
	Veoh would be the younger, unknown relative to YouTube. Like the cousin in your family that everyone knows exists but never talks to and tries to avoid at family reunions. Veoh has signed up deals with several television studios and will stream anything from anyone, including stuff from YouTube. Though Veoh is known by several Internet users, there have been several challenges to their publicized audience of 28 million users a month. Hosted videos: over 320,000,000 (self-reported) Time to watch all: over 5,936 years Web popularity: 88th most visited site in the U.S. PageRank: 7	2

Metacafe (est. 5/2001)
	Metacafe only hosts top movies and funny videos according to the site’s title. After spending hours on the site it’s easily debatable that there are only top movies and funny videos, since I saw many more stupid and wasteful movies than the other two claimed categories, put together. While surfing the site you will notice many of the same attention hungry posters here as on YouTube and Veoh and other video sites. Hosted videos: over 945 (search results) Time to watch all: who cares? Web popularity: 124th most visited site in the U.S. PageRank: 7	3

Yahoo! Video (est. 6/2006)
	Yahoo! video started out with just the ability to upload videos but later relaunched itself to focus on Yahoo-hosted video only. Now the site tries to show “premium” video from all of Yahoo!’s sites along with user uploaded crap. Since the service is free you get what you pay for mostly, though I did see an entertaining video or two while hunting for something involving sex. Hosted videos: lots Time to watch all: 2 minutes before boredom sets in Web popularity: 124th most visited site in the U.S. PageRank: 8 (well, there is no specific stat for Yahoo!’s video)	4

MySpace Video (est. 6/2006)
	MySpace just cheated. First they hit the market quicker and with more aggression than Facebook, then they unleash video action all over their users. It was quite a good idea and since most of the tweeners are using Macs (since they aren’t PC proficient yet) and have nothing better to do than write crap on MySpace all day long, it’s just amazing that YouTube doesn’t start giving away crack or coke to them in order to get their audience. Hosted videos: all of ‘em Time to watch all: forever and ever Web popularity: 7 PageRank: 8	5

Really it seems to be that video sites generate a lot of traffic and have some pretty incredible opportunities for income. If you were going to do something to make money and having some sort of video that solicits money from people is your way, you should probably look into getting some serious video software or get a professional company to help you out.

There are several software products that you could use and depending on the hardware platform that you were using there are easy and ugly software programs. But if you truly want to make money with a video you are going to have to go professional, which means that you need to put out some money in order to get a great company to handle your video presentation.

Richter Studios is one of the video production service companies that comes up decently high in search engines. Just out of curiousity, Retard Zone looked further into Richter Studios and found the regular stuff that most people would find when looking at a company with a parascope or minty scope or some sort of scope thing that looks at details.

Claiming to have been “creating presentations for over 10 years”, puts the side of experience with Richter. Though a lot of companies might come up with exponentially higher numbers (hiding behind the guise of years of experience), it would seem that a younger company, one that is fresher, would be a better choice. These aren’t the days of the 70′s and 80′s, this is a new day and having more cutting edge knowledge and experience would definitely play better for effective video appeal.

Some companies try to specialize in one area of knowledge, which seems like a good idea most of the time. For some reason Richter seems a little spread out by offering video production and website development. Though there might be some connection between the two, I’m not sure if a company that offers programming language assistance (“… PHP, SQL, Lingo, Action Script, HTML, XML, ASP or any of the other programming languages out there.”) is also the company that I would want for professional presentation services.

When Google street view starting capturing the United States, street at a time, it enabled a new bunch of stalkers and voyeurs. In this case, you are able to look at a potential company to do business with and properly arm yourself before going to the company. Though Richter is in Chicago, it doesn’t look like the worst parts of Chicago that you could be traveling through (and their are conveniently located near a cleaner!).

Overall it seems that if you want to make money and have the knowledge to come up with some idea than you should probably concentrate on your strengths and either have a poop inhaling teenage neighbor use his Mac and make you a video or seek professional assistance from the most pro looking site that comes up when you Google.

Playing games has been around since the first caveman found a rock and started throwing it at other cavemen. What today is referred to as dodgeball use to be dodgerock, but what about less physical games that only require an Internet connection and fingers not too dirty from eating Fritos and Nerds.

Online Communities…

World of Warcraft (1994) 11 million subscribers

The game revolves around having virtual players running around a virtual world with virtual friends that are virtually all as nerdy as you are. There are now websites (wow dk) that are made for buying and selling of World Of Warcraft virtual goods, for real money. Though I don’t know if I would ever try to trade real money for virtual things, it seems that there is a good business in it. Currently there are hundreds of websites linking to WoW. There are WoW guarantees and warranties and I’m sure that if your player gets injured, they’ll sell you WoW insurance too. Have you ever thought about selling your account and hard earned time for some small financial gain? You should..you don’t have anything else going for you. Fun Fact 1: In June 2005 a four-month-old South Korean child had suffocated due to neglect by her parents, who were at a nearby café playing World of Warcraft. Fun Fact 2: The government of the People’s Republic of China introduced an online gaming restriction to people under 18-years-old limiting playing time to 3 hours. Retard Factor: More about Buymyaccounts… The critics might say that part of the gaming experience is that you take on a character and go through all the levels of a game, thereby learning and upgrading as you go. BuyMMOAccounts responds to this by saying that the time you spend on upgrading a character can be best spent on enjoying the game with a fully loaded character. We say, to each his own! Saving up on time is definitely a plus point if you consider the amount of time one has to spend on an MMO upgrading their character so they can enjoy the advance stages of the game and BuyMMOAccounts offers an easy way for those who wish to jump ahead. We say they’re just traditionalists like baseball fans, and cheating is the american way. Think of buymyaccounts as steroids, they give you an unfair advantage but help you win at the end of the day. Here are just some of the great deals you can get right now on pre-owned (not used) WOW accounts! Level 70 Troll Shaman (PVP) Scare all of your friends, and kill your ememies like the schoolyard bullies who tormented your life, finally get even with them and rule WoW with this alter ego who can go on the killing spree that you can only fantasize about until the waiting period is over… Reference #4920 $449.00 Level 70 Blood Elf Paladin (PVP) This amazing Blood Elf is not only a killer level 70 character (not really sure what that means) but she is hot, hot, hot, hot. Forget your girlfriend you can just have her over and over. She will do whatevery you command even that embarrasing thing your gilfriend laughed at and accused you of being gay over… Reference #5049 $549.00

1

Habbo (2000) 8 million subscribers

Aimed at teenagers aged 13-17, Habbo features chat rooms rendered by isometric projection in the form of virtual hotel rooms. The service gains revenue from credits bought with real-life currency. Credits are used to buy products such as virtual furniture for the virtual hotel rooms and stickers for user pages. Fun Fact 1: 8 million users have made over 100 million players, meaning each user has on average 12 to 13 personalities. Fun Fact 2: The “Great Habbo Raid of ’06″ occurred during 2006. In the raid (and most others), users signed up to the Habbo site dressed in avatars of an African American wearing a suit and Afro and blocked entry to the pool declaring that it was “closed due to AIDS“. Fun Fact 3: On 14 November 2007, a 17-year-old was arrested by police for allegedly stealing virtual furniture bought with real money worth up to $5,000. Retard Factor:

2

Runescape (2001) 15 million subscribers

Taking place in the fantasy-themed realm of Gielinor, which is divided into several different kingdoms, regions, and cities. Players can travel throughout Gielinor on foot, by using magical teleportation spells and devices, or mechanical means of transportation. Fun Fact 1: over 160 servers are used for RuneScape, with enough processing power to help cure AIDS and cancer, or allow nerds to live in a virtual wilderness. Fun Fact 2: complaints focus on incidents of scamming, general spamming, and arguing amongst players. Retard Factor:

3

Club Penguin (2006) 12 million subscribers

Using cartoon penguins as avatars, players waddle around, chat, play minigames and participate in other activities with one another in a snow-covered virtual world. At the point when they were purchased by Disney, Club Penguin had 12 million accounts, of which 700,000 were paid subscribers, and were generating $40 million in annual revenue. Fun Fact 1: Members have access to virtual Members-only parties hosted by Club Penguin. Fun Fact 2: criticism expressed by commentators is that the game encourages consumerism, which equates personal happiness with the purchase of material possessions (ya, because that wouldn’t happen without Club Penguin). Retard Factor:

4

Webkinz (2005) 1-2 million subscribers

Webkinz are stuffed animals that were originally released by the Ganz company on April 29, 2005. The toys are similar to many other small plush toys. However, each Webkinz toy has an attached tag with a unique “Secret Code” printed on it that allows access to the “Webkinz World” website. On Webkinz World, the Secret Code allows the user to own a virtual version of the pet for virtual interaction. Fun Fact 1: programming errors have caused many users to lose virtual items, Kinzcash and even pets and entire rooms. Fun Fact 2: Employees of stores that sell Webkinz products have expressed dismay over various aspects of the Webkinz craze. Many employees have complained about customers who frequently ask about when the new Webkinz styles will arrive, and are concerned by the number of Webkinz some parents purchase. Retard Factor:

5

Toontown (2003) 2-3 million subscribers

Created by The Walt Disney Company and billed as the first such game intended for kids and families. The game has an ESRB rating of E, for Cartoon Violence and Comic Mischief. In the game, each player takes the role of a Toon — a cartoon character based on an anthropomorphic animal: a dog, cat, duck, horse, mouse, rabbit, monkey, bear or pig. Players choose the species and customize the look of their toons when they first start the game. Fun Fact 1: Toontown contains no PVP battles, hence one player cannot “kill” another. Fun Fact 2: Most players use the built-in Toon name generator, which allows them to construct a name by clicking on one or more pre-approved “toony” words (“Super Pinky”, “Princess Rainbow Twinkletoon”, “Sir Funnymonkey”, etc). If a player chooses to submit a custom name, they must wait for someone at Disney to approve it. Custom names that are rejected will sometimes be approved if they are tried again. Names are not unique — multiple Toons can have the same name. Retard Factor:

6

It was a typical Thursday morning today when I received my regular email and started going through it one message at a time. Of course, as a diligent email user I know the importance of using email for all forms of communication and that when I receive something in email, it’s meant to be acted upon. So when Ireceived my Sterling Savings Bank email, I realized that I needed to update my information immediately, as the email told me to.

Here’s the brilliant writing:

STERLING SAVINGS BANK
As a Sterling Savings Bank customer, your privacy and security is a primary task for us. We have been dedicated to customer safety and protection and our mission remains as strong as ever.
We inform you that your Net Banking account is about to expire. It is strongly recommended to update it immediately. Update form is located here:

¿ 2008 Sterling Savings Bank. All Rights Reserved. Member FDIC. Equal Housing Lender.”
 
 

The text of the email seemed pretty important, and since it warned me that my account might be suspended, I figured I had to act quickly.

Now I’m use to seeing a login screen for my Sterling Saving Bank account but the one I was presented with looked a little different.

Unfortunately the site was taken down, so even if you wanted to go to it and give them your information, the site doesn’t have any functioning parts let to it.

Thankfully there will be another phishing site coming up soon, as they are being created at a faster rate than they are being taken down.

Recreate the action and adventure of the Star Wars™ movies with the ultimate Death Star playset! This amazingly detailed battle station features an incredible array of minifigure-scale scenes, moving parts, characters and accessories from Episodes IV and VI on its multiple decks, including the Death Star control room, rotating turbolaser turrets, hangar bay with TIE Advanced starfighter, tractor beam controls, Emperor’s throne room, detention block, firing laser cannon, Imperial conference chamber, droid maintenance facility, and the powerful Death Star superlaser…plus much more! Swing across the chasm with Luke and Leia, face danger in the crushing trash compactor, and duel with Darth Vader for the fate of the galaxy!

Order One (for me please)

How do you prove your nerd status level? Well, you can do the easy thing and battle friends in D&D or you could just play WOW (that’s World Of Warcraft for you non-nerds) or you could show up your friends by going ahead and deciding to sell WOW account online now!

That’s right, you could stop reading this fabulous review about a site that helps you sell your WOW account and just go online and sell it. The benefits besides selling your hard earned work for money, is you will be able to challenge your friends to a “my virtual life is worth more than your virtual life” contest.

I’m no where smart enough to spend hours online playing a game that will yield me less income than recycling cans and bottles I find in trash cans, but the good news is that you are that smart!

Sell your player and start making a new one. After another 6 months holed-up inside of mommy and daddy’s house you will earn yourself enough money to buy more Skittles and Coke.

Or if you are the last in your nerd-pack, you can buy characters off of the people that have spent their lifetimes making their player the ultimate. The advantage is that in many circles you can’t buy nerd status so easily, but here you can. You can buy and sell wow account and maybe even find other nerds to trade ideas with on this virtual wonderland that is World of Warcraft.

Unless you decided to walk outside and smell the air and see other human beings.

If you do decide to sell or buy a WOW character, leave a message here and your nerd-dentity will remain secret.

The JIDF took control of the “Israel is not a country! Delist it from Facebook as a country” Facebook group and is steadily deleting its members. Cohen’s anti-(anti-semitic) group and has since grown in popularity, with a following of over 60,000 members as of July 31, 2008.

Chances are Cohen’s gang of Jewish web ninjas won’t stop with the one group destruction and will move on to combat other anti-religious groups after Saturday (or whatever the Jewish day off is).

After reading the two paragraphs that were written on the anti-semite’s defaced group page, there’s no question that Cohen won the Jewish national Scrabble championship. Here’s a list of some of the words that Cohen shoehorned (17 pts) into a couple paragraphs, along with their Scrabble values, based on not being on any bonus spots:

antisemitic -15 pts; heartily – 14 pts; proliferating – 19 pts; abominable – 16 pts; propaganda – 16 pts; paralleled – 13 pts; provisions – 15 pts; ; ubiquitous – 21 pts; flourish – 14 pts; negligence – 14 pts; abdication – 15 pts; responsibility – 21 pts; legitimate – 13 pts; political – 13 pts; contextual – 19 pts; comparative – 20 pts; purposefully – 22 pts; disseminating – 17 pts; misinformation – 21 pts; delegitimize – 25 pts; repugnant – 12 pts

It’s obvious that Cohen really is much better at bored board games than the anti-semites in which he’s battling on Facebook.

Only the future will show if Cohen can remove the last 19,914 members of the original anti-semitic Facebook group and then move onto another group.

Cohen’s Facebook group

Friends and family that know me are aware that I’m not a super hero, but if I were my super power would be sarcasm. No, I’m not that good, but since it’s one of my more noticable traits it’s often looked upon as one of my strengths. Of course, this only helped me to find people that disliked me in school (they were stupid anyway, that’s why they were in school – which is where I was).

In order to get some good karma (just in case.. you never know when you may need it) I decided to buy a new computer for a family member. Since this someone that doesn’t necessarily need a high end computer system, I decided to avoid buying an Alienware computer and instead bought a Dell. Looking back, I should have bought some Taiwanese made HP or Gateway (are they still in business?).

Since I bought the computer, I was somehow volunteered to hook it up. I removed the old computer and figured that within minutes I would be finished… nope. Karma really dislikes me and everything I do. I must have been re-incarnated from an animal-abusing, child-hating, hippy-loving, homophobic or something else really bad. The computer powered on, but the hard disk was not seen by the BIOS. Here comes the wrath of good deads back upon me and up my ass sideways with a ping pong paddle.

I spent a few minutes diagnosing the problem. I opened the case removed the SATA cables from all three devices, two optical units and the HDD (hard disk drive). Then I removed the devices power cables and ran one of the power cables from the BIOS recognized optical unit to the HDD. Then placed one of the SATA cables from optical onto the HDD and into the SATA slot 0 on the motherboard. Still no recognition in the BIOS. I plugged everything back in, putting all connections back into the way the computer was sent and pulled out a SATA laptop HDD, plugging it into the desktop’s HDD cables. The BIOS was happy and wanted to boot into Windows. I’ve diagnosed the problem, and only spent like 4 minutes doing it. Now comes the pain…

I called Dell tech support (800-624-9896) and waited on hold for 19 minutes before getting a hold of someone I usually buy Slurpee’s from, I should have just headed down to 7/11 and picked up a Big Gulp while I was there. After being given a series of useless questions about power cables and USB devices, I got transferred to someone in the laptop support department (800-624-9897), who told me that I would need to speak with someone in the desktop support department. No sh*t Sherlock, thanks!

Of course I was disconnected, because the phone transferring for the Indians (dots, not feathers) is too difficult. I called back and waited on hold for another 13 minutes, which was quicker most likely due to the disconnecting phone callers. I started speaking with someone that was able to give me a case number which I would later be asked for, later, when I was disconnected again because manuals aren’t available in India and putting someone on hold is too hard for the computer support department in Nepal.

I called back, a third time, and waited about 9 minutes until my cell phone battery started giving up on me (Motorola V557 cell phones suck the ball-sweat between a marathon runners legs). It wouldn’t be until the next day that I got to speak with someone from “Dell”.

One Day Later

I’ve decided that getting Dell on the phone might not be enough, so I decided that I would call Dell and also communicate with someone online (http://www.dell.com/chat) and see if either one would maintain an open line of communication throughout the process. If both ways worked, I would be able to write a post about the double-teaming of Dell. You’ll notice that this post isn’t about that though.

I called Dell and started out with giving my case number. That didn’t do any good for the support tech that told me nothing was listed in my case except my name. Wonderful. After speaking for about 30 more seconds the rep on the phone asked my name. What? Didn’t he just tell me that my name was the only information on file? Great start Habib!

Simultaneously I started a chat session with Kanhaya_148312 (funny, they have so many Kanhaya’s that they give them numbers – India must not have many unique names available, though I’ve heard a comedian mention that in order spell the name of an Indian you would need to periodic chart of elements to show (the sign of boron).

Well.. as I’m writing this post I realize that it’s about to be as long as my support time from Dell so I’m going to start shortening it from here.

Phone support asked me to do crazy things with the computer (thankfully I have no shame and felt lonely), including unplugging all cables externally and holding the power button down for 30 seconds. Eventually (after about 30 minutes of ridiculous and time wasting steps and lots of hold times) phone support came through the victor, as they were going to send a replacement hard disk!

As for the chat support.. it ended like my first phone calls. I was hung up on through chat. Here’s the chat log for those of you interested though, it ended with me being hung up on through chat.. I’m telling you, karma just isn’t something I think that I’ll be worrying about anymore.

7:02:07 AM System You are now being connected to an agent. Thank you for using Dell Chat

7:02:07 AM System Connected with Kanhaya_148312 : 

7:02:07 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Thank you for contacting Dell Technical Chat Support. My name is Kanhaya and my rep ID number is 148312. How may I assist you?

7:02:29 AM Michael : I bought a new computer. The hard dik is not recognized.

7:03:00 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Michael, I apolozise for the inconvenience caused to you.

7:03:35 AM Michael : The computer is an Inspiron 530.
7:03:52 AM Kanhaya_148312 : I understand your concern and I will personally attend to the issue. Please give me 2 to 3 minutes to pull up your account information.

7:04:17 AM Michael : case # *** *** 051
7:04:37 AM Michael : I’ve been somehow disconnected like 3 times from support over the last 12hours.

7:05:07 AM Kanhaya_148312 : I apolozise for the disconnects and inconvenience caused to you.

7:05:12 AM Kanhaya_148312 : As per our records you are using an Inspiron D 530 with Windows VISTA HOME PREM Edition installed on it. Is that correct?

7:05:37 AM Michael : I don’t know what OS is installed on the hard disk. The computer won’t boot into Windows. It’s suppose to have that OS though.

7:05:57 AM Kanhaya_148312 : How long have you been facing this issue?

7:06:15 AM Michael : The problem has been happening since last night when I unboxed it. Besides that it’s been great.
7:06:32 AM Kanhaya_148312 : I see.

7:06:57 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Michael, are you near to the system with which you are facing the issue?

7:07:16 AM Michael : I have the system here.
7:07:46 AM Michael : When I turn on the computer is shows “No boot device available, press Enter key to retry”

7:08:12 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Michael, please do not worry, we will perform some steps and we will surely fix the issue.

7:10:03 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Michael, please restart the system and press F2 key as the system is powering on.

7:10:31 AM Michael : Alright, I’m in the BIOS.

7:11:42 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Please let me know if you see a hard drive detected there.

7:12:14 AM Michael : There are no hard disks detected.

7:12:29 AM Kanhaya_148312 : I see.

7:13:10 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Michael, you will need to check the power connections of the hard drive with the system.

7:13:53 AM Kanhaya_148312 : You will need to remove the system cover and reseat the cables attached to the hard drive.

7:13:58 AM Kanhaya_148312 : I will provide you with the link to do that.

7:15:38 AM Kanhaya_148312 : http://support.dell.com/support/edocs/systems/inspd530/EN/OM/parts.htm#wp1508953

7:16:23 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Please open this link to remove the system cover.

7:16:53 AM Michael : I have unplugged the cables and plugged them back in.

7:17:11 AM Michael : I restarted the computer, the BIOS is not showing a HDD (hard disk drive).

7:17:12 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Great.

7:17:35 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Are you able to see the CD drive there?

7:18:01 AM Michael : I AM . Both CD drives are present (CD-RW and DVD-RW).

7:18:06 AM Michael : I’ve already attempted to switch SATA positions of the CD-ROM and the HDD, it did not work.

7:18:23 AM Kanhaya_148312 : I see.

7:18:31 AM Michael : I’ve also tried powering the HDD with the power cable from the CD-ROM, it did not work.

7:19:04 AM Michael : I then took the data cable from the CD-ROM and used that cable instead, that did not make a difference.

7:20:18 AM Kanhaya_148312 : I see.

7:20:33 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Michael : , we will need to replace the hard drive.

7:21:03 AM Kanhaya_148312 : May I know the address where you want me to send the hard drive?

7:21:56 AM Michael : (address removed to save me from getting more death threats in person)

7:22:31 AM Michael : When you send the new HDD, will it be pre-installed with whatever s/w was suppose to be installed upon this HDD?
7:22:43 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Yes, that is correct.

7:23:15 AM Kanhaya_148312 : may I send the service technician to replace the hard drive or can you do it yourself?
7:23:47 AM Michael : Whichever is easier for Dell. I’m fully capable of replacing the HDD myself.
7:24:43 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Michael, may I send the service technician to replace the hard drive or can you do it yourself
7:24:57 AM Michael : Umm.. Whichever is easier for Dell. I’m fully capable of replacing the HDD myself.
7:25:49 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Michael, I will send the service technician to your place to replace the hard drive for you.
7:26:10 AM Kanhaya_148312 : May I have the best number where the service technician can contact you?
7:27:33 AM Michael : If you send the hard disk, I can replace it myself. If you would rather have a technician do it, that’s fine with me but not necessary.
7:28:27 AM Michael : Replacing the HDD would only take a few minutes, seems unnecessary to have someone else do it.
7:28:58 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Al right, then I will send the hard drive to you and you will need to replace it yourself.
7:29:06 AM Michael : Understood.
7:29:28 AM Michael : Will you be including the means for me to return the failed HDD (like a return shipping sticker)?
7:29:29 AM Kanhaya_148312 : Kindly stay online for 2-3 minutes while I provide you the dispatch number for future reference.
7:29:42 AM Michael : ok
7:30:42 AM System The session has ended!